Rainbow for Aqila
Papa Egoist

The moonlight entering summer shone brightly, the breeze blowing slowly blew the window curtains from the slightly open gap

Papa Arya rubbed Aqila's tears slowly until she was unaware that her tears were also dripping down her daughter's hands

"What's that sick? Even in your sleep you're still crying son?" He asked in a soft voice, looking at Aqila who was already asleep but there was still a drop of tears falling from the corner of her eyes

"What hurts hmm? why did Aqila hide everything herself? Papa is here so that Aqila is not alone anymore, Aqila wants who? Want mama? Tomorrow mama's coming to meet Aqila, want Brother Devan? Brother Darren, Brother Rian or Reyna? all there is for Aqila"

"Or does Aqila want Naufal? Rian said he could already remember everything about Aqila"

"So now it's Aqila's turn to be healed"

"Many people are waiting for Aqila here, please never think of leaving" Papa Arya closed her eyes as her voice began to disappear

"Aqila is just ngerepotin ya pah?" aqila asked in a soft voice, she woke up when she felt something dripping down her hands, apparently the father who was crying

"That's kind of like that again, huh? Aqila can, right?" Papa Arya was a little surprised to see Aqila awake, but was even more surprised to hear the words coming out of her daughter's mouth

"Papa likes to be repotinated with Aqila, Aqila listen? Papa likes to be repotinated"

"What's lying, then why is papa crying?" like a child who asks reasons that cannot be digested easily by his brain

"Papa nangis loa Aqila kayak gini, papa nangis because Aqila does not want the same story papa, papa nangis because Aqila mendam all by herself, papa nangis because it can not help Aqila reduce the pain, papa cried because he could not be as strong as Aqila and papa cried because of papa's deepest regret for everything that had happened"

"Never once thought in Aqila's head words are only troublesome, only burdens, useless, because it is indeed the duty of the father as a parent"

"I'm sorry" Papa Arya shook her hand

"Well, you don't need an apology, but you want to ask Aqila something, okay?"

"What do you want to ask for?" aqila asked with pale lips

"Please for the pain of Aqila as papa, never again pendam all alone, Aqila's heart was too tired to giggly everything, that's what Aqila used to say?"

"Aqila is just tired, please give Aqila time to be able to give up again" Papa Arya followed Aqila's words that really made her fall into such a deep hole

"Now Aqila, don't you give up?, Aqila is tired? Papa's shoulder is still strong to help Aqila, but please don't give up again this time, Aqila must fight all the pain, don't let her win"

"That's my first request, please don't give again this time can you?" Papa Arya looked at the beautiful netra of his daughter which was like storing deep wounds that were hard to reach

"Aqila said it before, right? Aqila did not dare to promise but effort" Papa Arya nodded rubbing Aqila's head which began to be overgrown with thin hair

"Failed parent who can't understand where his daughter's face comes from the heart, papa failed because he can't be a useful parent for Aqila, papa really failed" for the first time Aqila saw Papa Arya crying like this, whereas at home she more often saw the face of her father smiling when gathered together

"Aqila was also confused with Aqila herself" after being silent for quite a while looking at her papa with eyes that started to turn red, Aqila finally spoke

"Aqila had gotten used to this kind of situation a long time ago, with a face like this and pain that was better pent up, until now Aqila was confused by everything that happened, she said, it's not that Aqila doesn't want to tell a story, but Aqila feels like..." Aqila paused her sentence for a moment

"Foreigners" he said almost noiseless, the last two words spoken by Aqila like making Papa Arya fall into a hole of regret that felt impossible to go back up again

Wounds that are buried and treated from a small cannot be lost or erased just from the shadows, memories are still memories that are remembered as events that have given color to life, he said, either with a beautiful color or a dark color. While Aqila always tried to forget everything about it and tried to accept everything, the memories continued to spin like a movie in her brain.

Accustomed to solitude, making himself quite difficult to open, accustomed to harbouring everything himself makes himself always feel able to handle everything, getting used to a fake face that is always smiling makes it quite difficult to express the real face in front of many people, used to feeling like isolation used to make himself now like a stranger in his family even in conditions like this

"I never lied that my biggest dream was when you started seeing me, caring, and being treated like my other brothers"

"But why when Aqila got it, Aqila felt..."

"Sttt" Papa Arya put his index finger in front of Aqila's lips

"Don't you say that again? Now don't say anything like that, Aqila understand what papa means?" Aqila nodded for a moment then she smiled

"Aqila didn't listen wrong just now that she remembered everything?" Ask without facing the face of the Father

Papa Arya who understood the meaning of the word 'he' then nodded confirming

"Rian said like that, he was even willing to come early to the house to ask Aqila where she was" said Papa Arya

"Aqila wants to be healed for her?" Papa Arya's question made Aqila shake her head

"Why?"

"For now Aqila does not want to take care of matters of the heart with her fellow human beings, in these moments Aqila wants to be closer to Him, who created everything"

"What if Aqila leaves tomorrow but brings nothing?, even though Aqila has lived for almost twenty years" he explained

"Aqila" Papa Arya called out her daughter's name gently

"Remember this fine sentence, which Aqila cannot say, I just took care of it, I was like a stranger, and I will go, remember the three sentences are illegal Aqila said law, I said, understand right?" press Papa Arya on each sentence

"Papa is selfish" said Aqila suddenly