The Crown
Hijra

Memories go back to the past. At that time, the father who likes to get drunk and gamble continues to make Mama as a dairy cow. Forced to work just for his own pleasure.

Once upon a night of heavy rain, my father came with a woman. They were both drunk. Which strong wife sees all that, including Mama. At that time with anger Mama drove away the woman who came with father. But what happened scared me so much. I'm angry at Mama. Hit and trample him like a doormat.

I did not accept my mother needed to be rough, carrying wood and then hit my father's body.I end up in the cardboard with my mouth duct tape, my legs tied. While Mama was thrown out by dad. Dad doesn't care in the rain and lots of lightning.

I feel claustrophobic. I freaked. Imagining how Mama was outside in the rain and at night, made me even more claustrophobic and unconscious.

Until now I was very afraid of the darkness and the narrow room. I was afraid to see duct tape and rope.

But now she was alone in that narrow hole. Wrapped in white cloth and lying down with pillows made of rounded clay.

They buried it with the soil they trampled, forming a small elongated mound.

we cried while putting flowers on it. Sodaras and distant relatives came to take Mama to her final resting place.

When it's over, and all of Papa's friends or co-workers come home, our extended family is still there gathering here. Papa wants to make an announcement. I don't know what it is.

"Before I would like to express my gratitude to you who have been willing to come to take my wife to her final resting place. I'm here on behalf of my wife to announce something, it might come as a bit of a surprise but this is the final message of the deceased and I will grant you whatever the risk is."

We all fell silent while wiping away the rest of the tears.

"My wife wants her daughter, which means my daughter, too, to marry my eldest son, Arzhan."

The deg!

Tumultuous. Everyone is talking to their own opinions. While I could only be silent not believing what Papa said.

"We can't trust our daughter to another man. That's why my wife and I want her guarded by Arzhan."

"Maybe your wife wants her son to get a bigger inheritance. That's why he married his daughter. Guarantee that he does not lack and go back to being poor."

With a calm smile Papa replied, "Not married to Arzhan, Iksia will inherit my company. He is very competent and can be trusted to run the company. Look at Arzhan, he prefers art. While Fateeh he prefers medical. Iksia, he managed to increase the profits of the company when he was just working at the time."

"Indra, you forgot that he's just a stepson. There are still many of your nephews who are better than Iksia. My son graduated overseas, why are you entrusting the company to a woman who never even went to college."

He's Papa's first brother. Name's Rastuti.

"I mean Adam's brother? He's my nephew, but he has a father. So, why should I be in charge of it?"

"Bad. For the sake of your stepson, you ignored brother? What's wrong with you now, Indra?"

"Left or not, he's still my son. While the older children are the children of the father. Obviously, my duties are different. After all, I'm not currently in discussion but am making an announcement."

The man went away with a commute, followed by his three children and her husband.

"I can understand, nor do I care about legacy and company matters. But why did Brother marry Arzhan to Iksia? What do people say later?" ask Uncle Radit, Papa's youngest brother.

"They loved each other long before I married her mother Iksia."

"What about Alea? Did she agree to her husband remarry?"

"I'm okay, Uncle. This is my mom's last will. I will follow obediently."

From the look on their faces, there was a sense of disagreement over what Papa said. It was just that they did not dare to reveal it. They dispersed themselves with various expressions. Some glanced at me cynically, some grumbled, and some made heavy breaths.

"Bah, what's wrong? Why announce this here? Why didn't you say it before?"

"When you have to say, you don't have time to lose your mother. Papa deliberately announced it in front of the mama's meal so that Mama could see and feel calm. His wish has already been fulfilled and will papa protect Iksia in any way."

My sorrow increased, the tears that had begun to dry now wet my cheeks again.

After forty days of my mother's departure, Arzhan and I were married. It is done simply and only attended by relatives and close friends.

Every now and then I glanced at Alea, I was afraid that she would hurt her heart. Although I won't be hurt by love, I'm afraid of her pride being hurt. However, to her surprise was that she dared to bring her son's biological father to this event.

They look ordinary, maybe because they don't want to be seen by many people. Merely, while everyone was busy with their respective activities, Alea and her lover quietly left. They returned after more than an hour. Alea's makeup changed and was not as neat as before.

"Don't mind. Just focus on our marriage. After Alea's son is born, you will be my only wife."

I looked at Arzhan. She smiled sweetly. A smile I used to see and one I never saw after coming back from hiding.

I got the old Arzhan, his warmth, his smile, his gentleness, and everything I've always missed.

The world is full of twists and turns. Not everything we want we can get. Sometimes, something we can get after losing something else.

I still remember what happened in the hospital that day.

"Mama never hated you, son. The disappointment you receive is not worth the love you have for you. Son, if something you want you already got it means something else will leave you. No need to feel guilty, you have to be happy no matter what happens. Do not continue to feel that you are dirty, all humans have sinned, but that is not the main point. All we have to do is fix ourselves. Forgiven or not, it's none of our business. What matters is that we've tried. I hope you will be my helper in the Hereafter."

Now I am trying to be a better person. Hopefully I can survive and not just for a moment because I want to live out Mama's will. Aamiins.

"Darling ...." Arzhan hugged me from behind as I stood in front of the large mirror.

"Do I look pretty?"

"Hmm, of course. Without or with a hijab, for me there is no other woman more beautiful than you."

I smiled hearing the noise from my husband.