The Ex
91. Find a way out

"And one more Sis, whom you are disappointed in is not me. You also care about our parents. You know what they expect from us. I hope you now understand the consequences of your actions."

And again Zidan struck Siska in the heart with his words. And this remark deepened his sense of regret.

Siska was getting bowed in her tears. His brain suddenly blanked. Dare not to defend himself anymore. Dare not look at Zidan. His voice suddenly stuck in his throat. It felt so shameful to himself as well as to Zidan. His regret is now deep. Slowly, Siska turned around. Stepping out of Zidan's office brought all those messy feelings. There was no hope for her anymore, this time maybe she should really be willing to let go of this marriage, that is what Siska now feels.

"Aishiura!!! fucc*!!."

Zidan also cursed. Siska's trembling back and her shaky steps clearly made her heart ache. His world was so devastated to see his wife as lifeless due to her words earlier. And suddenly the feeling of anger and disappointment so faded. For this is not the attitude Zidan expected from Siska.

"Let's take me home." Zidan grabbed Siska's hand, his gaze had already softened and even his hand gently wiped the tears coming out of Siska's cheek.

"No, I can go home by myself." While getting rid of Zidan's hand slowly Siska refused. It does not seem appropriate to get good treatment from Zidan after he gave such deep disappointment to him and also to loved ones.

But Zidan resolutely refused. "Let me drive you home."

The car Zidan was driving drove towards the apartment. Along the way, the two are the same - equally silent but being enveloped with their respective minds. Siska who had felt insecure and Zidan who was worried because Siska who was crying in silence.

"I work first. Today I have an important meeting with investors so I can't leave. You don't go anywhere, we continue and finish our discussion later after I go home. You wait for me yeah." Zidan's message, after the two get to the apartment and are ready to leave again.

"Zidan," Siska grabbed the tip of Zidan's arm with her face down. Her tears fell down profusely, making her husband's steps restrained.

"I'm really sorry. I am a bad wife to you. I have hired you. I love my mom with my dad. I am a selfish person who does not know. I've always been prejudiced with you. So again I'm sorry."

"He'em, I'm sorry about you. But now I have to go, so we'll talk later." Zidan let go of Siska's hand.

"But, ifyou don't want to forgive me, I'm fine, I resigned. And if you want us too -"

But not finished talking, Zidan immediately nyerobot. Suddenly the heart that had softened a little suddenly became emotional again because Siska who suddenly spoke like that. It's obvious, isn't it? where is Siska's talk.

"If what? you want us to split up? you want us to divorce? lt's it? that's what you want, huh??!!."

"If that's what you want me to do. I'm okay, because I already fuck you, mama ngecewain equally papa. So, I'm fine - what ..."

"we'll talk later!." Zidan was about to leave again, but again - again his steps were detained.

"Sorry.. have disappointed you, sorry for hurting you, hurt mom papa. I'm not the right person for you, Zidan. I don't pant with you."

"Siska!!."

"I even realized all this time I never talked to you. I always mumbled you. What you said to me was all true. You're not wrong." Siska didn't give Zidan a screech.

"I am too selfish. So it's okay if you want us to separate, I'll take it." Siska was still alluring herself.

"MISS!." With a frustrated tone Zidan rebuked.

"I have no hope anymore and for you. I'm a really bad wife and I don't deserve you. Even giving offspring I have to think - think. I'm so mean. I ... I really don't pantes for you. You're too good for me."

BUGHGH!!!.

Zidan threw his bogem against the wall. And fresh blood was seen in his books after that. Zidan was already emotional. Siska should understand that she does not want to discuss the issue of separation. Don't discuss. Even a little bit to part do not show up.

"You say that one more time. Then I'm the one who really wants us to divorce, Sis!." Even the gaze of Zidan's eyes was too piercing showing his red veins.

Siska chuckles. His body froze and suddenly trembled. Zidan could act impulsively like this. It made her even more helpless and more guilty again and again. Especially after that, her husband also just left. Leaving himself alone again, without giving him an apology.

Since the incident that morning. Siska that has been insecure even more insecure. Siska continued to look after herself. Wallowing with guilt in the heart. Don't you dare to talk or look at Zidan. Zidan is like that too. Still controlled by his own anger, Siska felt really strong to ask him to separate. Though in his heart not one bit terbesit the word farewell. And because of that, the relationship between the two is also getting colder by the day.

Feeling no longer strong enough to stem yourself. Siska finally came to her two best friends. What he harbored for weeks was released by way of stories on his two friends. I wish her heart could calm down a little.

"Udah Sis, stop crying. Now we better think of a solution how to let you same Zidan can be better." Feby who was sitting next to Siska tried to give advice while calming Siska who started to come had not stopped crying.

"That's Feby, Sis. Now we better find a solution. Let this problem not be dissolved. Don't cry anymore .. "Raya supports Feby's remarks. Yes even though he thinks it is here the wrong side is Siska. But as a friend Raya did not want to judge Siska's attitude.

"Is there a solution for me, Ray, Feb? My relationship with Zidan has been on the verge of Ray's downfall, Feb. We have not said hello for more than 2 weeks. Zidan always goes to work in the morning and goes home at night just to avoid me. He's got me. And that made me afraid to talk to him first. I'm afraid, I'm talking wrong again and it's making things worse." It feels Siska has been very frustrated with the domestic crisis that is very difficult to find a solution point.

"But even so you still have to talk to Zidan Sis. Not on diem - dieman gini. You have to be brave. You have to apologize again to Zidan sincerely and sincerely and especially do not repeat this act lo" said Raya.

"Gue has apologized many times Ray, but many times that Zidan also said yes sorry me. But in fact until now his attitude is still cold to me. So I'm confused how should I go again?."

"Maybe Zidan still need time, Sis. Because I think this lo mistake is also fatal, this is already about survival in one family. The family that has a large coverage is not only your family with Zidan but also your papa mama with her papa mama Zidan. So you should be able to understand the cold attitude of Zidan this." Now Feby's talking, and this Feby word makes Siska go silent.

"But Sis, if I may know. Why can you take pills without Zidan's knowledge? do not want to have children or how?." asked Raya there is a tone of caution - caution asked this question.

"Gue doesn't know Ray, yesterday I was just in doubt. I'm scared too. I feel that this marriage is not real because it is too sudden the same as too agitated. So I feel I'm not ready and not sure of myself as Zidan." replied Siska who can nod a nod from Raya.

"Well, if that was yesterday you rasain, that makes sense. Yesterday the marriage can be said to be impromptu. But before that I want to ask Sis equally lo. Yesterday, you married Zidan actually felt forced or unwilling? or in the depths of your heart you want too?." Feby kicked it again, which honestly Feby's question was a little touching his feelings. Because basically Siska did not feel the slightest forced to marry Zidan. He wants it too.

"yes, I want to." Siska lowered her head to confess her feelings as well as to feel ashamed of herself because of this reality.

"That means that the conclusion is. Lo is also affectionate and love Zidan but because of your ego, you become doubtful. But wait, you're not traumatized anymore, are you? you've been acting this far to take the pill not because you're afraid Zidan will be sick again with his overprotective attitude and also afraid of being cheated on again, right?." Raya, as if she had just realized something big.