A Million Love For Alana
Kejujura Hearts

Alana was sitting on the edge of the bed watching Zhafran busy talking to her kilien on the phone. Fear enveloped Alana's heart at that moment. She was afraid that Zhafran would return with Binka, because Alana felt that Zhafran's heart was still there for Binka. Zhafran is only half in love with Alana, Zhafran wants to marry Alana because Nina who is already affectionate with Alana more than her birth mother.

"I know you can't love me yet, even though I've given you this whole body, Mas. But, you have made this heart already love you, Mas. Let me ask for your love, even if it's just a little bit" Alana murmured.

Alana was still sitting on the edge of the bed, Alana's eyes looking towards the side with a blank look. He still remembered the look on Zhafran's face that was happy to meet Binka.

Zhafran approached his wife who was still staring at the corner of the room with a blank look. Zhafran sat down beside Alana, he clasped Alana's hand and kissed her. Alana turned her head towards her husband, she did not notice that Zhafran was already beside her, and kissed his hand. Alana smiled with nothingness, somehow it feels like Alana's heart now, living with a husband who only enjoys her body without love in his heart.

"I felt I was a puppet for Zhafran to vent his lust. Is that how I am? I'm sure Zhafran doesn't love me sincerely?" muttered Alana by looking at her husband's face.

Zhafran rubbed Alana's cheek gently and kissed her Zhafraning. He knew that his wife was not well because she saw Binka on the beach.

"Lan," call Zhafran.

"Yes, what's wrong?" alana Sahut.

"Why you?" ask Zhafran.

"It's okay, I want to sleep, mas. I feel so tired, wake me up when it's late" Alana said.

Alana's heart was really not calm. He actually saw the look in Zhafran's eyes implying that Zhafran still loved Binka very much, he saw Zhafran's gaze which implied longing for Binka.

Alana curled up hugging the bolts, not feeling a circle of tears dripping on her cheeks. He immediately wiped it with a blanket covering his body. At times, Alana's sobbing was heard in Zhafran's ear.

Zhafran was confused by what was in his heart. She still loves Binka, but beside her and in life she has a good woman, Alana. The woman who always understood and knew what Zhafran needed. A woman who truly loves him. However, Zhafran's heart could not lie, just a little love for Alana, it was because of Nina.

"Even I've done it as a husband, screwed him, but I still haven't been able to give all this love to Alana. Is it not possible and should continue to practice loving Alana? Or at all I will never be able to love Alana, and only Binka I love? I don't know what to do, I love Alana, but not as much as Binka. And, I knew this would make Alana tormented," muttered Zhafran.

Zhafran heard Alana crying. Zhafran did know, Alana was crying, she did not know what to do. Easing her cries and pretending to love her so much, it was simply impossible. Zhafran must be honest with Alana, if she still loves Binka. And, had not loved Alana all her heart, for there was still Binka's love left in the trough of her heart.

Zhafran hugged Alana and rubbed her head. He kissed Alana's head gently. Alana grew sobbing and shed her tears.

"Lan, I know, you're crying because of me, for accidentally meeting Binka. Lan, I'm sorry, there's still love in my heart for Binka. And, I'm sorry I'm still sharing this feeling with Binka, not totally for you" Zhafran said.

Alana's body stiffly heard Zhafran's statement. Her cries were getting broken, but she was aware, because it was the reality. The fact that Zhafran still loves Binka and still half-heartedly loves her. Alana exhaled her breath violently.

"Well! I'm sober, and I know it all. You still love Binka. But at least you don't have to talk like that" Alana said.

"I'm sorry, Lan, I really haven't been able to give this whole heart to you, rather than lying, I'd rather be honest as I am." Again Zhafran's reply made his heart ache.

"Then you did this with me? On what basis?"ask Alana.

"Oh my God ... What am I? What do you think I am, my mother? I am your wife, I also deserve to be loved and cherished by you wholeheartedly, Mas," muttered Alana.

"Oh, on that basis? Yes, I don't care, as long as you are my husband, I deserve you, I deserve to love you" Alana said.

"Yes, you can love me, but I'm sorry, I haven't been able to give my heart away completely" Zhafran said.

"Forget that. I don't mind it" said Alana.

Alana wiped her tears. It turned out to be a mere waste he was crying over all, because in reality Zhafran still loved Binka very much.

"Okay, I don't care if you love Binka. Because you are still beside me, with me all the time" Alana murmured.

Alana forgets the pain in her heart, although it occasionally reappears in Alana's heart. She tried to be a good wife to Zhafran, no matter how the fate of her and Zhafran's marriage ended.

"I should be able to, I should be able to be the best for Zhafran. I don't know when Zhafran will love me with all his heart just for me, and somehow the fate of my marriage" Alana murmured.

It was late afternoon, Alana saw her husband who was still asleep, she did not want to disturb her husband to sleep. He got off the bed, and taking his towel, he took his towel to the bathroom. Alana locked the bathroom door and took off her clothes. She stood under the shower, she felt the softness of the water dripping on her body.

Little by little the turmoil of his heart subsided, remembering there was Nina who had to be happy because of him, there were people who loved him very much.

"Is this the fate of my marriage? I guess, Mas Zhafran will love me sincerely, but as it turns out, it's just nonsense!” Alana's Ogat.

Alana came out of the bathroom, she took her clothes and put them on. Alana dries her hair, then comes out of her room to cook dinner. He deliberately did not wake Zhafran, he did not want to disturb his sleep. It was better for him to cook, than to see Zhafran make him love her even more.

Zhafran woke up from his bed, he already did not find his wife beside him. Zhafran knew, his wife was most in the kitchen to cook. Zhafran moved out of his bed and into the bathroom to take a bath.

Zhafran realized that his words had hurt Alana so much. He knew what Alana was feeling right now. Finish bathing Zhafran out of his room. He saw Alana arranging the food at the dining table. Zhafran watched from afar Alana's face that looked very sad. He knew that Alana was crying.

"She was angry and disappointed in me, but she did not forget her obligation to serve me as her husband. It's really good of you, Lan. But, sorry I still can't give my whole heart to you, all this I'm doing to Nina" murmured Zhafran.

Zhafran approached Alana who had finished her meal. She hugged Alana and kissed her cheek. Alana knows, this is the habit of her husband every time he arranges food at the dinner table.

"Wake up, want to eat now?" alana asked with a smile.

"Byeah, it seems like the chicken soy sauce is delicious," replied Zhafran.

"Yes, because it's special for my husband" Alana said.

Alana and Zhafran ate together and after that, they had a little chat at the dinner table after eating.