
I raised the knife high that had been sharpened earlier to separate some parts of the lifeless creature that lay resigned before me.
Braaakk!
The head of the chicken rolled apart from the body and joined together another pile of meat. Maybe there is a brother, om, aunt, maybe even his parents.
"Don't be fierce, Sister Risa." Ms. Apri stood before me laughing.
He gave me an envelope with this month's salary. I welcome his hand with joy and say thank you very much, because it happens that the stock of medicine for Mas Budi has run out, even a week has not been redeemed.
Each step of my life was filled with gratitude as I walked towards a house that was only different how many blocks from where I worked. I once threw smiles and greetings to Gita and Mama when I met them on the porch, but as usual there was no reply. Yes, it's okay, I'm immune.
I rushed into the room to see my husband, who had been lying limp in bed for two years, with a bell hanging from his wrist. I purposely put it there, so he can sound it if he needs something.
"Mas, today I payday." Kuciumi gently backs his hand.
He smiled warmly and stroked my hair. Although his body is not like before, but he is still able to provide warmth.
"It's a fortune for us, ma'am," I said happily.
Tear drops fell as we counted the sheets of hundreds of thousands that numbered fifteen. Finally I can redeem the medicine that should have been taken by Mas Budi last week, because it has no savings at all. There was nothing else I could sell at that time, even the pawn of the wedding ring had run out a few weeks before.
➖➖➖➖➖
"What's this?" The scream of Gita surprised me who was feeding Mas Budi.
The glancing gesture of Mas Budi's eyes signaled that I should go out and see what was going on. I put the plate next to the bed and left the room.
"What's wrong?" ask me and get Gita standing next to the dining table with the food hood open.
"You're crazy. Just give us some egg and vegetable side dishes today? Shouldn't you be paying?" snapped it.
Eggs and vegetables? Still mending I still remember the people who were in this house. If not, I will just prepare food for me and for Mas Budi only. They just know how to enjoy the facilities available in this house, without ever thinking about how hard it is for me to finance everything.
They should have realized, after Mas Budi had an accident, he was not able to move his body anymore. The nervous system in his brain was severely damaged and only allowed his arms and fingers to function, even to speak. Our condition can't be what it used to be.
"What is this storm?" My in-laws came out of his room.
"Look at him, Ma, stingy man! Could be malnourished I long ago." bela Gita then went to slam the door of her room, before I could explain that the money I received was not only for the purposes of this house, but also for the health of her brother.
My in-laws just looked disgustedly from head to toe, as if justifying the Gita's accusation, making my chest ache. I want to cry, but I can't. I can't look defeated in front of them. If it wasn't for my love for my husband, I might have left them a long time ago.
Trizion ....
The bell of Mas Budi rang, saving me from being crushed in front of his mother. I rushed into the room to drop the teardrops that were unable to be dammed again.
It seems like Mas Budi is listening to our conversation from within. He patted the bed on his side, telling me to sit there. I shed a cry on her hearty chest that was not as heavy as it used to be. She stroked my hair and wiped my tears as if to say, "It's okay, the important thing is I know everything."
➖➖➖➖➖
Tit
PLN pulse alarm sound will soon run out, when going home to work. I opened the wallet so I could fill it without having to go back and forth, but unfortunately the money left there was only a few silver. I never brought it all in order to better control the groceries.
I had to go into the house to get an envelope containing a few dollars, the rest of the salary I always put in the room drawer. But how surprised I was when I didn't find it in its place.
"Mas! Where's the envelope I put here?" My voice was echoing in panic.
The look I met was different, like there was sadness on his face. He tried to raise his hand and pointed limply towards Gita's room which was right next to ours. I don't know what he's trying to say, but I don't feel good.
I ran out of the room and entered the room without knocking. What's kuketuk for? They are not at home at the moment. We passed each other while walking towards home.
I took out all the drawers, but I didn't even find my envelope. Not only drawers, cabinets, make-up boxes, even photo albums, did not escape my target. But free, it's not there.
Tired of the search, I sat down in tears at the edge of Gita's bed, hoping that the envelope could return to where it should be.
In between my tears, I accidentally grabbed a pillow from the bed until it fell. A hue of happiness suddenly appeared when I saw the white envelope I knew was right in front of my eyes.
Immediately I grabbed and opened the sheet, but had to come back disappointed because there was no rupiah was there. The insolent! Gita took all the contents. How else do I connect my life for the next few weeks?
"Mas! I found this envelope in Gita's room. He stole, Mas!" My tears fell as I reported them to Mas Budi.
Mas Budi waved his fretful hand, as if telling me to be calmer. Maybe he didn't want to have a heated argument between us, because he knew that if it happened I would lose and he wouldn't be able to stand up for me.
➖➖➖➖➖
Clamps.
The front door is open. I heard their voices come in and laughed cheerfully. I went out and found Mama and Gita who were carrying some plastic packages filled with fruits, supplies, and some snacks.
Get furious! There are no other words that can describe my current feelings other than wrath and tightness.
"What'd you do with this envelope, Gita?" I showed you a shabby envelope that no longer contained.
Leisurely, he sat on the sofa without feeling the slightest guilt. Putting the groceries I believe came from my salary on the table carefully. Goddamnit! If you look, there is almost no burden after he spends my money at will.
