My Devil Emperor
Suffering

Yuan speechless. Actually he was confused now, where was this?

Empty and silent. Everything is white with a little fog. He did not feel that this place was dangerous just that it felt a little scared because there was no ZiXuan beside it.

"Han Yuan."

That familiar voice made him instantly turn around. And, yes..is that her?

"You—who are you?"

The woman standing behind him was very beautiful. He smiled and said, "I? It is you."

Yuan frowned, then he seemed to have just realized the woman was carrying something in her arms.

Something very small. His cheeks were as stale and red as cake, the face of the tiny man was glowing and his eyes were closed. The boy's eyelashes were even long and bushy, he was extremely beautiful.

The woman raised her eyebrows then looked down at the baby in her arms and smiled gently. "He's very handsome, isn't he?" tanyakanya. Next to his hand he rubbed the child's cheek slowly.

"Dia—"

"Umm, our son?" The woman frowned, this sentence was very ambiguous. He shook his head quickly and rectified, "Since we are one, then this is my son and His Majesty, right?"

"My boy?" yang Yuan whispered. He stepped forward subconsciously, but somehow he never arrived. It's like they're very far away.

"Why? Why can't I get close to you?"

The woman breathed softly and looked at the woman in front of her unhappily, "How can you approach yourself?"

"I'm—I want to see it."

"Don't worry, he stays with you. Wake up, my lord is waiting for you."

Yuan shook his head quickly. "My child! My boy! No, don't take my son away."

With the woman fading and disappearing, Yuan felt asphyxiated and made her completely open her eyes this time.

"Suami" he said weakly.

Hearing that voice, ZiXuan who had lowered his head earlier, raised his face.

"Are you awake?"

Yuan raised his body about to sit down, but ZiXuan prevented.

"Stay lying down."

Yuan according. He put his head back on the pillow and looked at ZiXuan's face which also looked pale.

"Why does my master look thinner."

"Is that so?"

Yuan did not respond but rather raised one hand and gently rubbed ZiXuan's cheeks.

"How long have I been asleep?" tanyakanya.

"Fourteen days."

Hearing that, Yuan pensively recalled what had last happened. She thought she had just woken up from sleep as usual, but she felt very weak, and her husband looked different from usual.

"I... " Yuan's words stopped as he accidentally touched something. His forehead creased for a second after which the woman revealed the blanket that covered her body.

"My-son"

His head felt dizzy and his heart hurt. "Your Majesty, in—where is my son?"

ZiXuan did not reply. The man closed his eyes for a moment.

"My husband... Where's our son?"

ZiXuan's eyelashes moved uneasily before finally returning to lift. He clasped onto Yuan's tiny hand that felt a little wet.

"Our son"

"Where is he?" asked Yuan impatiently.

"He's gone."

Those three words were like a precise bolt of lightning hitting Yuan's heart. He tilted his head still with a puzzled look.

"A—what does it mean?"

"He's dead."

Yuan pulled his hand violently. "You—you lied to me right?"

ZiXuan lowered his head, he heaved a heavy sigh. How to explain it to Yuan whereas he himself felt smashed to pieces.

After quite a while of not getting any more Yuan moves, ZiXuan again raised his face. His heart was pierced to see the woman.

"Xiao Li's... "

"Leave me alone."

"Xiao Li, it's my fault. I can't protect you." ZiXuan was about to touch Yuan's cheek, but the woman had already tilted her body facing the other direction.

"Your Majesty, can you leave me alone?" it's more formal.

ZiXuan no longer said, he stood up and walked out leaving Yuan alone.

Yuan's tears fell to coincide with the sound of the door being closed. So, the dream is also true. With no expression on her face, tears kept coming down. A very sad sight. The woman was no more like a body that lost its life.

I don't know how long she's been crying until her eyes get heavy and fall asleep. Yuan was tired.

The news of Empress Xuan's miscarriage reached the ears of the queen mother and empress dowager, as well as the Zhou royal family.

They had all met and supported the woman, but none of them had responded.

Yuan continued to stare blankly upon waking up. He also refused to leave his palace. Just shutting yourself in the room.

