
A full day I just sat with a blank look in the corner of the dining room and lamented the fate that was not much different from my late mother. To whom would I complain at a time like this? I have no family to share the pain with.
I grabbed the car keys and headed to my in-laws' house. I'll tell you everything so that his family can help me and solve this problem, before it gets really complicated. With tears in my eyes, I drove the car and hoped that this would be resolved quickly.
This has to stop. I don't want to end up like my mother who died drowning in pain when her husband left her. Someone must help me rebuke and commemorate Mas Awan, so that my household does not spoil.
It's just that when I got there, I had to stop from a distance when I saw Mas Awan's car parked right in front of his mother's house, to make me have to keep my distance. I parked the car a few blocks from there and thought, What is he doing there?
Before long I waited with anxious expectation, slowly the gate opened. From a distance, a woman holds the keys to my husband's car and opens the front door to pick up items that might be left there.
It was like lightning striking in broad daylight. While trying to recognize the woman, she suddenly lifted her head and showed her face. Undoubtedly, she was Irene, the housewarming woman who was caught sending a message to my husband.
What's the matter?
Why is he there?
My parents already know their relationship?
The crying broke again so bitterly as if all the bones in my body were crushed into a pulp. I wanted to go in and look them in the face, but if I showed myself there, I would lose.
My husband got his offspring from that motherfucker woman, not from me. Even my own in-laws were able to open the door of his house because of the presence of the little demon he gave birth to. That's not fair.
I went home and mourned my destiny.
➖➖➖➖➖
I've decided, can't lose to conditions like this. All I have to do is pretend I don't know anything while rearranging my broken feelings in my husband and family.
I must learn from the events that befell my mother, that life is hard, and the one who gives up will die with her. I don't want to end up like him, if I have to, not losing.
Actually I could have related the matter of Mas Awan's affair with the woman, but for what? It just makes us squabble and get messy. We are not teenagers who have to pull neck veins and fight because of jealousy, even though my jealousy is not blind.
After that incident, nothing changed in my family, quite the opposite. I took better care of myself and used my husband's money to the best of my ability. Salon, gymnastics, body care, all I do. Mas Awan did not mind that, even he felt happy to see my very well-groomed body.
Not only that, as much as I can spoil it by bringing supplies to the office, more often send spoiled messages, and arrange everything to be very soft speech.
Like the word, if my husband likes a special snack that is out there, then I will make something more special from the snack. Irene was able to tease my husband, but I was classier than him.
I had to turn off my feelings so as not to end up pitiful like depressed wives whose husbands had an affair in the back. As much as I can change my mind to be able to take control.
The wind seems to be blowing at me. Mas Awan fell in love for the umpteenth time, but this time his love was bigger and more. His time home from work became faster, even sometimes he did not enter the office just because he wanted to spend more time with me.
Everything was going on normally until the damned woman called back while we were alone watching television. Goddamnit! They could talk right in front of me with no guilt at all. My fear is back to haunting.
Immediately I stood up and shut myself in the room, buried my face in the pillow, and cried so much that my husband entered in in a confused expression, seeing the sudden change of me.
"Why, Dina?" ask the Clouds.
Idiotically. What a stupid question he asked. I even wish he had said something else this time. She could have asked that after receiving a call from the woman in front of me.
"You're work, Mas. Was my cage all this time?" my snapping.
"Whatchu mean? Nothing, Dina, nothing. There is nothing less than you" replied the Cloud.
"Then why are you still in touch with that woman?"
"Irene? You mean her?"
Mas Awan fell silent and sat beside our bed. He took a deep breath and hugged my body. Checkmate! I know, he can't talk right now because he's been caught.
Immediately I brushed off his arm and stood up to get my car keys. There's nothing to talk about right now, not with my condition full of anger. Mas Awan pulled and prevented me from leaving, but I immediately pulled my hand and told him to back off.
"I need some fresh air to think" I said as I walked away from the front of Mas Awan.
I deliberately turned off the device so that Mas Awan did not try to contact. All I need now is time and quiet to think clearly. I turned my brain to work harder.
Suddenly a sense of regret approached. What the hell am I doing? Why is it so stupid? It was in vain that I had struggled all this time to regain the throne as the main wife if I could not see my husband calling his mistress. I turned around, then drove quickly towards the house.
On the way home, my heart spoke, 'Sorry, Mom. I should have prepared a dish more special than before. Maybe my efforts should be harder, not whining to ask you back.'
I opened the door of the house and got Mas Awan sitting while holding his car. He greeted me with a worried face and a warm embrace. I took that hug and gently stroked his back.
"Let me explain, Dina," said Mas Awan as I buried my face in his chest.
"Already, Mom, there's no need to discuss. I know everything. I should be the one apologizing," I explained as I kissed her hand.
➖➖➖➖➖
I try to take over and live life again. Luckily that day my anger was completely muted. If not, it's possible that all the effort I did could have been wasted overnight.
It's just that this game of feeling left my energy pretty much drained. A week after that incident, I asked Mas Awan for permission to go to my cousin's Hera's house, to just find a chatmate and refreshing. Thankful that the Clouds allowed me to leave.
