Trouble Honey
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“I can't be with you, Sir.” The girl spoke behind Joan's tight embrace. “I sure still love the same person for now. I feel guilty every time I remember him while being with you.” Said again.

“Since the beginning, we did not have any interest. Maybe this happens to you too. Sir Joan just happened to touch my body so you're curious because it hasn't taken away my honor. This isn't love. All I know, I also have no love for you anyway.”

Joan was really upset at fate. Why should it be like this? Joan felt she had done her best to attract this girl's attention. He became a figure who always cared for him, became a loyal listener of his story, became a guide to help him achieve dreams, a figure who would be willing to exist when needed when he felt lonely.

“You've always been beautiful in my eyes, Jiyya. Maybe there really is a time when we are misguided and take the wrong path. But it's not the first time I've taken an interest in you.” Joan did not consciously say that sentence. Make his heart beat harder so aware that the mind has spoken using his tongue.

The girl was petrified in Joan's arms and lied once if in the current situation both could not listen to the heart thump of each of them who was racing.

Jiyya actually wanted to escape from the man's embrace, just somehow she couldn't even push him away. Likewise with Joan who felt that she did not have to always give up in every situation. He did not want to stare at the back of Jiyya who had always been the first to leave himself so easily.

They were long silent in that awkward and stupid situation. Finally Jiyya broke the silence anyway.

“I know that Sir Joan was always there for me. But because of that, I feel ashamed to be impressed to use without giving a commensurate reward.”

Joan was surprised, thinking if perhaps Jiyya could read her mind which contained complaints? Lying to comfort the side of his insecurity who was injured for getting rejected? But Jiyya never lied at all. The girl did tell the truth. She doesn't want to be a selfish woman who uses a kind-hearted man to stay by her side.

“I've heard that Sir Joan has feelings for me. In the gossip campus it has been circulating for quite a long time. But I always assume that it is just an issue because we already know each other before you become a lecturer in the campus. It is natural for others to misunderstand our relationship, you are a handsome man and not a few women are interested in you. They may be jealous because you treat me well. Moreover Sir Joan also knows that I have a heart patch even though he is not here?” said Jiyya, who was greeted by a momentary silence.

“But at least let me always be by your side, in every way.” Tympal Joan.

Jiyya would love to say ‘iya’ but if it were like that, wouldn't everything even be more complicated and messy? They are an impossibility too difficult to step into unification. For whatever sake Jiyya becomes shaky about her own beliefs. Not when she said something like this after Jiyya explained that there was no possibility for them.

Side by side, on each other's side.

It was something that seemed too difficult to do, the road was too steep and Jiyya felt she would not be prepared for the consequences. Jiyya already knew that. For that reason, Jiyya had to pressure herself to make a decision even harder. Someone has to be the bad guy between the two of them, and it's definitely him. Jiyyah.

Joan pulled herself a little, wanting to see the face of the girl who had completely dominated her heart at this moment. He wanted to make sure that Joan didn't care about anything as long as she could be given a chance to be with him to the end.

“Whatever you say has no effect on me. I will make sure I am always there for you. I will also support to achieve your dreams, I am also willing to wait if it is too difficult for you to open your heart to me.”

Jiyya could only stare at the dark gray iris of the man fixedly. Sir Joan really said something very dangerous. Jiyya could have ignored everything and squandered at the man's embrace, even though her capital was only limited to sweet words that sounded so sincere.

If Sir Joan really loved her, then she was probably the luckiest woman in the world.

But for Joan herself, she was always the only one who could see the girl's back. Jiyya was always taken away from him, then she would always try to get a little more attention. So this time Joan made sure not to make the same mistake and gave up even though the girl was never there.

Can he be this kind of selfish guy? He just wanted to be able to stare at the two girl's shady eyes for even longer. She wants Jiyya to know that she is always ready to do anything for her sake.

Jiyya is simply a source of comfort for her monotonous and worthless life. It would not be an exaggeration if he said that Jiyya was his life, everything started when they met for the first time and talked to Jiyya who was still quite young at that time. He was in a state of grief for the loss of his mother. When chatting with Jiyya who at that time did not know her name, Joan felt she had been able to live again.

Although people say Joan has a lot of perfection, Joan actually has insecurities. It starts when Joan is reunited with Jiyya by the universe when she becomes a teenager. Dean became the one to introduce the two of them. If Joan still remembers Jiyya, then she doesn't. Feeling that Jiyya dislikes her cold demeanor, Joan gradually changes her nature and learns how to approach women. He managed to become a reliable seducer, and a big class playboy. But still Jiyya even more disliked it. Joan is only trying to show Jiyya that she can do anything to show her that she is in love.

The last time Joan heard the reason why Jiyya was cold towards all the men who approached her was because the girl was in love with a young man her age. Joan finds out as much as she can and finds the man Jiyya likes named Bestian. Since then Joan gave up and tried for the bodo period, she also behaved normally to Jiyya although of course she was treated a little more special compared to other women. They were finally able to get a little closer because Jiyya continued her studies to the campus where she had worked there as a lecturer.

Realizing their status, plus Joan who began to be betrothed to a woman by her stepmother. Joan is not taking care of Jiyya. And the woman who has the longest track record with Joan is Maria. That's how its history is.

But still, even though Joan has changed partners as much as she can get. Even to the point where the matter of inviting a woman to sleep is no longer difficult for him.

The point is Joan still loves Jiyya despite having gone through many breaks in her life.

Do I need proof for all of this?

“Let me be with you, at least not only for tonight if you can't accept me.”

Joan saw Jiyya biting her lower lip. Should he use another one?

“I won't bother anymore if I can be with you.”