Pesantren I'M In Love
34. jealousy???

"why does sill....anti get sick or why??"ask ustadz Rahman

o Allah grant me the courage to look at the law...

I wipe my tears and look into the eyes of the doom, there is a pain in my heart to see it

"stay strong sill come on, you must be strong.."my inner self I took a rough breath.

I saw the look of azam and vito messy there was a bruise on the end of his lips with a matted shirt due to the pull of vito, and beg*his eyes still had time to say in a mess he still looks handsome impression like a badboy, I turned around the body leaving them all

"salama-title...."

is this true ???is my decision right ???as if regretting everything that has happened, God willing this pain will not be long

days pass by just like that, my heart still feels gaping, I really try to cover it by busying myself to learn like my original purpose here studying, graduating and returning to my life ....

"anti sure is fine ??"sarah asked when we were in the lucky room at the end of this I could control myself not to stay away from sarah, I was much better off losing a lover or something than losing a friend

"god willing," I said, although the reality is far from good

"sil is honest with us, if anti has a problem do not hold your own, oh yes the other day azam came to ask anti news and ask about anti, is there something with you guys ??"tanya ayu followed by the curious gaze of sarah and cici

"nga.ngga what's wrong.."gugupku.

"oh yeah why the anti out of pencak silat activities instead of anti-happy huh??"ask Cici

"what exactly do you want to focus on the same lessons you will know for yourself soon the semester exam." said me with a bland smile

"ana sure anti is not fine," said sarah

"sil ana can talk for a while with anti???"sarah's question made me,ayu and Cici speechless

"why aren't you here??"ask the cici, mayu nudge the cici who already know the direction of the conversation and immediately invite out Cici, mayu know this is not his domain and this cici is a personal matter between me and sarah

"ci come with ana for a while."ajak ayu while pulling the hands of the sneakers.

"sil.ana wants to talk about serious problems, this is about......"

tock..

tock...

tock....

"assalamualaikum ,sorry ukhti called ustadzah Fatimah to his room.."santriwati said cut off sarah's conversation..

"yes greetings.." said sarah clucking.

"oh yes for a moment, the way I live first yes we talk next time. assalamualaikum,, mari ukhti..."

I walked behind the santriwati gina who called me, now we walk through the classroom corridor, uks, then pass the ball field usually here santriwan play ball because the room ustadz Fatimah is at the end of ,in this pesantren the teachers are provided rooms such as a small house house to rest or stay ,

unexpectedly on the field there is a azam who was playing ball with other santriwan, he was running around wearing a white t-shirt and shorts without sweat that flooded his face adding to the impression of maco and cool ,but now that I can only look at her and miss her I know I have to give her up for sarah, when our gazes meet

"astagfirullah.." I immediately threw my gaze in another direction and accidentally hit a trash can that was located in every front of a room.

"aww...ikh trash can ngeselin ..." I held my tripped leg, I realized azam still saw me and smiled looking at me just now ,

"eat it if the way his eyes do not miss "say Azam to make all the santri who play come to see me

azam pov

"ana tau sil anti is hiding something, we see how far the anti dodge and hide it ...."

I hurriedly walked again because now maybe my face was like a boiled crab....

"assalamualaikum,ustadzah .."my greeting while in the doorway of a room like a small green and white house is the residence of the teacher inhabited by the ustadzah fatimah

"walaikumsalam, enter sil.." said the ustadzah Fatimah and told me to sit down.

"ana deliberately called the anti here to give opinions and requests, about anti would agree??"ask her

"what's ustadzah??? "my back lot

"may ustadzah, priscil agree.."I replied at least treat my longing for music.

"Alhamdulillah then we will talk again with children marawis.." said the ustadzah Fatimah.

"alright then ustadzah, I beg you to resign... assalamualaikum.."salamku.

"wa'alaikum..."

"there's still no yes...."murmured while nervously walking back and forth I was afraid to pass through the ball field earlier but there was no other way to return to the room to be honest I was afraid and embarrassed to pass the field because it could be still be azam there playing ball I bit my fingernails

"huuffffft .. bismillah.." I took a rough breath and walked in a hurry without turning my eyes straight ahead.

when passing through the field I turned my head and could be grateful santri who had played ball was not there if it could not die of lice because of shame for the words of punishment and the incident hit the trash

"haaaa, there is no end, manan.aman.." I said in relief while stroking the chest.

"what's safe ???"suddenly a voice sounded from beside me was walking towards me My steps stopped and I was silent to pecking at the sound I knew so well

dag..dig......

heart's pounding....

I saw him wearing a white t-shirt and knee-length shorts wiping his white face bathed in sweat with a small towel , his appearance is now so like not santri even impressed like a Korean artist without kopiah I'm sure azam is not a real person here even like the city people ....

"don't look at ana like that 'we haven't become mahram.later the fall becomes a sin.." he said.

"astagfirullah.." I shook my head quickly and threw my face away, I didn't try to not care and was about to step up.

"sil.ana tau anti is hiding something,," he said out loud.

"sotoy.." I murmured slowly but still heard.

"so this is your way ...?? dodge???running away from trouble??" the question of interrogating made me a little emotional

"childish.." he said, which made me more emotional, my heart rumbled but I could still hold it.

"so what's been anti just toying with your feelings ???is there really an anti-thin victim the umpteenth time??" frequently ...

I couldn't help but feel the emotion of hearing such lowly doomsday words that he considered me

"heh.denger yes I never play the same feelings of people.but...."

I hung my words because I was confused what to say

"but what???but anti does admit it.cihhh.."azam screeched.

I don't like his look as if it belittles and humbles me

"after making Ana fall in love and then anti-go away,, hhaaa" her tone slightly raised me afraid and grew angry

"anti succeeded..managed to tear apart the hearts of ana sil and anti-leave like garbage ,great.."was accompanied by a soft applause.

"loe tau ...gue confessed this because of Sarah!!!!! he likes loe 'em, admires loe even before I came here 'evil it feels when I arrive I come and ruin everything ,sarah Temen me she was the first person who accepted me sincerely while others were busy prying me and I willingly sacrifice my feelings...." I snapped unconsciously I had taken out all my heart before my tears were unstoppable and now fell dripping on the cheek I wiped it rough using the back of my hand and ran away from the azam

azam was still surprised because I called from behind and I didn't care that I was running away

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

a few days after the incident I saw Azam talking with sarah accompanied by ayu near the library ,I'm walking with Fitri who happens to be going to the library trying not to care for them even though my heart hurts I try to be sincere, 'azam,sarah and ayu noticed my gaze and they looked back at me there was panic on sarah and ayu's face but not with azam she grinned as if she was doing it on purpose, wanting me to turn around was impossible

"huhhhh did I go back, yes "I frowned my forehead

when they passed each other, the three pairs of eyes looked at me , Fitri saw me indistinct gaze

"anti why is sil....?"I asked him to tighten my grip on Fitri's arm

"hah.ga anything fit,,, just another patient exercise.." said me and smiled wryly without looking into those eyes.

"pffftttt.."ayu, sarah and Azam held back laughter.....