Rashi & Its Bucins
2

It is not difficult to have an abortion without having to follow a series of procedures as long as the name Mahesa Mahardika is involved.

Less than an hour—, ten minutes is operation—bayi who has not breathed even in Rashi's stomach was vanished.

In the room where he was allowed to rest, Rashi lay with tears not stopping.

His chest pain acknowledged that there was no hope for the boy to exist.

Rashi doesn't care who Mahesa Mahardika is. A successful businessman who is recognized by the world genius, plunged into the business world when he was ten years old.

Rashi does not care about the history of the first company Mahesa built when she was twelve years old has now been born and he is a super rich young man from a family that is also super duper rich.

Rashi did not care, Mahesa had the father of a coordinate minister, even no matter the father had thirty companies spread throughout Indonesia.

The one Rashi wants is his son.

At least he did not hold it accountable, especially from Mahesa who from the beginning could not do it. She struggles in politics and has dreams too high to be matched by ordinary women— is too ordinary when compared to Mahesa— like Rashi.

Just one.

Let the boy be born and for life Rashi will never let him know his father is Mahesa, who may one day stand up to Bill Gates, or anyone he wants to rival.

Rashi is fed up with Mahesa and her world. He and his dreams that Rashi would never want to pursue.

The door of the VIP room was knocked, but not one bit took the attention of Rashi who was daydreaming looking at the white wall. The cold spray from the air conditioner is not able to freeze the pool of tears.

Unheeded, the door finally opened itself.

Lilan, the perpetrator responsible for taking care of Rashi's abortion procedure less than an hour ago. Not only was the cold-faced sweet Chinese youth, he was accompanied by a long-haired, oversized casual-dressed girl who instantly looked at Rashi with a complicated expression.

“Hei.” Raina, the girl's name, sits down pulling the chair and tries to hold Rashi's cold hand. “Rash. I know you are sad. I don't know what to say but I'm so sorry about all that happened to you.”

Rashi looked at Lilan.

This time it was not only his eyes that were shaking, but also his lips. A sad face that can hurt anyone if it sees it, is meant well for that person.

Finding the girl crying at him, Lilan was confused as to how.

One side, he wants to turn away no matter, but basically he is a human who has not lost his conscience. Rashi may not have seen that, but Raina knew Lilan regretted what happened to Rashi.

“What am I wrong?” Rashi wiped his tears, crying like a child who had nowhere to complain. The doctor advised not to stress and try to control the mind, which Rashi could not even remember how to control themselves due to this pile of sadness. “Lo from the past hated me. My fault is it the same lo, Lilan?”

Lilan was not wrong.

He also had to.

That was the order of his superior, who, although he hated Mahesa, still had to obey for his sake.

Not everyone can be like Rainal, dare to run the risk of refuting Mahesa directly. If Lilan can choose, she doesn't even want to live in Mahesa's world.

But Lilan lives here, trapped in Mahesa's shackles. He has to choose and his priority is not the life of Rashi who was destroyed.

“That's the wrong elo.” Lilan chose not to show her affection, because it was useless. “Why do you beg if you know Mahesa can not accept?”

“Keep I should what?”

“Lo can stop with Mahesa from the beginning, Rashi.” Lilan glanced at Raina. “Lo who choose even if you know Mahesa bastard. Now you're the one who lives my life like always? Bullshit.”

“Junior.” Raina shook her head, gesturing for Lilan to stop.

But, Lilan did not want to obey him.

“Mau lo run and diem-diem bigin lo children even Mahesa will keep chasing you to kill his son. You should have accepted that.”

“Lilan Nahra, shut your fucking mouth.”

“Why? He's my real. My fault martial arts?”

Raina moved, sultry to hear the statement of Lilan who did not know Sikon. Hurriedly pulled the young man's hand over, whispering annoyedly in front of his face. "Lo doesn't need to be with Rashi. It's not time to talk about this that's wrong, Nahra. So please stop talking about that, can't you?"

"Gue's not wrong."

"Lilan—"

"Gue's not wrong, Senior. This is Mahesa's order. I can what? Do you think I want to be the one to take her to the hospital to kill her baby? He needs to know that I'm not wrong. Not me."

It was just then that Raina realized, that Lilan felt very guilty. He wanted Rashi to say he was innocent so that his regrets were slightly reduced.

It's not his fault.

Lilan just obeyed the order, because there were things she had to take care of and Rashi was nobody to her.

If Lilan is guilty, then Raina causes him wrong. Because Raina was the reason Lilan wagged the tail for Mahesa Mahardika.

