Rashi & Its Bucins
20

“It's just ... the life that I want to live.”

Rashi Anuja

♔

Rashi has no memory of what Raina told him in the hospital that day.

He did not pay much attention because he was busy lamenting the loss. Rashi recalls when on Sunday a golden black wedding invitation came in Elmira's name.

Straight away Rashi pleasures tell Rasya.

Friends— can be said to be close friends even though they are not as often as mutual contact—which several years under Rasya was arguably the most anti-wedding problems. Not Elmira women who reject the statement of women must be married if they want to be happy. It's just, Elmira always said she was too mentally ill to have a relationship like romance.

Who is this lucky guy named Juanda Adiraja?

As far as Rashi is concerned, there is no Juanda name that Elmira mentioned to her four months ago.

"I already know. Take the photographer from my studio."

Rashi. "Seriously? When did Papa know?"

Cuek just played with Yatha, Rasya said, "A few days before Dad left. It just so happened that Elmira met me in Bandung, so said she would propose about two weeks later. I'm not telling you, 'cause I think you know."

So that's why Raina told me to call before Sunday.

Rashi forgot for two months. He almost didn't know his best friend was getting married.

Sitting smilingly reading the invitation, Rashi remembered how Adinda Elmira Harianto was. She's a female with a super double face jutek—when her heart is super duper soft—who strayed because of her wound.

Rashi knows him because of Mahesa.

There is one habit of Mahesa that until now certainly has not stopped. He likes broken women. In a sense, women who keep wounds either because their families are messy, once abused to leave mental scars, the point is generally abnormal because of a problem in their minds.

Like Rashi, who had almost committed suicide because of Mother, and Elmira who was 'less sane' because of being left behind by her father and mother.

The Elmira family's problems are strange, indeed. Because first, after he was the last child born, a problem occurred and his mother left the father and his four children. Soon his father got married, had a son, and then suddenly left again. Not a year later, it was her father Elmira's turn to leave the five of them under the aunty's care.

It was there that Elmira felt mentally ill.

She couldn't survive in her aunt's harsh environment— in the sense of being too wild in understanding mental issues. Meanwhile, his step-sister is often made moons because he is a stepson, plus his mother left. In essence, Elmira does not like her stepbrother to be treated so because they always feel offended, if they start talking about reasons.

Y'all know? Basically Elmira the last child is arguably the cause of her mother also leaving, so she is sensitive to hear her half-sister insulted as the reason their family is in a mess.

Years of patience in the neighborhood made Elmira grow hard.

He hates a lot of things about himself and other people, even though he actually has a good side. He's a learned man and he's a big advocate of mental health, but at the same time, he doesn't want to recover from his mental illness because he thinks he's crazy, at least it can destroy itself and its parents—maybe, it needs to be underlined.

Mahesa is very interested in Elmira's background. He tells Rashi that Elmira has interesting potential to dig. But for some reason, a moment later, Mahesa said again, Elmira has no talent for being. The potential is limited, then Mahesa just let go of Elmira.

He always does that when the guy's useless.

After that, Rashi and Elmira often talk to curse Mahesa.

"Why smile? Want to get married too?"

Rashi laughed amusedly at her brother's nosy speech. "Same Candra?"

"Of all, Rashi, must be the bedbug you call?" Rasya. "You want to come too?"

"Obviously dong, Papa. El's wedding I'm not leaving." Rashi immediately thought about what clothes he should wear. "Jeez, two more weeks, you know. Later I come out the same Bang Cand can, Papa? Not too late next week."

Yatha's ear has a sensor that Rashi's about to leave. The boy immediately left his toy, went to hug Rashi's thigh possessively. "Where do you want to run?"

Rashi did want to invite him—mustahil also want to be left with Rasya—so he looked down, kissed Yatha's nose. "Go buy clothes with Mama, Dad. We're going to El's wedding."

"Let me be the temenin. I also want to buy shoes."

"Ohya?"

Rashi agrees.