"Hey! You hear?!" my snapping.
Gita did not answer a word. He just glanced at me, gawked and nudged me and walked leisurely towards the kitchen. My mom doesn't care much about my words either. The bottom of the family is depraved, totally disgraced in real life.
Sreth!
"We wear it because you're too stingy! Your money, Mas Budi's money too. He saw me pick it up and said nothing!"
Hmh! She could have said that, using her disabled brother's condition to take money from my room. He still had time to defend himself.
Still clutching her hair, I pulled the woman's body closer to the kitchen drawer, where I kept some kitchen knives. Cut-and-cut business is not a difficult thing for me. Right now, it feels like I want to separate my neck from his body like I do in the store.
"Please, Risa, stop. Mama's scared!" my father-in-law became hysterical.
That scream cannot be a hindrance to me. This needle must be removed immediately, because otherwise, it will continue to suck the blood in my body. Can't be left on for too long. Suddenly ....
Triii.
The bells of Mas Budi made me silent for a moment. I tried to ignore it, but ....
Triii.
Triii.
He rang the bell constantly, making me almost crazy. It was like being stuck far away, piercing the spaces in my ears, until ....
Braaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
The sound of falling objects coming from the room made me immediately release Gita, until she cowered in fear on the cold kitchen floor. No matter how it looks at the moment, I immediately ran towards the room followed by Mama from behind.
Mas Budi was lying on the floor enduring the pain. Looks like he just fell for forcing his way out of bed, hearing our big fight. I bowed down and cried out for forgiveness to my husband.
It's a big guilt for him having to listen to this fight, but I really can't stand his sister's treatment.
➖➖➖➖➖
The tightness in my chest never disappeared, even when I saw my husband who had forgotten about the incident, to fall asleep tonight. I don't know where they got the money to charge the electric pulses today, I really don't care. All I feel is a great guilt, when I look at the face of Mas Budi. I'm sure the incident made him feel powerless to be the head of the family.
At 02:00 p.m., I couldn't bring my eyes to sleep. Maybe a glass of water can calm and dampen emotions that are still raging. I set my foot out into the kitchen to wet my throat.
While walking back to the room, my feelings were again disturbed after seeing the door of Gita's room. It was as if a sudden whisper had come into my brain to do something to the woman.
I slowly opened the door of his room and watched him fall asleep in the night, so peaceful unlike myself who was always hit by misgivings and worries, how so that all household needs could be fulfilled. It's not fair to feel.
Slowly but surely, I set foot to approach him in the dim light of the sleep lamp. I stared at his sinless face, but it always tormented me.
For a long time I sat down, thought, and watched the subtle breath move up and down from the cavities of his chest, until I was steady to make a decision.
Immediately I stood up with one round and firm intention, having happened to see there were scissors idle on her dressing table.
➖➖➖➖➖
Busy-busy!
A loud bang from the bedroom door, suddenly woke me up. What the hell is this? Don't tell me they've asked for breakfast at this hour. I deliberately did not install an alarm to be able to fall asleep because today is indeed on holiday.
"Hurry out, Risa!" mama's scream was so shrill from out there, it forced me to break away with a pillow.
Immediately I opened the door to walk out so he wouldn't make another noise.
"What's up, Ma?"
"What did you say? What were you doing in Gita's room last night?" My in-laws body shook as I said this sentence.
The gita? Oh yea. I almost forgot about the kid. After playing around with him last night, sleepiness came straight to me and made me fall asleep very soundly.
I haven't been able to answer the question, my body fell down due to the strong push from behind. With a hint of dizziness, I saw Gita standing before me with reddened eyes and tears holding her almost bald head. Even some areas actually make the scalp visible.
"How dare you!" Gita pointed my face from where she was standing at this moment.
I did not insist on Gita clashing with defense, instead laughing out loud as if celebrating victory. Maybe because of that too, mama stood up to look at me with a very surprised expression.
No words came out of his mouth, he just pecked and closed his lips using his fingers. Perhaps to him, I was already a ruthless monster with no sense of empathy at all.
Triying!
Triying!
Ah, my husband's arm bells ring. Looks like he regained consciousness from the new commotion this morning.
My eyes widened when I saw the figure of a man stepping out from inside the room. Instantly, tears poured out to see Mas Budi standing up straight to lift the sweetest smile he had. The miracle came, and he was healed. It's completely healed.
His presence seemed to treat all the struggles I had done so far, in order to return as usual. Everything I believe is not in vain, Mas Budi is fit now. God may have understood my difficulties, sending his wonders so that Mas Budi could be by my side at this time.
Immediately I stood to immerse my face in the body that I had long missed and cried so badly. Mas Budi greeted me with a warm caress and a gentle kiss on my forehead.
"There's no need to be sad anymore, let's go." I slowly pulled my arm.
I nodded slowly and stepped out with him full of happiness, not caring about my body drenched in blood with a knife that was still stuck there.
I saw my in-laws still staring and trying to shake my body to wake up, but it was free. Now I'm just watching those pathetic creatures in my husband's warm embrace.
Ah .. Good thing it wasn't the Gita I killed last night.
*SATURD* ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Sarah Eszed**