The girl left Lilan near the red-brick sofa, looking dejectedly at the large flower vase filled with giant aglonema plants. Raina again sat down beside Rashi's bed, wetting her lips full of hesitation.

Rashi knows, Raina is trying for sympathy.

As her fellow girl Mahesa—, there are quite a lot of differences between them, one of which is Raina working for the benefit of Mahesa's plan, while Rashi is only a beloved girl—, he understands a little how it feels to fight their inner selves against Mahesa's decision. Raina also has wounds. He likes Mahesa like an addicted maniac. Her joy makes Raina feel unable to live if not in the neighborhood Mahesa. Feel useless and it is better to die if Mahesa is not around. Even though there is Lilan who is like a protective sister in her life, willing to become Mahesa's pet dog to accompany Raina confined in a cage, Raina continues to run after the shadow of Mahesa.

But he never reached for it.

Mahesa never gives Raina a chance to reach her.

For according to Mahesa, the best position for Raina was this; to be among the uncertainties, to the extent of the shackles so that the barking Lilan could not escape.

All Mahesa girls may experience the same thing. Clashing against the dreams and Mahesa's point of view are too different from theirs.

Even so, was he able to understand, the indescribable pain that made Rashi no longer want to get up? Just a week Dad's gone. Rashi was even able to breathe more easily using his nose that was blocked for days. Then suddenly she found herself pregnant, told by doctors that she was almost two months old.

At first Rashi was stuck, unable to find anything but worry and fear in his heart.

Second-class High School, with no girlfriend at all—for obviously his relationship with Mahesa Mahardika should be a secret—one week after his father's death.

Rashi fell down. But with all his energy forced himself to rise to face the real problem.

The problem he thought could be solved if he pleaded as usual to Mahesa.

"Lo tau," Raina touched her hand again, "gue doesn't know you want to hear this now or not but ... Rashi, how well .. calm yourself lo. You can't have children now, especially his son Mahesa. So, please, calm yourself down."

Rashi knows.

Then, blame her for crying for the baby? Wrong himself feel hurt his son snatched?

In the end, Raina did not understand.

For Raina's comforting efforts, Rashi kept quiet, occasionally nodding.

"Gue wait for you outside, if you want to go home," he said later, conveying the real reason why he came here. Mahesa may have told him to drive Rashi home because he won't be with Lilan, at least now. "Ah, same, I don't know what to say now tell you or not. But Elmira asked for your contact. Somebody wants him to talk. If you can call him before Sunday."

Rashi still needed time to think about anything else. He just kept letting Raina out of the ward, leaving her crying alone again.

The night may have come, Rashi could not figure it out because the window was tightly closed by thick curtains. No matter how long he was alone, the door was knocked.

Maybe Raina again, thought Rashi, because he realized that he had made her wait a very long time.

But it turns out, it wasn't Raina, it was Rainal.

Rashi's nose was still red as he looked up, finding the young man's face stained with bruised marks. Instantly Rashi realizes he is the cause of Rainal getting punished. As Rashi recalled, he was the only one who gave Rashi mercy when everyone seemed to care less about his feelings for the child.

Before Rainal sat down, Rashi first pulled up and hugged him. Back crying sobbing even if it makes the stitches in his stomach hurt.

"Sorry." Rainal muttered at the top of his head. Gently smothering Rashi's fragile body. "It's my fault. Sorry."

Why would it be his fault when he even tried, despite knowing it was useless? Rashi shook his head, rejecting Rainal's apology.

They are strangers.

In fact, Rainal need not be hard to refuse Mahesa's orders just because of the pity Rashi cried.

He did not need to feel guilty, felt a great sin because in the end, they were in a position not able to defy the orders of Mahesa Mahardika.

Rashi cried for a long time, until the phone lying on the table rang. Rainal picks it up for Rashi, finding it a call from Rasya.

Rashi remembers, he only permits a short walk out.

It's only been a week since Dad died. It is not too strange if Rashi makes a discordant sound after crying even though he does not want Rasya to worry.

"Hello?"

There was a moment of silence Rasya heard it. "Where are you?" ask him then, in a subtle tone without any intimidating desire.

"I-i ...." Rashi was blocked by her cries again. The sadness about Dad hasn't even gone away and now he has to live in reality his baby is gone.

It is hypocritical when Rashi is actually also afraid to think about Rasya's sadness if the baby is there. But regardless of anything, Rashi feels many times crushed her baby left before being happy.

