Being Second: Young Girl To Om Duda
suicide (?)

'is bad destiny always going to hit me? Is there not a single happy gap in my life? Is there not one, oh my God? Why do you test my love like this! I'm not going to get a gap to have it completely, am I not sure if he's going to be okay now? In what other way have I redeemed all the wrongs I have made, O Lord? Let me put a smile on that face, so that I don't get worse over the feeling of wrong that makes me worse too deep.'

*****

Keano is so frustrated with the path of life that has become a suratan by the almighty

'why should my destiny be like this! Why do you always test me like this! Do you not want to see me happy, God? Is this all a sign of my destiny!'

'why should my destiny be this bad! Why is there no happy destiny that you can leave me! Wh why? Why oh God!'

******

Along the way, Keano can only lament the unlucky fate that always befalls him

'why no one ever cared for me! Wh why? Why do they all just want me to follow their will! But ... never thought about how I felt!'

'I'd better get out of this world! Are there no happy words left for me oh my God?'

'my heart has been so sick when I see the person I care for who loves someone else, will you continue to test my love like this!' inner Keano who immediately got out of his car, when he parked the car right on the side of the road.

*****

Whether which demon had possessed Keano's feelings, he was getting closer to the edge of the road below which was a river that was so swift

'if I knew that fate would be this difficult, I would never have created it, O God! Why are you making me go crazy like this! Is this what you want! Is this what you want from me, oh Lord!'

Keano was getting closer to the edge of the street, his heart was already so filled with Layla's face, even for a second Keano could not forget that face

'want I turn that time around, if I had preferred you, I would not have suffered like this, Layla."

'Is this a punishment for me? Is this the punishment I deserve, Layla?' the returning Inner Keano recalled all the past moments that had happened between her and Layla.

*****

Flashbacks …

The beginning of Keano finding her first love, in such a state of slumping for everything that ever happened, makes Keano real so frustrating

There was no support for Keano, all of her drifting away as if no one knew her

'huhhh!'

'basic! My turn is like this! All of them go away! This is called family! What's this! It's all just rubbish!'

'there were too many demonic masks that they wore on that face! When I was in a state of slump! No one is trying to find out about me! This is called family!'

'where are they all? Whither? Why do they all seem lost to the earth!' young Inner Keano who was so frustrated about the big problems that occurred in his life.

'It's like there's no other way but suicide! That is the only way to get rid of the frustration that is happening right now! There's nothing I can trust, nothing to calm me down! It's the only best path I can take.'

******

Maybe God is still kind to Keano, God still gives an angel in the form of man to himself who is so eager to end a life that is so heavy if carried alone

"Thank God, at least this salary is still enough for another month." Young Layla just got back from work

The clock was already showing at half 12pm, in the middle of the journey, Layla saw a vague figure from a distance, wearing a white shirt that so radiated an aura of horror in the middle of a blind night like this, it just makes the feathers stand up instantly

'what is a ghost? Why do my hair goosebumps like this?' layla's inner self, unable to see anything so terrifying, Layla is a typical person who can't watch horror movies, because Layla will always think long about everything that happens to her and it all makes Layla so scared that she can not forget in a short time.

*****

Curious, Layla tried to walk closer to the bridge, muttering in her own heart

'where is there such a mystical thing in the real world! I have to make sure about the thing my own five senses are seeing!'

'don't it be a suicidal person!' young Layla Inner who saw the figure as if to jump plunged down

It turns out that the real Layla filing is, the figure is not a mystical figure, but a human figure who wants to eliminate his own life

By trying to run as hard as possible to where the man who wanted to jump immediately, maybe if Layla was a second late, the life of young Keano would definitely be completely absent in the mortal world

"Hey!" Layla, who is still able to pull the burly body away from the bridge, witnesses a silent rendezvous between Keano and Layla

"Why did you intercept me! Why!" Keano who cried sobbing when looking and can feel if there are still people who care about her who are already so considered contemptible

"You are not my nobody! Why did you save my life!" Keano said with frustration

Young Layla who does not want to see a man she does not know, increasingly has the intention to harm her life back

Layla also took the initiative to take young Keano away from that place to a place that can make Keano's heart calm again

"If you have a problem! This is not how you solve it! There are other ways aside from suicide!"

"Let's come with me for a minute" the young Layla asked

"Where are you taking me? Will you take me to heaven or hell?" Keano who is still so traumatized by the severe problems that he has been enduring alone

Layla only gave a distinctive smile on that face, a smile that Keano would never forget in his entire life

"Later I'll tell you, now we better get out of this place!" Take Layla who can finally make Keano's heart quite calm, Layla can take young Keano away from the bridge that will be used by Keano to eliminate his own life.