Without even thinking about the afternoon before the sky was completely dark, suddenly came a package that delivered a black-and-gold box as well, with a large M at the top.

It's not hard for Rashi to know it's a package from Mahesa.

"Who, Rashi?"

Rashi hurriedly closed the door. "This, a shipment from my friend in Asgard. I think the stuff that's left in the locker."

Yatha has started to get along with Rasya, even if it is still a pity without Rashi. Maybe because he always calms Yatha down every time she cries over Dad, they become connected to each other.

He is fine left for a while for Rashi to climb up and open the box.

Her eyes were staring at a yellow copper brocade dress three inches above the knees. The bottom expands, fluttering in every movement while the tops intersect low, tight in the abdomen and chest with a pair of small straps on the shoulders. This is indeed a sexy dress, but the model is not Rashi's favorite and Mahesa knows very well that.

To think he forgot or chose wrong is impossible, because there is Amel who records every thing behind Mahesa so that there is no mistake.

He wants Rashi to wear this at El's wedding.

Do not even forget to include a child's clothes, for Yatha, as well as shoes, earrings and hair ornaments.

That person knew very well Rashi would not refuse.

Because he is also the one who taught Rashi not to like to reject the goodness of people, there would be hidden intentions in it or not. The nature of love and affection that Rashi forms is ingrained, too flowing in his blood that will not say not once this from Mahesa.

"Yamaoooo!"

Rashi flinched, spontaneously throwing the dress and putting it in a hurry into the box without being folded. He was afraid of Rasya coming, but fortunately only Yatha. "Mama champ why run, anyway? How fell?"

"It hurts!" Yatha exclaimed cheerfully as Rashi carried her. "Said Papa, we eat out. Mama same Yatha change clothes."

Rashi's smile develops lightly as his lips kiss Yatha's delicate cheeks. "Hmmmm, I don't think so. Mama just wanted to have a shirt."

Yatha tilted her face, instantly grasping the meaning not to go but the confusion of digesting. It seemed like he had Rasya promise something until he kept asking why, impressed to hope they would just leave.

"Sorry, Papa. I guess it didn't. I just saw Yatha's dress upstairs. It has never been made, so it's a shame to buy it again. The color matches the theme as well."

It was not difficult for Rasya to say yasudah, because for him it must be more heaven sitting at home than bothering to go out, driving for long, the way to the mall, the way to the, looking for clothes—especially for women like Rashi—when tomorrow he works too.

After eating and making sure everything was neat in the kitchen, Rashi went up and took Yatha to bed.

She had gotten used to sleeping under nine, so Rashi just patted and sang to her, in an instant Yatha slept.

Rashi watched intensely his sister's face as she held back the biting sadness.

It's hard to pretend well without Mahesa.

It was crazy to think of him again after all that Mahesa had done to him, but the hatred and sorrow that Rashi had stored was not as big as the longing in his heart.

Why would he do that? Make what? Sending clothes that hinted he was still watching over Rashi's entire activities, as if they were still lovers.

No, what is the importance of a lover to Mahesa?

Don't think about him.

Yatha and Rasya need their holy Rashi Anuja, not the Handmade Dirty Mahesa.

As much as Rashi convinced himself, but just the opposite, looking for an impingement because aware of the wound in his heart was too painful.

Rashi has no friends to confide in after being with Mahesa. There she's. Friends, friends, lovers, father, mother, all the roles Rashi needed were played by Mahesa until there was almost no gap left in her.

Rashi stared repeatedly at the contents of his phone, mostly chat from those who tried to be his friend, acquaintance, lover. Only Xena, Ervan, and Hendra could Rashi truly be familiar. But they haven't gotten that close to Rashi.

Even if Hendra knows about her, it doesn't mean all the things Rashi can share with that person. Candra is not the one she deserves to be careful about her heartache thinking about her ex.

Finally, Rashi checks Rainal's profile.

He's the only one Rashi can think of now.

Shortly after the call rang, Rashi heard a missed call. He rubbed Yatha's back to sleep more soundly and did not hear her Mama being sad here.

