Rashi & Its Bucins
19

“No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.”

♔

It seems, it will be a habit of Yatha sleeping after school. The battery is always low to fall asleep without any effort.

Rashi was not in pain like yesterday even though his body was hot, so he rubbed regularly Yatha's head wishing she had a good dream no matter what in her dimension. Just like yesterday, Candra dropped Sara off first so that there would be space between them.

Rashi agrees, because he doesn't want Sara to know about any other relationship besides their cousins. He'll be jealous. Very, very jealous to the point of, maybe hurting his feelings.

"Ervan shot you too, Rashi?" In silence, Candra asked a rather surprising question.

"No. How did he think?"

"Gue see you hugging."

"Hmm, where is it? Feeling never," Rashi frowned, trying to remember what their true embrace was, "unless it was in the park, I held his back neck."

"Yes, that."

"That's not a hug, Bang Cand."

"Just like that."

Wait, is he jealous?

A Candra Wasa?

Rashi puffed his cheeks hiding a desire to laugh.

That's why it's dangerous for Sara to know how her brother feels about Rashi. She would actually be angry seeing Candra's behavior as different from what she was used to. Sara is very sensitive. He wants his brother to pay attention to other girls, so Candra should pay more attention to him first.

"Ervan would never shoot me, brother."

"It's low or want to snack?"

"Ervan likes my face." Rashi reached out a hand, gently pulling Candra's cheeks for her to take a quick look. "Let's say, for now he's not writhing me like a girl who wants to be dated. She just squirms me as a girl who pantes dikagumin, because I'm beautiful to her. Or Ervan talking something in the back, about wanting my macarin or something?"

No. gabe.

Rashi sure did not, as the young man's eyes were clear. He likes Rashi, not Rashi. She admits Rashi is beautiful, but that's all. Same with Hendra. That person obviously saw Rashi open and acting rather cheaply, but Hendra looked at him to the extent of .. 'oh, the beauty of you, my best friend, keep it up because you are the object of washing my eyes'.

It was different from looking at Xena. Rashi guessed the taste of the couple Hendra is like Xena, looks innocent but not as innocent as Sara. Ervan may be the same. Likes sexy girls even though she has her own type of partner.

Everyone admires and likes Rashi, indeed, but that doesn't mean everyone wants to date Rashi.

Candra held Rashi's hand in front of her lips for a while, then turned it into a grip over the thigh. It was funny to see Candra pouting a little for misunderstanding.

"Lo don't want to date now?" Candra pressed her thumb against Rashi's palm. "I mean, you have no intention of having a boyfriend, anyone, now?"

No. gabe.

Maybe not anymore, forever.

Oh, okay, not so but, it took a very, very long time for Rashi to dare to do that. "No. Not yet. Yatha is a child."

"Ah." Candra blinked as if she remembered something. Then, suddenly he grimaced. "Gue forgot Rasya said something. Really, yeah?"

"What?"

"Bokap lo, give me the will not date, marry me."

Rashi was dumbfounded, swearing to be Dad's son for life, never once did he hear that.

Whatdoes thatmean? "The reason he said?"

"Well, you don't know?"

"No. Absolutely." Rashi frowned before loudly sighing. "Gosh Dad. Never once did Dad talk about my front man. But you're talking to Rasya?"

"Ohya? So you never dated?"

Rashi silent.

"Early? Backstreet mean?"

Yeah, from the time Mom died until Dad caught up with Mom.

Rashi blinked, holding back that tight feeling again. No one will ever be able to treat her guilt, not succeed in being the daughter you want to be. Rashi has always been Mahesa's Rashi. Lying to Dad because of Mahesa. Ranked first in class because of Mahesa. So the sweet and obedient good boy is also because of Mahesa.

"That's how." Rashi shrugged, activating a total acting mode that he was sure worked out. "But it's broken up. Promise don't tell Papa well, brother."

Candra sighed lazily. "Okelah," he said with eyes glancing ogah-ogahan at the window. "So you're not going out?"

If it was Dad's will, Rashi would have to talk about it with Rasya.

Arriving home, Rashi rushes to get off. But before that, he took the time to pull Candra to kiss her lips. "Thank you, Cand."

He smiled with anxiety. "Please ask for something."

"Lo has to go home, okay? People will suspect there is nothing. I'll make apple pie next week, he said you like it."

"Okay, Wife Candidate."

Rashi laughing. Waving until Candra's car is completely invisible to her eyes, only to be turned around to enter the house. Yatha was once again put in her bed to sleep well, went to clean up in the bathroom and went out to prepare dinner.

His brother came back around seven in the evening. He went into his room first to clean up, only then sat on a special dining chair for him. "Where's yatha?"

"Capek seems to be in school all day. I slept in the car yesterday too. But wait for me to wake up. He hasn't eaten." Rashi went to wake his sister.