Calmed by Rainal's warm embrace, Rashi tries to find his voice to speak. "sorry. I'm gonna go home, okay."

"Where are you?" Rasya's voice was full of worry to hear him speak raucous. "I'll pick it up. Where are you?"

"No, yes. I can go home by myself. I'm the same here." Before he spoke, Rashi first ended it. "Udah, yeah. Uh."

He'll apologize later.

But for now, Rashi has no power to pretend.

He always felt strong after hearing the advice or advice of Mahesh. Now then, what if Mahesa just made it fall into a hole of slump?

When Mom leaves, she comforts Rashi, but then leads him on an endless lie to Dad. When Father left, Rashi was still hanging and asked for Mahesa's presence to strengthen him, even before he sought Rasya to inform him of his departure.

Though because of Mahesa, Rashi Anuja just keeps pretending to be a kind-hearted sweet princess who is behind harassing Dad's trust in her.

And now the baby.

Why has he always been fooling himself?

Rashi has never hated anything more than he hates himself.

"May I be honest?" Rainal suddenly put a hand on the back of his hand. "Gue had a child too."

Rashi turned his head, surprised even though he was still busy crying.

"My ex-girl in Bandung, back then, early in my semester of college; she's pregnant. And she didn't know anything until she realized she had not had a period in nearly two months. As soon as he checks, it turns out to be positive."

Same thing as Rashi.

"Gue is just like you. Confused, stressed, sad, do not know what to do. On the one hand, I'm too excited to have something like that in my life, but on the other hand, I .. don't want to say anything about him." Rainal frowned. Looks complicated storytelling. "Only girls am I afraid. I also can't give clarity, you probably know how my life is. So he killed the boy in the third month, didn't say anything to me."

There will never be anything wrong with the life of the executive of the Mahesa organization. Rainal who looked like a good-looking young man with a warm sweet smile was not. Although Rashi doesn't know much about him, at least he understands that Rainal is too busy coiled in the dark to hope for a bright future.

"Gue was going to say that," Rainal folded his lips, hesitating for a moment, "don't give up. I mean, you should be able to continue your life even if you are sad now. Sori, if I talk even nyebelin."

It would be, if he didn't say it with sincerity and care.

Rashi pulled Rainal's face in front of him, leaving a swab on his cheek before unlicensedly kissing his lips. The young man was silent, shocked to the point of not reacting. But because Rashi kept kissing her, moments later Rainal closed his mouth, returning Rashi's kiss.

"Sorry." Rainal whispered as he finished kissing Rashi's lips. "Sorry."

"Lo's not wrong." Rashi.

"Not that."

"Tetep. Whatever it is, it's not wrong. Mahesa is wrong."

Rainal smiled before his eyes. "Make this one, I'm wrong." His thumb rubbed Rashi's temple, looking down at her forehead. "Sorry, it's rude .. fall in love with you."

Want to not want Rashi's laughter. Just a spontaneous little laugh and it still sounds pathetic, hoarse and poignant. Little did he feel pain in his stomach again, until Rashi replaced the laughter with a thin smile. "That's a right you like who. Including me."

But Rainal nodded. His pair of deep brown eyes were fixed straight at Rashi's bright hazel. "You desire better, Rashi. You're kind, pretty, too good to be true, you're a sweetheart. Too awesome for people like me. It's insolent to like you, for me."

His words even make Rashi feel, Rainal a thousand times better than Mahesa Mahardika.

Who needs the king of the world when that man only treats you as lifeless puppets?

"Then love me." Rashi put Rainal's hand on her cheek. "Please, so rude if it makes you love me."

"Does it make you feel better, Princess?"

"It does."

"Then I'll always love you."

It was real, because Rashi's feelings got better when Rainal hugged him again. Five long minutes may pass until the hug comes off, and Rashi plans to go home now.

"Gue anterin lo go home. Danger of driving alone."

"Okay." Rashi nods in agreement rather than having to go home with Raina and Lilan. "But I'm staying first." Rashi handed over the car keys. "Wait for me in the car."

Maybe he knows what he's doing, or maybe he just wants to make Rashi feel better. Rainal kissed her forehead once more before she came out, leaving Rashi in silence without crying.

Her tears were no longer willing to come out even though the sadness had not lessened in Rashi's heart.

After being sure it was really just him in the room, Rashi turned around to find where the CCTV was installed. "Gue knows you're there. I'm gonna talk to you."

It was silent for a few seconds, until suddenly the voice from the intercom sounded. "Lo sure you want to see me now, Rashi?"

