My Life is Difficult
No Meaning of My Life

Mother said wisely made these tears come back with her profuse wetting my cheeks, unable to look at the two faces of my parents then I immediately kowtowed to kiss Mother's feet .

" Mom..sorry Alin ma'am..sorry Alin...!" I said with a face soaked with tears.

This is all I can do, to face my Mother and Father .

I saw the shadow of Marco waiting for me at the end of the Gang had now been told, maybe he had seen that my mother and father had done nothing to me , they both accepted me well and with gratitude that I had returned safely .

" Mother .... Father, I'm sorry Alin .... Forgive the sins that Alin has committed all this time.Pardon Alin... !!"

I said again to apologize and forgive me for all the mistakes I have made by kissing my Mom and Dad's hands, because I can't say anything other than apologizing , even if I have to say it a thousand times .

Hearing the words of my constant apology, Mom finally rubbed my head and kissed my cheek and said ....

" Let's take a shower and go to bed, tomorrow you have to get up early to go to school , your mother and father can only hope that your life will be better and happier than both of us ."

I could only cry hearing every sentence that Mom said to me .

It is true, No parent in the world wishes his child were more miserable than he was .

I nodded my head and immediately went to the bathroom hoping I could wash away all the sins I had committed today , I was silent like a statue when I looked at my face in the mirror on the wall of this bathroom , I opened one by one the clothes were torn apart and covered in Marco's blood .

Mom and Dad really gave me the right to maturity & they didn't blaspheme me or scold me at all , they gave me time to explain everything when I was ready and to be honest with them .

If only my Father and Mother had known the truth , that how many hands have been - the hands of this perverted man who has touched me not to mention how many lips of their perverted lips that make this body become bluish red , if my Mom and Dad knew that almost all the hotels recognized my face then if my Mom and Dad knew.

Because now I can only cry and regret all this but I cannot go back and forget what happened , Only this mirror knows what I really am ...

" Alin, did you make trouble again last night ? because all the friends of Gatot said you came home crying ?" Ask Mr. Gatot to me .

I can only answer their questions with a smile because I don't want to remember any more of those very painful problems ', to me earlier this morning was a new day , I want to forget what I experienced yesterday .

" Let's eat Don't forget to pray before eating... Oh yes Alin if you come home late again don't forget to tell mom... So that your Mom and Dad don't worry again later... ".

Mother's words made me feel comfortable and meaningful in this family .

Mother is the noblest angel to me, I will not be able to pay for all this even if it is my life to repay Mother's actions to me .

" Ow Ma'am... Don't think of Alin..... She's her life is good Ms .. Gatot wondered why Mother and Father were still blind about him ! Had I known who Alin really was, to cry blood would not have changed her life to go back the way I expected ... !".

Choked on my mouth when I heard what my brother Gatot said .

" Gatot, you are a brother who must be able to take care of all his younger siblings instead of dropping them, you are all children of Mother and Father , ' he said , Whatever happens to you all must be able to look after and respect each other because you are the only treasure that Mother and Father have !!"

Mother's words made me moved and embarrassed . Mother did not blaspheme or punish me at all .

About last night, Mom and Dad didn't ask me to tell him .

" Yes mom..... Andika, Nian and Ganesh will always look after Kak Alinda, we all love Alin.

All my sisters loved me so much and they all made me mean something in this house .

The love and affection that they gave me, very contrary to What I gave them, I can only give a stain to this family .

In the least I can't give my best to them .

" Mommy ! Gatot will take care of all these younger brothers and sisters and families properly ! but Gatot is not willing to keep the poison that is in this family , all he can do is make shame and make the dignity of Mother and Father is nothing in the eyes of everyone who sees this family of ours !".