MUJAHADAH MY LOVE
#episode 41's. "Uhibbuki Love!!"

*Yusuf

He and Vero stepped gallantly out of the lobby area of a shopping mall with a few paperbags in hand. He had just accompanied the sister shopping for her khuruj equipment. He also bought a few sets of sunnah, siwak, tasbih and perfume for him to share later in the khuruj place as a gift. The habit of sharing to most of his gang members all along seemed to have been ingrained in him.

He never misses a moment of sharing if there is one. Maybe this is one of the reasons for the blessing of his large family property so far. Many souls are helped by the good of their families. Especially Papa who never ignore the problem of zakat property that must be issued as a purifier of their property from the part that should be the property of those who are entitled.

Both of them walked to their cars. He deliberately let Vero bring his own car because He still has some business that needs immediate settlement. He still had to meet some tasykilan that he failed to meet before.

"Lo go back first. I still have a little business!"

"Do you want permission first, sister-in-law?" Vero smiled wryly wanting to tease her.

He just smiled obliquely without disquieting. This time Vero laughed heartily at his accusation just now.

He put on his glasses, opened the car door and entered without caring about Vero's laughter. A moment later his car had come out of there, gliding smoothly and blending into the daytime hustle of the capital's streets. Vero did the same thing, taking the opposite direction to him heading somewhere, somewhere. That direction was not the way to their home, but to the old city.

He wondered where his sister was going. But then the memory of Fathin's face he was about to meet suddenly distracts him. He increased the speed of his vehicle after passing a red light. In front there is already a gang that He will go to. His heart was still beating violently. Imagine what He said in response if Fathin asked where He had disappeared from all this time.

He has rough hair. His ignorant brain began to surf for cliche reasons that could be accepted by the girl even though it had to be seasoned with a little dishonesty.

Again the rule of law reads,

"It's okay to lie as long as he intends to avoid a fight or reconcile a dispute"

It seems to be useful for him this time. He does not want to muddy the atmosphere with honesty. But, what if one day Fathin knew everything, wouldn't that mess things up even more.

Without feeling the car has entered the boarding house Fathin. He still flinch while contemplating. Until at the end of the dilemma in his heart that is getting bigger, He finally decided to honestly say the reason He disappeared all this time. He will give understanding to the girl so that He will both fight, fight for goodness and divine pleasure from their relationship. At the end of all this is their true togetherness. He should invite Fathin together to understand the nature of this relationship.

He opened the glasses that had been perched on his nose. He put his eyes out. The atmosphere there looks lonely. He knew Fathin was in there. Because today he will go to college in the afternoon. He went down and walked straight into the main door.

Tok..

"Asshalaamu'alaikum..!" he hesitated after knocking on Fathin's room door.

He waited with a thump in his heart that was in rhythm with the steps inside that sounded approaching the door.

"Wa'alaikum salad..!"

Chequek..

Deghhh..

He could not help but stare intensely at the sad sweet face that he had so longed for. The clear net was visibly glazed along staring at him inside. He was unable to speak. If He did not remember the ultimatum of Bang thoriq and Gery, maybe now He has embraced the girl in order to let go of the longing that so tormented him in recent weeks.

The face was so seductive that he did not realize that the two just stood glued to each other, locking for a while as if trying to dive deep into what sense they tried to hold so far.

The sad bead that had been glazed over, was now really crying. Sobbing there with a pitiful face, made him tear up. He was at a loss for words even to say hello, "Hi!".

Until clang to so much He was aware of his behavior. His hand was about to wipe away Fathin's tears. Luckily one of the hostesses suddenly came out of the room and passed both so that he did not act out of his will.

"Astaghfirullahal 'Adziim..!" his inner self lamented the weakness of his determination that wanted to avoid physical contact with the girl. Hurriedly he lowered his gaze. Trying to avoid the gaze of Fathin which He felt would destroy his weak faith in a moment if He was a little too late to dodge.

"I_I'm waiting in front. Arsyil has warned me that I can't go to Dalem anymore." He finally made a soft voice and without waiting for Fathin to answer, he turned and walked towards the living room in front of him. His heart rate really tormented him this time.

