Still Loving Ex
Goodbye, Nala
The POV Roger
I looked at Lisa who was asleep with a thick blanket, look tired face after wrestling on the bed. Slowly moving from the bed to the balcony of the hotel to smoke, time has shown early morning, the streets look quiet, only a few people are still passing by. My net sharply pointed at the cigarette I was holding.
"Darling, you're smoking less to be healthy!"
"Ready, baby!"
"So that if we have a family, at home without any cigarette pollution"
"Make the health of your children and you"
"We, baby!"
Nala is very concerned about health, Nala who makes me gradually stop smoking, although during the distance still often smoking, was caught because there were colleagues who posted photos crowded, unfortunately I was holding a cigarette. It made Nala angry because I always told her I'd quit smoking.
I slapped my cheek to realize that Nala was gone and now that Lisa was there, Lisa gave what Nala never gave, as a man, of course, very happy even though on the other hand there is a great sense of guilt. Can I love Lisa? was it not love but lust? but it's impossible to leave Lisa, especially with what we've done.
[Hello, Nala. Thank you for three years, thank you for taking good care of me, always supporting my career tirelessly. Nala, I'm a bad man! go as far as I can so that you don't see my face again.]
[Nala, a thousand pardons will not restore your heart, nor do I deserve to be forgiven. You need to know, you will be my most beautiful love until the end, a lifetime will never forget you]
[Nala, for the last time, please take me out of your life, scold me, don't suppress your anger!]
I sent the message so several times because my heart and mind were already foggy. No matter what I reply or not, I just want to reveal what I feel.
[Maki-maki will not heal. I was sick, and in the end you were sick, we were both sick. Fight each other to recover on different paths. Take care of Lisa, be happy.]
[I don't have to kick you out because you've been gone since you found Lisa, we just need to say goodbye to each other. Good bye, Roger!]
[Goodbye, Nala!]
The body shakes violently, the chest hurts so much that it falls from the chair that is being occupied. Tears flowed, it felt like screaming as loud as possible, to calm me hugging my own body, like Nala's message, if you feel unsettled or sad and no one hugs then hug yourself.
***
Lisa's hand shake woke up my sleep, apparently all night sleeping on the floor. Immediately move on without caring about it, the body feels very sticky. The cold water of the morning was refreshing and made aware of the situation, Lisa without permission to go inside while hugging tightly, I spontaneously release her hands with full of emotion.
"Don't bother me, you can't !!" Jerked him.
"You why the hell? last night was fine!" Lisa is emotionally disturbed.
"If I'm on the brakes without a breath, without speaking, the sign will not be disturbed!" Looked at his face sharply.
"Can't you be an understanding couple?" My welcome.
"I'm sorry, I just want you to always be like me" she said.
"I've chosen you, I've ruined my relationship with Nala, we're getting engaged, and getting married" I'm trying to explain.
"A second, do you understand my feelings? I'm fighting for you, please don't demand this much!" My welcome is firm.
"I'm sorry, I'm just afraid that you're leaving me and turning Nala around"
***
The engagement day has arrived, lavishly held by Lisa's family, they are so happy to welcome me. My family was in attendance, this engagement was the second meeting because of the distance that separated. Lisa was wearing a Navy kebaya, one of Nala's favorite colors, even we had time to buy a cloth, but unfortunately we have finished our relationship, somehow the state of the cloth, may have been burned.
"Lisa Septiana Aryanti bint Masduri Efendi, will you marry me?" I asked with full concentration so as not to mention the wrong name.
" By the blessing of Mama and Papa, I accept you, Roger Arya Mandar as my future husband!" Reply steady.
Family and invited guests applauded happily, our mother put each other rings on the fingers, not forgetting to pose for photos. My face looks happy but not with my heart, it feels empty, but somehow I have to try to be completely happy, this is what I choose.
The engagement was over, everything was going well, our family was busy chatting especially parents. Mama looks relieved because I am engaged, mama who used to love Nala very much because she always replaced me when the family situation was precarious, now changed like she did not like it and assume Nala left when she graduated from college, but it's not like that.
"Beauty this yes rather than Nala, he is evil, want because you are a SOE employee!"
"Not to be discussed, ma. That's the past!" My firmness.
"Mama commented on her Facebook, let people know how rotten she is" Mama Chirped.
"Ma, please don't spoil this event yes, please respect me as your child" I reaffirmed.
"Ok, baby" Mama's response
The mind is not bad, why did you have to go that far? Nala must have endured the embarrassment and must have been surprised because she is not a typical person who often sees social media. I secretly borrowed my mom's phone and looked at her Facebook account.
[Thank you, I broke up Roger after college] Mom commented on Nala's photo post wearing a dress
[Sorry, ma'am, it's not a fiancee but a condition] Nala responded.
The guilt becomes more, wanting to scold mama for her behavior. The silent nala was the one who was blamed a lot, strangely she remained silent, did not clarify the end of our relationship and did not defend herself. There is still an angelic hearted man, when he has the choice to be angry, then he still chooses to be kind, even though his heart is very broken. Mama, who had been sick many times, Nala helped to keep him in the hospital, all because I was away.
"Son, Nala will be much happier, you should be happy too" said papa lirih.
"Paaa" I hugged her tightly.
"The father has considered Nala like his own child, papa wants to remain secretive even though you are not together, but Nala refuses to keep your partner's feelings" recalls papa with a few teary eyes.
"Ikhlasan Nala yes, son! Papa asked for help" continued Papa again.
"Pa, I've been trying to make it happen but it's hard!" My refutation is considered not to be.
"The point is, if you are not sincere then it will make it difficult, he has the right to open a new page. Papa knows for three years he never had another girlfriend, he's always waiting for you to come home, so he has a plan to stay!"
Papa's story is very heartbreaking, many good things that I have not cared about, the shortcomings that I have always seen. She is not a woman who is a lot of whims or splashy, she is more quiet and graceful, in contrast to the lively and cheerful Lisa, it is a pity that I have dark eyes.
The great hope of this special day is that Nala I will, I let her go far from heart and mind in order to have a much greater happiness. All the crimes that I have committed, will be ready to be accounted for.
"Honey, let's step together to strengthen each other" Lisa's voice broke the daydream
"Hmmm.."
Lisa clasped my hand tightly, led to the family so as not to be alone, There was a faint Nala standing in the yard, her smile looked sweet, she waved her hand. My imagination is too high, Nala can't be here.