*****

"Where are you taking me, miss?" Asked Keano who had started to regain consciousness

"Are you hungry? Do you want to eat meatballs first?" Offers from Layla on young Keano

'what's with this taste? Why do I feel so comfortable with him? Why does this feel so different? But I don't know this woman at all? But ... why am I so calm as if I can forget all the problems that are happening to me?'

"Are you hungry, miss?"

"Do you want to warm your body on this cold night?" Keano made an offer for Layla

Layla is quite happy, because the man she does not know at all has begun to calm down and even wants to talk to

"Hmmmm" gave a small nod

"Tonight was so cold, it felt like a bowl of meatballs could warm my body that was already so shivering about this gripping night" said Layla who wants to give a warm atmosphere in her first meeting with young Keano.

"You're so good at making poetic words, are you a writer?" Keano asked as the two of them sat down waiting for the order to come.

"Oh, no, just like the use of literary language," replied the young Layla and with a sweet smile at Keano.

*****

Not long after, the order of 2 bowls of meatballs came

"Please enjoy the deck" said the meatball seller

"Thank you, sir." Sayla who did not forget immediately gave a distinctive smile on her face

'is this just my feeling? Have we met in the past? Wh why? Why does it feel like that smile is familiar to me?' keano's mind is always calm when he sees Layla's smile as if he had seen in the past young Keano

"Now, you eat too. Don't just nawarin I doang, you also have to eat." Layla who immediately gave a mouthful of meatballs to Keano's mouth

For some reason, Keano just followed Layla's instructions, when Layla told Keano to open his mouth, he was so respect to open immediately. As if implied there was a feeling that he so longed to have been present in his life again, a beam of light that was real had made Keano able to feel the warmth of the word real love already stored tightly in his heart

" Where? Is that good for meatballs?" Layla asked Keano

Keano only gave a small nod with a sweet smile, as if so fascinated by Layla's smile

Respect it, Keano immediately spoke without him noticing

"Have we met before? Miss?" Ask Keano who seemed hypnotized on the face of ayu Layla who was so alluring to look at and seemed so lost if she had to turn away even a little from Layla's beautiful face.

Layla just fell silent, how could she meet the man she just helped, it felt like the man was so foreign in Layla's life.

" I think it's the first time we've met. Are you sure that what's in your past is me?" Tanya Layla who still gives meatball feed to young Keano

"I don't understand my own words either? I don't know why it feels like we've met before, is this just my feeling?"said Keano who did not stop seeing the charming face of Layla

With a sweet smile, Layla immediately said

"It's okay, I can understand it all." Layla

"I'm sorry, if my words make you feel upset, miss." Keano.

"It's okay, but .. Never call me Miss! I have a name, and my name is (Layla)" early on this is Keano began to really fall in love with the young Layla, until the real love of Keano on Layla is getting tested.

'

*****

Flash on ✨

'layla what should I do now? Do I have to give up all this? Do I have to go back to feeling like ending my own life?' keano's inner back stepped towards the end of the bridge

As if he really wanted to end his own life, walking closer and closer to the bridge 

"Layla, I need you now. I just want you, I don't want anything else, Layla."

"Are you going to be mad at me? If I hadn't kept the promise I made to you?"

"But .. I can't feel this all by myself, Layla? You can no longer accompany me when this body is so tired of facing the world that is so mortal."

'no one can take your place in my heart, Layla. Only you are capable of making myself forget all the restlessness that has ever happened in my life, only you are Layla."

"I don't want to open my heart to any woman other than you." Keano's footsteps were already so right at the end of the bridge

A single step would make real Keano would be lost in this so ephemeral world

"pardon me, Layla. If I can't have you in this world, then I should be gone from your life forever, Layla."

'For this foolish me to forget you in my heart, so that I may not disturb the happiness you are feeling, Layla.' inner Keano who wants to immediately end life that seems never fair to Keano

Imagining that Layla would be hurt again, made Keano real even more frustrated, imagining how a face so loved, would be hurt again.

That one step will keep me out of this world for good, maybe God is still kind to me so bad

Apparently there are still people who are still good to me, there are still people who are trying to save my life that has been over the edge

"Laila?" I spoke when a hand pulled me back away from the bridge

'is this all just a dream? Where could Layla be here? It's all so impossible! There's no way Layla will be in my life for the second time! It's all just my dream!'

*****

(for what in the cry of a farewell, that is the risk of a meeting! If you don't want to say goodbye, then never expect a meeting.)

"wanted to see your beautiful smile crack forever, but I know. Our love is like twilight longing for the night, very close but there is no time to be attracted to each other. Our love is like the sun longing for the moon, there is clearly no way to go, but .. why I still remain faithful waiting for a miracle from God.'