Bare With Bastard
The past.
Ayaz left Yaren. Speaking of God, Ayaz was furious. His life has no sweet memories, full of revenge! That's himself.
Ayaz POV's.
I'm crazy, well let's say I'm crazy!
Life suffers, even more than what Yaren tells her about her friend.
That baby doesn't have a Mom and Dad, I think it's better than that, it doesn't have a Mom and Dad! It's really sad but the truth is better.
“You bastard! I should have killed you from the day you were born in the world.” said Sein, his father.
“Then why didn't you kill me?” little Ayaz asked, at that time he was about twelve years old, exactly forty days the mother had left him.
“I still need you, you'll die when it's time!”
His father left him, the father who always called him an illegitimate son.
Ayaz did not understand, why did he who before the death of his mother, he actually had a complete family, his father was there even though he had never been kind to him, his mother too, then why call him that name?
When asked, the mother never answered.
“Bu, why do you always say that I am an illegitimate child, even though my report card is clearly written that he is my father?” ask Ayaz one day.
“Maybe Dad is angry, he accidentally said that, you remember Dad always sends gifts when you get a champion!” his mother said calm.
“Ehhmm, right, maybe Dad is angry because of the office problem, it's okay Mom, I always like the gift from Dad, he can also be good!” say Ayaz enthusiastically.
His mother smiled, Ayaz is his happiness.
“That child is an illegitimate child, he is not my son, he is Nindi's son with someone else, but I have to get Nindi's legacy when that child turns twenty-one, dear... Be patient a little.”
One night, Ayaz who had grown up a little bit of a teenager could already understand what was really going on.
The conversation of his father and stepmother that he had accidentally heard that night really scratched the wound in Ayaz's heart.
It is fitting that his father never admitted it, it turns out the reality of his life is so complicated.
"Kill me, you'll get what you want. You tortured me not like an animal. The real despicable human being is you, you son of a bitch Sein!"
Ayaz's legs and hands were tied to a rope, his body was covered in whips, when Sein was angry, whether it was an office problem or a fight with his wife, it was Ayaz who would be his impingement.
"I can't kill you, even when you're twenty-one I can't kill you yet, I'll make sure you suffer!"
Bughhh, a kick landed right on Ayaz's chest, leaving the teenager's mouth full of blood.
As much as Ayaz heard from one of the maids in the house, Sein used to love Nindi, Ayaz's mother, they were both married and agreed to marry, but it turns out that his mother was already in a state of pregnancy when she married Sein, and since Sein knew that he was angry, could not torture and hate too much on Nindi, it was Ayazlah who would be his revenge.
I swear I'll kill them both, Sein and whoever my real father is.
Well, my real father too, he's the one who's made me suffer like this.
"All the gifts when you were a child, when Madam was alive, were not from your father Ayaz, they were from your mother!" Ayaz heard again a confession from Sam, while he was in exile.
Shit, everything he knew made him hate it even more.
Gave me a gift, actually he never thought I existed.
"You go Ayaz, don't mind me, someday if I'm still alive, I'll find you, I'll come see you!" Sam, passed while being dragged by Sian's men.
When I lost Sam, the only person who cared so much about me, I only knew torture as long as I lived in this world.
When Sein absorbed me, I was no more precious than a dog he fed every morning and evening. Where I had to endure the turmoil of wanting to vomit when I found the stale food he deliberately served me, when I would rather tighten my stomach than I should eat it. I've seen suffering while my mother was still there, but it's not as bad as when she left me, I'm kind of lost my way without her, the cervical cancer she suffered had to bring her to meet God sooner.
I felt God was unfair to me, why not save my mother's life, why not just die. Maybe it'll be better, maybe I won't suffer this much. Maybe Sian could love my mother sincerely.
So many things I would have wished for every day since my mother died, I could not change my destiny, my step limit was just that big house, I was treated like a servant, even when the other servants were about to help ease my work then Sia would immediately fire them and torture me.
Sadly, I was even so skinny back then.
Never eat well, sleep properly, my mind always sails praying a glimmer of hope to God, I want to go home to God who said peace for us to rest.
As simple as my expectations, my desire to not linger long to live made me want to kill myself, but again the lesson when I was in school made me undo my intentions. At that time I was not afraid to die, but not by suicide.
He made me blind, it was shards of glass when I was cleaning the shed about my eyes, I guess that's because I wasn't careful, but it turns out that the intervention of Sian is always the reason how I always have to suffer this.
My grudge is mounting, but sometimes it also decays, because with my condition, I am completely hopeless.
"I will heal you, after this, come out, live free even if you have to hang around, you can't go back when you have nothing!"
Sam told me that, when he promised healing to my eyes. I was moved, because he was the one I was strong, he who was just a servant was so caring and willing to sacrifice his life for me.
If you ask where did Sam go? Then I can't answer him either, I don't know where he is now? Are alive or have met God.
I miss Sam, the strong-bodied man has managed to make my sleep is always not good. His words before the farewell made my ears still buzz often, I looked forward to that day, the day he would find me, meet me!
My past, the glimpses of my childhood, the torture Sein had inflicted on me, and plus Sam's departure, sometimes it was true that it made it hard to sleep at night.
Seriate...
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