For My Brother and Mother
Does mom hate me..??

These past few months there have been no quarrels between my mother and stepfather.

My mother can raise the family financially again.

She did not need to ask for any more shopping money from her husband.

Gratitude if given money to shop without asking her husband, that's how my mother is now.

Spending every month is enough on the responsibility of Satria and my mother.

But, my mother was more and more willing to talk to me and Satria.

I don't know what my fault is and Satria's.

It's always wrong in my parents' eyes.

"Kin..!!!", cried my mother.

"Yes buk, what is it.??, I said, immediately I met him even though Azam was breastfeeding at that time.

"You ...!!, have a husband has no rules, not taught by his parents.???, said my mother, complaining about Satria's behavior.

At that time, Satria was working.

When my mother was angry, I knew that when Satria left for work, she ran into my mother and got into a fight.

"Astagfirullah, why do ughh buk..??", I said while holding Azam.

"You know your husband.!!, I don't like it when your mother's words are answered.

It's wrong that the boy did not have to argue, understand ..!!", he said as he passed away, but his chatter was still heard until he came out of the house.

Again my tears came.

Does a child not deserve to talk..??.

Is it just because of the age difference, the young are always wrong, and if it is true should not be voiced...??.

What kind of family is this...??.

This is my family, I grew up in their midst, but I felt like I lost them when I was an adult.

I've been trying to be a filial son to my mother.

Being a devoted wife to my husband.

Even being a good sister and mother to my sister and son.

Without taking sides in any of my roles.

But why am I always wrong in the eyes of my own parents.??, my inner cry, as if my inner cry screams to hold it in.

My chest felt tight, wanting me to vent all my complaints, but again I was helpless.

That afternoon Satria came home from work.

Welcomed into contention by my mother.

And ended up impacting me.

"Why mas.???, "my words.

"You know to your mother, what a child should be the doormat of his parents.???, do we not have the right to speak, are the parents of the right place and the young place wrong..??, satria said, then walked into the room.

O God, what else is this, my mind ...

I went straight to my mom.

"What else is bukhh.??, I asked for an explanation.

"Had a brash ghost, mom didn't want to be stepped on, like she didn't have any pride.

Better to get out of this house, not contract in the hut was not a problem", he shouted to me.

I cried while holding Azam back then, I know my selfish mother is here, but she is also my mother, this is also her home.

Where might I have the heart to let him live contracting when we still have a house that is more than worthy.

"No need, take care of your husband" he said as he passed away.

I kept crying at that time.

I remember my late grandmother, if she was still around, my mother wouldn't have acted that way.

I can't leave this house, but my husband and I aren't valued here.

Since then, there has been no conversation between me and my mother.

My mom grumbles all the time, boasting that her son and ex don't appreciate it.

Allahu Akbar, strengthen the servant and the husband of the servant, O Allah.

It's okay that I'm ugly in the eyes of my people and my parents, but I still have God.

God will not test me more than I can.

Allah is sure that I am able to get through it, I murmured in my heart, strengthening myself which is already fragile.

My stepfather was getting more and more happy with the dispute between me and my mother.

My father is making a distance between us.

All my relatives know my condition, but they can't do anything about it.

Advising my mother did not produce anything.

Only God can help me this time.

Every day my mother just looking for a rented house that suits her wishes.

I will no longer stay with Satria and me.

"Nara, jajan...??", Satria offered Nara snacks when she returned to work.

"No need" said my mother, pulling my sister's hand and throwing away the food.

Satria just kept quiet, she was fed up with retaliating against my mother's treatment. Satria stood up and entered the room.

"If you already have your own home, you will not have your self-esteem on the step again" said my mother turned to me.

I can only be quiet.

On the other side of my mother, on the other side of my husband.

If I defend Satria, things will get more murky later.

My cousin came home for the umpteenth time.

I wish my mother would let her go from home.

"Hell, come on, don't get angry and keep looking at Kinara and Azam" my brother said.

"My heart is sick, not appreciated being a parent in this house" said my mother.

"Kinara back to Satria's house can not, but here in the same enemy mother, trus Kinara should what..??" said my brother trying to advise my mother.

"Yes, the mother does not like her husband, it is true that a child cannot argue with parents" said my mother still stubbornly.

"Don't nyesel later lhoo buk, I've reminded, Kinara had a husband, she's not just a mother's child now, she's also a wife" said my brother.

"Whatever" said my mother to leave my sister.

I cried in the room hearing all that,

while nursing Azam, I lamented my own fate.

I'm here, just for my mom's sake.

I put up with my stepfather's behavior just for my mother's sake.

Does my mom hate me..??.

Then who else am I staying for.