The Crown
One fact was revealed

Going for a walk with my son and husband was a dream of mine for a long time. Breathe the air of freedom with laughter full of joyful baby. Now, it has finally been achieved as well.

Not wanting this happiness to be disturbed, I decided not to turn on my phone during the holidays. That's my main condition for Arzhan.

In order not to make them anxious, Fateeh and Papa had already confirmed from the beginning that I would leave without turning on the phone, if there was a need or an emergency incident, I would contact them first.

Three days of spending time without the jet really made our time not wasted. The closeness is increasingly felt, focusing on the main goal, namely family holidays.

"It's intentional to have a longer time on the road" Arzhan replied as I asked him why he didn't use the airway. Arzhan chose to rent a tour train car.

We didn't even bring my nurse or my personal servant. I want to take care of my kids and husband alone. There was only Mr. Raga and two other body guards accompanying.

One carriage filled with only seven passengers made us feel comfortable and free. Whether it's when you leave or when you go home like now.

"Not on a cell phone, Mom?" I asked while leaning my head on Arzhan's shoulder. Sakya and Chana have fallen asleep due to exhaustion.

"Later. I'm afraid our comfort will be disturbed."

"Maas ...."

"Hm."

"Wrong, if I don't like you with Alea? I think it's not normal, yeah. Alea was your first wife. Religion and country, she is your legal wife. Shouldn't he be the one who feels like it?"

"Jealousy is natural. After all, our relationship is really based on feelings. It's different from my relationship with Alea."

Mas, you guys never, anyway, have sex if your marriage is forced.

Of course the question was only in my heart, there was not the slightest bit of courage for me to ask directly.

"Why do you see me like that? Is there something you want to ask again?"

"Eh? No, kok. There's nothing."

Arzhan looked at me.

"Do you want to know about our relationship?"

"No. Where could that be. It's your personal business, no matter how deep we feel, your relationship with Alea is a personal realm. I don't have the right to interfere."

Arzhan and I stared at each other.

"We did what husband and wife should do, Iksia. So, never guess and think things too far. It's just, I did that really out of obligation. Or maybe it's because I'm a normal guy. Is not such a thing also the main wholeness of man?"

Nothing was wrong, but I felt wrong. Arzhan's statement incised a wound and slightly damaged the happiness I should feel.

Why should it be explained? Didn't I ask to keep my mouth shut?

I don't know how to express my feelings right now. It feels hot, tight and painful like being stabbed repeatedly.

"Dear." Arzhan withdrew my hand as I intended to move to another chair.

"I told you I didn't want to know. I'm also a grown woman who understands what a real husband and wife is. It doesn't have to be clear, right?"

Arzhan lowered his head.

I know, I was curious. How a husband and wife relationship is based without love. But, I realized that humans have inner needs. It doesn't have to be explained, right?

People like to be confused even about themselves. Want to know something, but after knowing they are even upset and angry themselves.

Scratch your own wounds and make your own grief.

What was I expecting? Do I wish they had done nothing?

It's only in the novel if you get married without doing anything. In reality it's not like that. They even do it because they need to.

Humans can have sexual intercourse without love. That's reality.

"Darling ...." Arzhan sat beside me. He tried to apologize for what he had done.

"I just don't want you to think about this. I can tell what you want to say from your eyes. I know you're jealous. I get it."

"Western small fire that you flush gasoline, Mas. I'm burning up."

"I'll put it out."

"Maybe the fire goes out, but the wound will be hard to treat."

"Honey, Alea felt the same way. She was jealous not because she was in love, she just did not like it because her pride was trampled. She was the first wife of her status."

"What?"

Arzhan closed his eyes. He felt guilty for talking.

"So, does he feel privileged because he has a first wife? Why did he change? Didn't he say it didn't matter if I needed you at any time, Mas? He looks cute and doesn't care if we want to do anything. Why has he changed now?"

"I think it's because of the hormonal influence. He is also sometimes too spoiled, sensitive and angry. Other times he can be considerate and very kind."

So, Arzhan thinks it's just a hormonal influence? Why do I feel like I'm saying something different?

I looked at Mr. Raga. He nodded his head at me. It was like a sign that he was going to do something for me.

Right, there's no point in me fighting with Arzhan right now. I just need to investigate Alea's changing attitude lately.