"Rashi?"

"Hi." Rashi tried to say hello cheerfully. "Again what? I'm not bothering you, am I?"

"Ah, no. I just want to get home from college."

"Um, glad to hear that. I ate, right?"

Rainal laughed a little. "Unfortunately not."

"If you're here, I'm sure I'm masakin."

"Ohya? Anything?"

"Lo's favorite. What's your favorite dinner?"

"Your lips, maybe?"

Just spontaneously Rashi chuckled. Didn't really think Rainal could tease her through that nosy sweet sentence. He always looks moody, until Rashi thinks maybe Rainal is not too fond of jokes in his life.

"By the way, Rail, you know Elmira doesn't want to get married?"

"Elmira?"

"Oh, don't you know Elmira?"

"Oilmira? I tau. He was a senior advisor in Padjadjaran. Super duper chicks are fierce, aren't they?"

"Not wrong. El if you hit a cat can be sad for a month."

"But he's fierce."

"Banget, anyway. Because firmly. Even if he's funny to me." Rashi took a deep breath, feeling his chest more relieved now. Talking to Rainal was quite influential. It feels better. "I don't think he's married?"

"Who's the guy?"

"Hm? Her name is Juanda Adiraja. I never heard Elmira mention him. So wonder what it's like."

"Why curious?"

Rashi chuckles. "Lo doesn't know Elmira means anything." Because according to Rashi, who knew in the girl would think, getting married is the furthest thing from Elmira's list of life goals. Well, basically everyone wants to get married, with their own reasons and goals. But Elmira was too hurt to let herself think that way.

Seeing him change in less than two months, of course Rashi was curious as to what the candidate was.

Impossible match. Elmira prefers suicide rather than following people's will, especially as opposed to her principles of life.

"Room."

Rashi's soft voice calling out to him affected the tone of voice Rainal replied. "Hm?" Only limited to murmuring, but very thick will be the impression of love and attention.

"Have you ever had a wedding dream?"

This is one of the ways Rashi talks about Mahesa without having to mention her name directly. Because in Mahesa's life, marriage is more impossible—at least for him—rather than rule the whole world and become the strongest king of land and sea.

Mahesa told Rashi. Her biggest dream above dreams rule the world, it's one.

Dead singles. Without a wife, especially children.

Even so, Mahesa called it a dream instead of a destination, surely because she herself gave room for the possibility of marriage. He said the world of politics and business is too complicated for a person to stand holding absolute personal feelings. At times he could need a marriage, even if he does it now to promote popularity, increase profits, or form family relationships with other large conglomerates.

It was too far away and much Mahesa saw to understand her point of view.

"Wedding?" Rainal's voice turned doubtful. Of course, even for him, it was hard to reach. The average person seems to think, too dirty and full of mud to love, let alone form a sacred relationship with someone.

"You know what? I have a wedding dream." That is, until whenever he and Mahesa can not be together.

Their dreams collide.

"Hmmm, not a wedding dream. Life after marriage, more precisely. One of the things I love most is that, maybe at thirty, I walk the same park as my little family. The smallest one carried with his father, above the smallest one in my sling. The other two streets are next to me. I don't know what I'll do next. Maybe we'll sit under a tree, in a meadow, by a lake, in a place that holds our minds, while I watch the kids play along with each other. It's just, I don't know. It's just .. the life that I want to live. You know?"

Samar sounded Rainal laughing. Not the kind of amused laughter or laughing or confusion. It was the kind of weak laughter that he himself might not understand for what. "Beautiful dream for a beautiful girl."

"Oh, come on. How about your? Just tell me anything."

"Well, mine is .. hmmm .. marry you?"

Nothing, dad.

Rainal is not Rashi who is still trying to positively look at the world. At the beginning, he had shown an attitude of disbelief until apologizing and feeling insolent had liked.

"Be careful with your wishes, Boy. Rasya has high standards for diamonds."

This time, Rainal's laughter was more sincere. "Lo's even more valuable, Princess."

*