Repeatedly convince the heart if this is the last time. He would completely avoid meetings like this. His faith was not strong enough. Gery's babbling turned back on his head. It is weak for this one.

*

He was still fiddling with his cell phone as Deheman Fathin's voice shifted the focus. He raised his face and then quickly looked back.

"How are you?" He did not know what to say other than basic questions like that. Fathin who followed down also said slowly,

"B_good! How's k_kakak himself?"

"Alhamdulillah. I'm kind. What is your college?" suddenly he changed into pleasantries. In his heart he cursed his unusual nervousness.

"Currently! um, Brother why? what's really going on?" He swallowed a rough salivary. The question finally came up. He wavered, trying to find the right start to start his explanation.

"Sorry! I'm so sorry!" again, only an apology can be said.

"I'll be sorry if you're honest. Where have you been all this time? I'll just think that doesn't_not if Brother is cheating. Your phone is not active, it is searched everywhere and does not exist. Brother is bosen, do you want me?"

Fathin's getting emotional. Expose everything without hesitation. It seemed like the girl had already prepared thoroughly for this concert. He who had just looked down trying to avoid eye contact with the girl finally sighed heavily, then said softly, and then,

"I deliberately avoided, Fhat. But you must not misunderstand me first. I'm doing this because I want to take care of you. I'm afraid I can't stand myself. You're old enough to understand what I mean."

He paused for a moment and slightly glanced at Fathin's current expression. The face looked confused even though it was still calm with no intention of interrupting. He also continued,

"I've been a little far away treating you. You must have been horrified by people how broken I was before. I'm a sinner, Fhat! we can get this far because I'm the same will as you."

"I'm learning to improve myself. I want to destroy myself for you before we get together. I just found out that the relationship like the one we are on is wrong. We're not muhrim, Fhat! God does not like this kind of relationship. I'm afraid God is angry about our misahin and doesn't fool us later."

He was still downcast in trying to withstand the turmoil of whatever was in there. His feelings were muddled undefined. The elbow bead even flushed. Fathin was still in his place, trying to examine and try to understand the meaning of each of his words.

"The journey to find a mate and towards a marriage that Allah desires is a long struggle and mujahadah that demands patience. If you still take this seriously and trust me, I hope you can understand. You want to, can't you wait for me to study first?"

Fathin began to raise his face. Stare at him and back down.

"A_i, I_ have not fully understood the meaning of Brother, ta_but I want you to know that I_, I_, already love and love Brother!" Fathin was nervous. The girl seemed to be twisting her fingers. His heart was relieved to hear Fathin's confession.

Fathin nodded softly while smiling in embarrassment. The corner of his lips began to be interested. His heart warmed up, happy. He started to calm down not so much earlier. Again he could not hold back. He lifted his face and looked inside, that red face in front of him. His heart was back in a great rippling. That slightly flushed white face was truly charming.

Fathin who felt he was being stared at finally lifted his face and looked back. A second later, smile. He replied with the same smile. Equally timid, groggy and the ending wrong behavior.

"Ehm, I'm here also skalian want a report that today I want to go out kuruj again three days. This time with Vero and the college kids."

The two chuckled softly with the word "report. Fathin just nodded. Ok! everything is clear. Time to go home. Again the reason for comfort and for the common good. He did not want his evil brain to be khilaf anymore.

"I still have a little business that blum. I'm walking now, Dad?" He finally hesitated.

Although heavy heart but Fathin still nodded resignedly. Both of them stood up and walked out. When he arrived at the terrace he stood again to face his girl. He returned to the khilaf for the umpteenth time, staring at the face of ayu in front of him who was now back in tears.

"I'll go back first! Take good care of yourself. Keep health!" his voice was hoarse holding tight. Fathin was really teary-eyed.

The girl just nodded silently. He held something in there.

"Don't cry, dong, baby! patient ones, dad! God willing this won't be long. Me_ me, this is blum. But I can't help myself not talking about this, I love you, Fathin! by God I love you!" this time his eagle bead was completely flushed holding back the cry.