No. gabe. "here, Sa. You're not a coward, are you?"

Sure oes.

It only took one blink of an eye, Mahesa shamelessly or guiltily appeared.

He didn't offend Rashi and Rainal kissing. After all it was not her right either, when she had a thousand girls besides Rashi to kiss, even more. Mahesa pulls up the seat, staring at Rashi to wait for what he wants to say.

When Rashi shut up, Mahesa spoke. "Baby, I know it hurts you so much. But it's the best for you. I promise you anything, anything. So let it go."

Rashi nodded his head. "Gue tau's. I'm not a moron. I was laughing at the feeling."

"That's my baby. Now tell me what do you want from me. I'll give you everything, no matter what. Just tell me."

"You promise?"

Mahesa laughed. Pulling his chair closer, grabbing Rashi—'s palmnot the back of the hand touched by Rainal—fucked with eyes full of confidence as he glanced upwards. "I've told you, what my baby wants, always, my baby gets."

".... Let's break up."

It was never as small as in the heart of Rashi expecting a Mahesa Mahardika to be surprised, let alone react violently to the super mini request.

He knew enough, it was even already incredible when Mahesa raised a little bit of her eyebrows.

He's up. Tucked his hands around Rashi's waist, looking down at his eyes despite not getting close enough. Mahesa won't kiss her before Rashi goes to shower and cleans up the rest of Rainal's kiss. "Baby, are you mad at me?"

"Why should I?" Rashi wanted to cry, but he could endure it by not looking into Mahesa's eyes. "Lo Mahesa Mahardika. You have a dream far, too far for people like I can understand. Lo Mahesa Mahardika, whom all men praise as if you were God, prophet, or whatever. Lo emang not," you do not care about me, you do not have any business with my feelings, you do not want to know about my dreams, is what Rashi wants to say, he said, even though he cut all that down to one, "lo can't have children now."

From her eyes, Mahesa knew Rashi was hiding that anger.

He smiled, instead saying, "It is. I promised to schedule the operation. I have to have a vasectomy so that I don't think I'll ever go back. I also careless do not want to use ***** same lo. I promise you. It won't happen again."

Rashi clasped Mahesa's hand which held her gently. "Let's break up."

"...."

"Let's break up, Sa."

Mahesa. Pulling his hand from Rashi's waist, sitting back like a king on the throne heard his servant's request. "elright. You'll get what you want."

"...."

"But promise me one thing." Mahesa squinted with a smile that she always put on when she felt she was controlling the entire battlefield. "Tetep as Rashi Anuja. Bokap lo, or the baby, do not make you a weak person who destroys himself."

There is no need to do anything but nod.

That was the plan.

Precisely because of that, Rashi will try to escape from the shackles of Mahesa.

Even if he felt it would not work.

"Ah, one more Rashi." When Rashi walked away, Mahesa suddenly spoke. "As for Rainal, he was beaten not because of lo, but because he was nontrivial. Don't feel guilty."

Rashi. "Lo's not mad I'm with Rainal?"

"Why should? He's loved you from the beginning I've known you to them." Mahesa casually explained. "Lo knows that among other executives, he's the most normal. That's real love for you. Just like him, if you want."

Why was it that when he finished making a big mistake, Mahesa still knew how to be honorable? And why is it that even though he took everything away, making Rashi ruined, it's still hard for Rashi to hate this guy?

Instead, Rashi hates himself more.

"Mahesa."

"Tell me, Princess."

"Gue wants out of school."

Today, Rashi attends a well-known private high school run by the family of Mahesa's best friend, Narendra. It was normally too expensive for Rashi even though he was not from the lower middle class. But Mahesa outsmarted him, making it seem as if Rashi got a scholarship for Dad to believe, and behind him was the one who financed Rashi's school.

It's not something like being a burden. Mahesa did it on purpose so that Rashi could be placed in the environment she wanted. "Gue's moving to Candra's school with Sara."

"Maespati?" Mahesa frowned. "Gue's got shares there."

"Don't bother me anymore."

"...."

"We broke up. I don't think my school paid you."

"Filen." Mahesa smiled a little. "Gue was sure my Rashi would never bother me."

Rashi turned around leaving him without a reply.

Secretly know that Mahesa's speech signifies possession.

They broke up doesn't mean Rashi stopped being Mahesa's.

Status is not important.

Because as long as Rashi becomes Rashi Anuja, it will always belong to Mahesa Mahardika.

As far as he goes he runs.

...*...