The Crown
Disillusioned

"Today I can't take Iksia to school, ask for an anther driver. There's work in the gallery."

This is the beginning of him avoiding me. Keep your distance as I ask.

"Well, I'm leaving first, yeah. The car's coming, isn't it?"

"Udah. Be careful on the road, son."

I left after kissing Mama and Papa's hands.

"It." Arzhan gave me two pieces of red money. Not wanting to arouse suspicion on them, inevitably I accepted it.

"Thank you, Brother." I try to look cheerful.

Arriving at school, Hilda greeted me in class. He said our book was missing.

"Well, how, can you? it's usually safe, right?"

"Yes. Where accounting tasks have not been done."

"Campus! I forgot too."

"Why are your hands, why angets?" hilda asked as she held my hand.

"Times?"

Hilda nodded.

"Forget over. Now we have to do the job first."

"How'd it go? Our book people are missing."

"necessarily too. Oh my god, fuck today."

Hilda and I were still panicking because our accounting teacher was notoriously fierce, the school bell rang. Signs we should get in.

"Out you! Run around the ceremonial court 15 times." Siska's mother screamed so loudly when she found out that I, Hilda and the other three people were not doing the work.

This morning the sun was shining so bright. It feels warm even though it feels hot for a long time. Three, four, five laps I still feel all right. However, when it was only half of the seventh round I felt very dizzy.

The world is spinning, and the eyes are twitching. Until I felt everything was dark.

I smell something unusual. Feels stinging. However, it is still acceptable to the nose. There is pain in the right side of the head. It feels sore and tingling.

I tried to open my eyes, but it was closed again because of the glare from the light of the lamp.

"Ma ... Pah ...." I hope someone hears my voice.

"Dear."

That's Papah.

"Pah .. glare," I said.

"Open his eyes. The lights are already blocked."

Even though I haven't opened my eyes, I feel dim from the first one feeling bright. Sure enough, Papah Indra had already blocked the light of the lamp with his hand.

"Father." My voice is soft.

"Yes, honey." He rubbed my head and cheek. His eyes looked worried.

Oh God. She loves me so much and certainly my mom. Would I betray his love by loving his own son?

"Don't cry, there's papa here." He hugged me tenderly.

"It hurts, Pah." The more he loves me, the more he wants me to show him the pampered feeling I've never done to anyone. Including Mom. How can I indulge when Mama was busy making a living for both of our lives back then.

"It hurts, Pah." I whine.

"Before, Papa call his doctor first."

"Don't." I pressed Papa Indra's back so as not to let go of her embrace. "Don't go, Pah."

Papa sounded like a little laugh. "Why?" tanyakanya.

"Fear. It's in the hospital, right? Iksia's afraid there's a nagging nurse."

Papa Indra's laughter boomed. She let go of his embrace because she didn't want to make me uncomfortable with her voice.

"It's just a movie, son. Where is there in the real world sister ngesot. I'll give him a wheelchair so he's not tired of squeaking on the floor."

This time it was my turn to laugh. However, I immediately muffled it because every time I laughed, I twitched my head.

"What's up, anyway? Both of them storm."

"Mah." Mah."

"Thank God you are conscious, son. How are you feeling now? is anyone sick?"

"I'm happy, Mah."

"Happy? How can you be happy, your people passed out at school. Why did he faint, anyway? You're having breakfast this morning. If anything is felt, you tell us immediately. Don't miss school. Gini, nih, so. Make Mama and Papa scared."

"Well, Mah. Okay, dong. His son realized that he had been scolded. If you faint again, how about?"

Hearing Papa Indra's words, I closed my eyes again and pretended to faint.

"That's true. Iksia fainted again" said Papa teasing Mama.

"Belvin. Yuk, Dad. We just go home."

"Don't!" I opened my eyes immediately. Mom and Dad laughed. Followed by me who laughed happily to see Papa Indra and Mama laughing while occasionally hitting Papa Indra spoiled.