"Darling, wake up. Yuk, come down with Mama."

The sentence that implied wanting to leave was instantly forcing Yatha to wake up. Circled tightly around Rashi's neck holding her. "Where are you going?"

"Eat dong with Papa. Yatha not a laper? Eat first, dad. Mama's making egg rolls, you know."

Yatha squirmed and muttered faintly. There was not much to complain about when Rashi sat him down next to Rasya who directly rubbed their sister's head. "Where's Yatha chocolate?" ask him, still half sleepy.

Rashi immediately sensed the change in Rasya's expression.

He forget.

"Darling, eat first, yeah. The chocolate will be with Mama."

Thankful he nodded. As a diversion too, Rashi fills the silence by chattering about their activities at school. Yesterday he forgot the story about his son Miss Linda who disturbed Yatha, continuing on the story Yatha already had her own friends in playgroups named April and Arkam. He said, Arkam was also naughty, but he was not hostile towards Yatha, so the boy liked him. Moreover, Arkam also likes Captain America and they play superheroes together.

After eating, Yatha remembered Rasya's promise.

"Mama, Yatha wants some candy."

"Can't be tomorrow? It was malem. Yatha wants to go to sleep first."

"Engh, want some chocolate."

"Later Yatha's tooth hurts you eat chocolate continues."

She whines and cries until Rashi immediately holds her. Patting Yatha's head before bringing her near the stairs.

"Jude, jude. Mama finish the plate first, Yatha wait upstairs. Okay?"

"Promise?"

"Promise dong, honey. Yatha go up first."

Rasya sighed as Yatha disappeared on the second floor. "sorry. You said I forgot. Not pa-pa."

"Don't dong, Papa. He'll think Papa's a liar." Rashi rubbed his arm as it passed through Rasya. "Papa just go in for a break. I'll go to the minimarket and buy Yatha chocolate."

"No need. Let me just. I promise."

"Papa's tired."

"No pa-pa. Just a plate."

Rashi's smile floated. Just let Rasya go out even though he seems lazy to move, while he struggled in the sink cleaning the traces of dinner. Not even ten minutes Rasya had returned, because it was close and he only bought chocolate.

"Thank you, Papa."

Rasya checked Rashi's body temperature after their hands touched. "Can't you really rest? I'm telling you not to move much first. Your heat's not coming down."

"I'm healthy."

"If it's healthy why hot gini?"

Rashi won't talk about it. She darkened her hands before she moved to reassemble the washed dishes. "By the way, Papa, I want it."

Rasya looks willing to rest, but he still pulls the chair again to sit down, responding to Rashi. "What?"

"Abang said I said something to Papa, really?"

Honestly, Rashi did not dare to frankly offend dating.

As he said before, the family is harmonious. They were all close to each other and almost never bothered anything about each other. The perfect family, simply put. But, human perfection is ultimately limited. One of the most flawed of the Rashi family is communication. They used to close each other's personal affairs, until things like sharing feelings were taboo.

Rashi never confided in Dad except for his academics. Even so, at the most he complained to say tired of learning, or the teacher at school reprimanded him. Rashi was never like the people who made people know they were the back of the heart, the agitated relief or whatever it was, except a little bit.

That's one of the reasons why Rashi relies on Mahesa. When Dad became ATM walk—focus meet his financial needs—Mahesa became the emotional side satisfier Rashi.

When Dad seems to let Rashi go to adulthood on his own, Mahesa is there to teach him survival, understand the implicit meanings of life's problems, giving him advice on how one should live life.

But, Rashi also wants to fix that. He now has no Mahesa and only Rasya.

Maybe a little, they can open each other's barriers that have limited each other's personal feelings.

"Candra said that?" Rasya is also awkward. He was not used to being open to each other. He cleared his throat, taking a breath before being able to let out his voice as usual. "Daddy wasiatin you don't date."

"...."

"But I talked to Abah. You can deket same guy. Not pa-pa. Get to know, deket, no pa-pa. But, know me first. I mean, I don't mean possessive. I'm just—"

"Not pa-pa." Rashi touches the back of Rasya's hand, stopping his clumsy rags. They're both the same. But again, they need to open up. "Papa wants to be possessive, protective, whatever it is. I have Papa. Papa take care of me all you want Papa."

Because Rashi is the same.

Rashi understood the feeling of not wanting his brother to get hurt because they only had each other.

There is nothing left for Rashi other than Rasya and Yatha. So he is also possessive and protective of them. Instead, they have the right to do that.

Because they are also afraid of losing.

Rasya let out a weak breath. Wrapping Rashi in a secret-laden embrace. Perhaps deep down, he was a thousand times more afraid than Rashi.

"I miss Dad." Rashi muttered on his shoulder. "That's a damn thing."

Despite not answering, Rasya nodded. Just can't be honest that he feels the same way.

*