After tidying up the house and helping her finish some work at the office, I set out on my own. Had wanted to bring Mas Awan to participate, but unfortunately he did not seem interested.
Who would have thought, that was my intention to entertain myself by visiting Hera's house, must be remade badmood when she tells the story of her husband who was found in a relationship with a woman he knew from cyberspace.
Arrggh ... I'm really sick of this cheating drama. In any hemisphere, all men are the same. Not enough with the affection of one woman who has spent her life.
There's not much I can do for Hera, except to suggest the tips I've been running right now. Keep to the initial principle, that if your husband gets snacks outside, then you should prepare a more special dish at home.
"You don't know what it's like!" snapped Hera as I tried to give her some advice.
But it's useless, it seems Hera isn't as classy as I am. He was like other persecuted wives who could only cry and whine for their husbands to come back to their full clutches.
I can't explain my current condition either. I don't want to spread our disgrace until it's heard in my family's ears. I'd better get home soon, than be poisoned by the thoughts of a weakling like Hera.
The weather today was so hot, even the AC in the car was unable to quench thirst after arriving home. I opened a big freezer box, took an ice cube and then prepared it on a glass of water that looked refreshing. I kissed my husband's cheek that was sound asleep. Suddenly ....
Trings ....
My husband's string rang by showing a contact named Irene. Like a man in a fidelity, I immediately took the device so as not to disturb my husband's rest and lifted it.
"Hello?"
"Hello? This must be Miss Dina, right?" Crazy, that woman could know my name. Mas Awan must have told me about me to that woman.
"Yeah. Sorry, who is this?" I have to be professional, as if I didn't know him.
"I'm Irene, Mas Awan's cousin, Ma'am."
"Cousin?" I became confused. What is this show again?
"Yes, Mom, cousin. These few months, Mas Awan petrifiedly took care of the move after my husband was mutated. I mean call, just to thank you, because today is going to leave for Singapore. Are you there, Ma'am?" obviously that woman named Irene
"Hmmm, my husband is sleeping. When I wake up, I'll tell you" I replied. I deliberately use the word husband as an emphasis that Mas Awan is mine legitimate.
"Good, Ma'am. Thank you very much. Sorry I haven't had time to stop by and get acquainted."
Irene closed the connection and made me sit up wide. I can't believe that word just like that. I have to make sure this story goes to Uncle Opi at the office.
Still using Mas Awan's device, I immediately looked for contact Opi and called him.
"Good day, sir," there was the voice of Mommy Opi from there.
"Still remember our conversation about Irene last week? I haven't got any information about where he lives" I told Mbak Opi without further ado.
"Yes, Mom. Yesterday somehow the connection was suddenly cut off and I did not dare to call back" said Opi.
"It's okay, Ma'am. What about Irene?"
"Anu, Mum. He no longer exists."
"Nothing what does that mean?" this time my voice was a little high.
"She died giving birth to her premature baby last year, Mom. After that, a week later his son followed his mother."
"What's? You sure, Mommy?"
"Yes, Mom. I went to his funeral myself." Mbak Opi sobbing.
Deg ....
I sat down as if I could not believe what Mba Opi said. Roughly speaking, I opened my husband's message and took pictures of Irene with a man I'd never seen before. Maybe that's what she meant by her husband.
I tried to check another message, but how shocked I was when I saw the unread message that Mas Awan sent me while being emotional last week. Right, until now my salary is still left in the car and I have not activated it.
[He's my cousin, not the Irene I had contact with when I was in school. Just the same name. ]
[O God, Dinah. That Irene you're jealous of is long dead. Why didn't you ever ask me about this? ]
[Go home, Dina. I never cheated on you behind your back. You also know that all my nieces call me Dad, and I call them kids, right? ]
[If you don't believe me, you can call Mama right now. Irene while staying at Mama's house. ]
All these messages I haven't been able to read. I am so sorry to have thought so badly of my husband. Mas Awan remained a faithful husband as he was when we met. The crying had spilled over carrying all the burdens I had felt all along.
Remove the tears that have covered my cheeks. I have to go to my husband and apologize to him. I'll kiss her hands and prostrate to her feet for accusing her of nothing all this time.
Deg ....
Suddenly my steps stopped realizing something. This is not what happened actually. Damnit damnit! You're a brash, Mas. So this is your tactic all along? Arrrggh.
I immediately ran up to my husband to shake his body to wake up, but he did not move at all. I leaned my ear against his chest to look for a heartbeat, but nothing. There's not a single trace there.
Is it possible that his heart froze when I locked him in a big freezer box in our kitchen for a week?
I painstakingly lifted her body out of the freezer box, then I poured cooking oil over her body, then lit a fire to warm her body to normal.
Five minutes, ten minutes, thirty minutes, up to an hour of walking, but he remained motionless. All I got was her clothes that melted with some of her skin to reveal some brownish-red pieces of meat.
All right then, Mas. I'll follow you there, so Irene your ex-boyfriend knows you're married. Don't expect you guys to have fun without me. You are mine anyway.
All I have to think about right now, which kitchen knife can quickly deliver me to you?
*SATURD* ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
➖ Sarah Eszed ➖**