"I love you too. I love you too! I will always be waiting for you, brother. Until anytime. I'm promise!" Fathin blurted still with the unceasing watery neutrals.

"Thank you, baby! I'm on the road, dad! Assalaamu'alaikum..!"

"Wa'alaikumsalaam's chat.. Be careful on the road!"

He nodded with a warm smile and walked to his car. He still had time to wave at Fathin who was still loyal standing there staring sadly. He came in and immediately went from there after coding with a horn. He was constantly staring at his girl from behind the rearview mirror. Longing again attacked him. This time there was nothing stopping her from shedding tears. Isn't there a prohibition on men crying? they also have hearts. No matter how strong they are, there will be times when crying is the only cure.

**

*fatin

He was still standing staring blankly at the terrace of the boarding house. I don't know, suddenly his heart felt empty. Like something was missing. A piece of his heart seemed to be carried away along with the loss of the shadow of Joseph's car from his sight. His sick bead that was wet from now on He closed it. Trying to permeate his unceasing inner berserk berserk. His feelings are simply not capable of being defined. Mixed between sad, unwilling, longing, disappointed, want to be angry there is also a happy senoktah wrapped in hope.

The tightness in his chest still felt tight. He had just soared by a happy upset because he had met the idol again, but then went back to sunset, drowning in the trough of longing that was increasingly torturous. He was not unaware of the reality that Joseph was trying to understand. He quite understands. But again the ego and feeling that has not been fully treated makes it as if it is difficult to accept it.

His heart ached to imagine after this he would return in the longing trays like yesterday. Joseph will disappear again. Seeing the attitude of the man who changed drastically earlier, made him increasingly realize that the figure of Joseph is not the former Joseph. It changed. Even the eyes of the lover are always bowed trying to avoid a fight with him.

He took another breath in trying to relieve the tightness in the chest and exhaled it rough. Like Mitha's magic spell that is always a mainstay if they are in the midst of strange problems, "Inhale exhale! Breathe in.exhale!"

He went back to the room. Dropped in the bed and of course returned to express sadness with prolonged crying. He misses. Really homesick. Again his heart confirmed that love was ambiguous. Happy but painful too.

Ting..

He was a little jumped when the sound of incoming messages was heard from his phone. He hurriedly grabbed the folding object that was not far from him and opened it quickly.

Degh's..

He was pounding beautifully reading the name of the sender, which turned out to be from the man he had so much hoped for, Joseph. With trembling hands he opened the message and read it with all his heart, slowly, and with great care.

From: My Dear

Uhibbuki Fish..

God has told such a beautiful story..

God creates a sense in the story. That taste is the gift of the creator. You have the same sense of me. Your race is also my race…

Different ways of expressing taste. Disappeared but not disappeared. Not cut or break. No matter, it does not mean you do not want to have

Not a scar that I wanted to do but an engraving of the love of the Creator that I was trying to fight for.

I stammered in saying but I tried to continue in prayer. In every prayer I say your name. Let God know that I want to bring you closer to God the Most Love.

I'm stupid in taste, but I want to work on love because love sometimes destroys logic.

I'm not leaving. I won't run either. I'm here waiting for you. And I'm just trying to take care of you. Guarding our love.

I am a sinner. I don't know how many sins I have committed. But I want to keep you from sin because I don't want you to burn in hellfire.

If the way I make your time complicated, that's my flaw. Only forgiveness can be assembled in this text and ask forgiveness from the Creator. Hope I want to find taste and despair with the path that is ridhoi by Him.

Meet me in prayer. May we be met at the same time united at the right time until yours will be mine and I am all yours.

You will never exchange something you will get from Him. Pray and ask because HE is the answer to every prayer and request

And trust us to be found and united in unexpected ways because God's Plan will be beautiful in time.

I love you more, my future wife!

*

He returned with tears. Hugging his phone while imagining being hugged the owner the beautiful words touched it. The previously weak and fragile heart is now back strong. It warms. He believed that Joseph was the best man God had prepared to become his priest. In the heart of back knitting despair and promise, He will keep his heart for the lover.

"Uhibbuka fillah, my shole man! I love you more!" He said more and more tightly clutching his cellphone.

TBC>>>