Two days I was hospitalized. Many of my friends and relatives have visited, including Fateeh's girlfriend.

Did ya? Is that just an excuse for him not to see me? Should he have gone so far?

The next few days I almost never even met him. In the morning, he had already left before us all. At night, he came home last.

It's been more than two weeks that I haven't seen her in such a close distance. I only saw her back as I came down the stairs in the morning. I only heard the sound of her feet as she passed through my room and went towards her room.

There was an incredible sense of sadness and uneasiness. The fear of not seeing each other for too long exceeded the fear that my parents would know how we both felt.

This made me lose focus on a variety of things, including when we ate. I do not like garlic, but intentionally eat it and make me vomit.

"Why are you, anyway? How long have you been watching, you're like a dazed man? Are you having a problem?" asked Mom when we were in my room.

"No, Mah."

"Certain why? You ate garlic. School went wrong in costume yesterday. Don't you think your mom doesn't monitor you at school. Your homeroom teacher said you've been in law a lot lately. What was? Why, Iksia? answer Mama!"

"But really, Mah. I'm not there's nothing. I just ... just ...."

"What only? What are we lacking, Iksia? Papa Indra has given everything for you. Continues to? Why did you make the same mistakes and repeat in school." Mama's voice was rising.

Reasonable. I have been punished several times for not doing my job. My daily re-value has also plummeted.

"Already, Mah." Papa Indra and Fateeh came to the room. They must have been scared after hearing Mama's loud voice.

"What's up, Pah? He, he's dropped in value. Not only that, he was also punished and I was called to school because of that."

"What?"

"Why? You surprised? Yes, mama was called your homeroom two days ago. Papa forbade mom to tell you."

"I'm sorry, Mah." I started to shed tears.

"Is it because you feel you have everything, so now you're going. You feel like a princess, do you? If you know you like this, mama would rather we live together. Mama better live banging own bones even though humiliated many people. Is that what you want?!"

"No, Mah." I immediately rested at the feet of Mama who was standing with her waist.

"Sorry, Mama. I'm really sorry. Iksia doesn't want mama to go back to work just yet. Iksia wants mom to be happy with Papa Indra. Iksia promised never to make a mistake again, Ma. Sorry, Mama."

"Mama's disappointed in you." Mama threw my body off her leg and she immediately went out of the room. I chased on all fours while crying.

"Mrs ...." I immediately stood up to catch up to his accelerating pace.

"Mama, wait."

Bruk!

I collided with someone.

"Si, what's wrong?"

No matter what Arzhan was, I immediately removed his hand from my body to go after Mama.

"Ma, open. Mama!" My crying is getting hysterical. Many times I banged on the door of his room, still not producing any results.

"Darling, not the door." Papa persuaded.

"Ma ... Iksia apologized. Really, Iksia wants to change. Iksia promise, Ma. Please forgive Iksia. Mama, Iksia is tired of crying. Please, Ma."

I've been sitting in front of Mama's bedroom door for almost half an hour, but the door seemed reluctant to open.

"Mama, if Iksia is a burden to Mama, Iksia apologizes."

"Don't sit on the floor, cold." Arzhan grabbed my shoulder. That smell, that hand.

I miss you, Brother.

My crying broke again.

"Sssst, already. Don't cry anymore. Let your mom calm down. Tomorrow we talk again, okay?''

I nodded my head.

"Sleep, yeah, son." Papa rubbed my head. With Fateeh.

"Company your sister until she sleeps, Arzhan."

"Yes, Pah."

Arriving in front of the room, I asked Arzhan not to come inside.

"I'm with you until you're really asleep."

"Stay unconcerned with me, Brother."

"meaning?"

I wiped away the tears that were still dripping.

"Si, I was really out of town because there was an exhibition."

"I didn't ask for an explanation."

"Activity ...."

"Please, keep assuming I've never been in this house."

"Ik-"

He had not yet said anything, I immediately closed the door.

It probably has to be like this. Not for whose good.