When My Wife is Different
Feelings

Like a suspect waiting for a verdict. It was as if Irham heard the judge knocking the hammer and declaring the death penalty for him. Irham stiffened, unable to simply deny. The husband's trembling eyes were fixed on the woman who slowly turned her body to face him.

"If I could turn back time. I want to go back four years ago when we were reunited. My fault. Sorry, yes, Mom. I should have thought, there's no way a man like you doesn't have a lover and a future wife. Until I obeyed Abah when I set us up."

Irham's throat was burning.

"You don't have to apologize like now. It is only natural that you accompany them. Apart from being responsible, she's the woman you once loved. He and I are different. I can understand."

Dinar did not cry, the beautiful woman just spoke without looking at her husband.

"You don't have to apologize and feel guilty for me if the same thing happened yesterday. I will always be able to understand." said the woman who did not get an answer.

Irham laughed heartily. Every word that came out of his wife's mouth today hurt her heart and feelings.

They were silent, diving in each other's minds. Along with the sun that began to peek from the edge of the sky, it gradually illuminated and warmed the earth. But not in two still cold human children. They stared far out there with blank eyes. Sitting side by side but feeling very far away. More so than when we first met and didn't know each other.

"It's time for dawn, Mom."

Irham turned his head, along with Dinar who was staring at him. They looked at each other after hours of silence.

"We pray together, Yes."

Dinar did not immediately answer, smiled a thin smile then nodded slowly.

*******"

After the prayer, Irham did not move from his seat, looking at his wife who was solemnly praying.

After kissing her husband's hand, Dinar's body was pulled by Irham. The man clutched his wife with an undiminished guilt.

"Do you want to drive back to Abah's house again?"

In her husband's arms Dinar could not prevent tears from seeping. However, he hurriedly rubbed so that Irham did not know if his heart was broken again.

"Yes, later after Ilyas wakes up, Ms. Lik Mina has come, and Mas has left for the cottage, we're leaving."

Irham looked away, went back silent for a long time. Despite not wanting to part and not wanting Dinar to leave, he felt ashamed to ban.

The man turned his head as the warm hand of Dinar touched and wrapped around his own cold staircase. Dinar was grasping tightly with an empty smile forced before saying,

"Mas, I cannot force you to be perfect because you are not an angel. Nor can I always sincerely accept my destiny because I am not an angel, even if I don't mind can I ask you for something?"

Irham.

"Say."

"Please talk to me."

Irham's heart was torn to hear his wife's request. This finally? Is this the fruit of his concern for others? Make him lose his little family?

Is fair?

*****

A day last night Irham didn't sleep. She leaned back on the car seat, after driving Dinar to her in-laws' house, for some time she spent in the car. Not staying up all night and driving away that makes his body feel very tired at this time. But his heart and feelings are hurt.

Dinar's words made him speechless.

"While we are still together, I cannot be the same Dinar, the Dinar that Mas married four years ago. Everything has changed, and I will definitely be a different person. Therefore, I asked Mas to let me go."

Now let's not go teach. Just to rest the body, Irham was unable.

Once again the smile of Dinar. Which makes it even more wrong.

Irham wanted to fight, but what he fought for was not willing.

Irham felt guilty when Dinar said that he was no more important than Ratih. It was evident for hours he was in the hospital, not remembering his promise to the wife. It proves that in the heart of Irham Ratih is superior to him.

Ratih. When I am with him I forget time.

But, Dinar once again believes that her husband is not the type of man who easily reneges on promises, especially she is the wife and mother of her child, he said, it was impossible for Irham to choose a woman who had nothing to do but a past story.

But once again Dinar's hopes were lost to reality. It turned out that Ratih's confidence was true, her husband forgot the time and came with only words of forgiveness and regret.

It turns out that Ratih knows the figure of Irham rather than he who was married because of an arranged marriage.

*******

Irham did not go, he took his car back to the house of Kiai Ahmad Sulaiman.

Dinar who was talking to Hassan turned his head, coinciding with her husband raising his head and looking at her.

Hassan who was at the side scanned the cheerful face of Dinar. That was the look Dinar always showed as long as he knew. No stranger, still as beautiful as before but enough to make him continue to be amazed.

Hassan's eyeballs sparkled and faithfully followed the Dinar's stumbling head as it was laughing. Hassan liked that, unknowingly unable to take the gaze of the goods away from Dinar. The man's hands were itching to stroke his cheeks that were met with red because they were happy. But Hassan was only able to clench firmly, inwardly reminding himself to realize that the woman could not be held to death.

They stood there for quite a long time, until the arrival of someone was able to make the cheerful look of the Dinar change. The woman took her eyes off Ilyas who was learning to swim with her brother and looked at the man who was her husband.

Hassan only saw the arrival of Irham which made Dinar's laughter stop. The marriage of Dinar and Irham seemed to have no future.

But the man knew that the man there was the owner of the heart of the woman beside him. It's ironic, isn't it. Because with anyone Dinar later from the woman is happy he will support her.

"So, Irham wants to talk." Irham's voice caught the attention of everyone, including Kiai Ahmad Sulaiman who immediately looked up to see the arrival of his son-in-law.

They had not met. Dinar said the same Abah Irham was in a hurry to the cottage. But, it turns out Irham came again.

Hassan saw that the man's eyes were reddened, as if Irham had just finished crying.

Dinar was also suddenly attacked nervously.

*******

Kiai Ahmad Sulaiman who had finished with the bath, met Irham who was playing with Ilyas.

"Said Dinar, did you rush to the cottage, Ham?" Irham smiled stiffly.

"Mboten siosk, Bah." Irham's voice raspy.

"What are you talking about?" asked Kiai Ahmad Sulaiman while responding to his grandson's speech.

"I mean Irham met Abah here, because Kulo bade wangsulaken Dinar kalih panjenenengan."

The deg!

Step Dinar stopped at the doorway with a tray filled with tea in his hand.

Dinar did not expect, Irham agreed to part ways carefully. Irham came to return her to her family.

Mournfully. But, maybe this is better for Irham.

"She, Le?" Kiai Ahmad Sulaiman was no less surprised.

Notes.

Mboten sios: not so.

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