Until it is not felt, this situation has been going on for less than three months.

"Empress, look. His Majesty made you food again. You still don't want to eat it?" Jingli knelt under the bed while taking out some food that looked still steaming and gave off an alluring scent.

"Emer, eat at least a little. Your Majesty will feel sad again if you don't want to eat it."

Yuan only glanced at him a glance before staring blankly back ahead.

Jingli exhaled softly. After Yuan found out he had lost his unborn child, it was very difficult to make him eat or talk. Yuan had not eaten for two days. She was last about to eat when the Queen mother forced her, but now they're all back.

The sound of footsteps behind him made Jingli turn his head.

"The Queen doesn't want to eat anymore?"

Jingli nodded weakly.

The person walked up to the two and took a position next to Jingli.

"The Empress, even though servant and Jingli don't know how you feel, but we're just as sad to see you like this. Also, Your Majesty is always worried about you. Every night, His Majesty would visit the Empress while she was asleep."

Yuan turned to listen to Yunniang's statement. "Why did His Majesty meet me when I was already asleep?" his question made the two servants gasp.

"That's... I don't know, maybe the Empress should ask her herself."

Yuan was silent again. He started to feel guilty towards ZiXuan for already ignoring him. She shouldn't have acted that way to her husband. That man must have suffered just as much as he did.

"Leave that there. I'm gonna eat it. You two can go."

"Well," Jingli and Yunniang replied simultaneously. Yuan already wanted to eat alone, they were already relieved. So before Yuan's mood changed, they better give up.

Yuan stared at some of the dishes that looked still warm and started eating them. This was the first time he had eaten ZiXuan cuisine. Previously the man had also cooked for Yuan a few times but he had always not eaten ZiXuan's homemade cooking, and when ZiXuan met him, he would chase him away. Now Yuan realized why ZiXuan had only met him when he was already asleep or why the man had not delivered directly the food he had made.

Yuan is not a good wife. How could he ignore ZiXuan's affection and reject him cruelly?

The food tasted so delicious in his mouth and how many times had he wasted it?

Suddenly Yuan slammed the chopsticks in his hand and ran out. All he thought about was 'I have to see my husband'.

The servants or guards who passed by him lowered their heads and gave their greetings. After Yuan was far away, they just talked about his shock. This was the first time in nearly three months they had not seen Empress Xuan.

Yuan had already stopped at her husband's study. He raised his hand when he saw that the bodyguard outside the study was about to inform him of his arrival. Both of them understand.

Yuan was just about to directly open the door, but he had his hand stopped in midair when he heard a voice from within.

"You haven't eaten it?"

Yuan frowned. It was like Li Wei's voice.

While inside the room, Li Wei had just entered and saw the food on the table still untouched.

"I'll eat it later."

"Yanh Your Majesty, you know? You use that excuse too often. At least just say if you don't want to eat, let you starve to death" he said.

ZiXuan laughed cynically and said, "Isn't that good?"

"Are you crazy? How can a leader have such thoughts?"

"Do I still deserve to be a dreamer when I can't protect my wife and children?"

Li Wei was stunned. This was the first time he had seen ZiXuan fall that deep.

"You are different," he muttered which ZiXuan still heard.

"Everyone must have a change. That's a natural thing. I did not have a definite purpose and desire before I finally met Xiao Li. Do you think that's my wish?"

"He's going through a very heavy thing. If I had let go in the past, he probably wouldn't have had this bad luck. He doesn't have to suffer. In that case it's perfectly natural that he hates and blames me."

"It wasn't your fault either. It is also beyond your will. Why should you accept a mistake that is not yours? Empress Xuan is sad, but aren't you the same? Even-"

"Enough. If you come just for that, it's better to just leave" ZiXuan sidelines.

Li Wei stopped talking. The room was silent again.

At the door, Yuan heard everything. He caught a tone of sadness and despair in every sentence ZiXuan spoke, it deeply hurt his heart. He was already really cruel to that man.

Yuan closed his eyes and clenched his hands. He chose not to listen anymore and turned away.

"Don't tell him I came here to him" he said before leaving.

"good. Empress."

...▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎...