Bald-headed
Ch. 23

Sugi crouched down in front of the wooden pile.

He lit a fire, moved the log, and added some more firewood.In a few minutes the burning wood had turned into a fire, burning steadily.

He turned his head to the side to straighten out the remaining unused logs and glimpsed Birundasih from the corner of his eye. Steal a quick look at him. Even in men's clothes she looks beautiful, she thought. A moment later he turned around timidly, piling up the logs again.

"I'm going there to store the rest of the wood" he said, trying to sound relaxed.

"Well, can I help you do it?" Birundasih knew what he was thinking and felt a little amused at how young he looked.

"No need, it'll be over soon, you can get there and warm yourself up."

"Okay, waiting for you a few minutes here I'm willing." Birundasih laughed a little.

Sugi laughed silently, praising inwardly how sweet he was when laughing like that. Then it passed to the small warehouse where the wood storage was and returned after.

He rubbed his hands against his pants, and pointed to the kitchen. "Can I get you some more tea? He creates small talk, or whatever to keep his mind clear.

But shit, the look. . .

Birundasih thought for a moment, saw the way Sugi looked at him, and felt the old instincts take over.

"Do you have anything stronger, or is it too early to drink?" Ask later.

Sugi smiled. "I have bourbon in the kitchen cupboard. Wanna?"

"That sounds good."

She walked towards the kitchen, and Birundasih watched her, combing her wet hair with her hands as Sugi disappeared from her sight.

Thunder boomed loudly, and another torrential rain began. Birundasih could hear the roar of rain on the roof, could hear the snapping of logs as flickering flames lit up the room.

He turned to the window and saw the gray sky flashing brighter for a moment. Moments later, another thunderclap. He closed his ears this time.

Birundasih walked to pick up the blanket from the sofa and sat on the rug in front of the fireplace. Crossing her legs, she adjusted her blanket until she felt comfortable and looked at the dancing flame.

Sugi came back, saw what he was doing, and sat down beside him. He put two glasses down and poured a little bourbon into each one. Outside, the sky was getting darker.

Thunder again in the sky. Strenuous. A small storm raged, the wind whipped the rain in a circle. Sometimes pushing water harder into the window. A momentary blurry view on the glass before then slowly descending and restoring the appearance of raindrops pooling on the ground.

"It's a very heavy rain" Sugi said as he walked to see the water droplets flow vertically in the window. Birundasih got up and followed him.

He and Birundasih stood so close now, despite not touching, and Sugi noticed Birundasih sighing in every few moments, making his chest rise a little in every time he did.

Pushing the shadow on the other thing he avoided once again, and he had to fight it back.

"I like it" he said, sipping on the glass. "I've always loved thunderstorms. Even when I was much younger.

"Why?" He tried to say anything, to keep his balance.

"Eitherway. They always seemed romantic to me" Birundasih smiled briefly.

He was silent for a moment, and Sugi saw flames twinkling in his hazel eyes. Well-favoured.

Then he said, "Do you remember when we sat together and waited for a storm of shooting stars a few nights before I left?"

"Of course."

"Have I changed so much?"

Birundasih took a moment to sip the bourbon again, feeling the liquid warm himself. He touched the man's hand as he answered his question.

"Not really. Not in the things I remember. You are older, of course, with more life behind you, but you still have the same sparkle in your eyes. You still read poetry and float on lakes and rivers. And you still have a tenderness that not even war can take away I feel."

Sugi thought about what he said and felt Birundasih's hand clinging to his hand, his thumb tracing the skin of his hand making a slow circular pattern.

"Birundasih, you asked me what I remember most about the holiday season."

"Um yeah... I wonder, what do you remember?"

Sugi was silent for a while before he started to answer. His voice seemed to be coming from somewhere else.

"I remember making love. That's what I remember most. You're the first for me, and it's more beautiful than I ever thought."

Sugi took another gulp of bourbon in his hand, recalled, returned the old feeling again, then suddenly shook his head. It's been hard enough. He forced those memories to leave.

And as he fell silent, Birundasih said, "I remember before, I was so scared that I trembled, but at the same time so excited. I'm glad you're the first. I'm glad we could share that."

"I am too."

"Are you just as afraid of me?"

Sugi nodded without speaking, and Birundasih smiled at his honesty.

"I thought so. You've always been shy like that. Especially in the beginning. I remember you once asked me if I had a boyfriend, and when I said yes, you rarely spoke to me anymore."

"I don't want to be between the two of you" Sugi explained.

"However, in the end you did, even though you pleaded not guilty," he said with a smile. "And I'm glad you did."

"When did you finally tell him about us?" ask Sugi curiously.

"After I go home."

"Is it hard?"

"Not at all. Because I've fallen in love with you."

Birundasih squeezed Sugi's hand, released his grasp, and moved closer. 

He placed his hands on the man's arms, gently hugged his arms, and leaned his head on Sugi's shoulders. He could smell it, soft as rain, warm.

 He spoke slowly...

"Do you remember walking home after the festival? I asked if you wanted to see me again. You just nod your head and don't say a word. That's not very convincing."

"I've never met anyone like you before. I can't control my nervous feelings. I don't know what to say."

"I knew. You will never be able to hide anything. Your eyes always show you. You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen."

He stopped then, raised his head from Sugi's shoulder, and stared straight at him. When he spoke, his voice was almost nothing more than a whisper. "I think I love you more in that holiday season than I ever loved anyone."