For My Brother and Mother
Eid al-fitri day

The holiday became a moment of gathering relatives.

Shake hands and apologize to each other for intentional or unintentional mistakes.

A time when all the families gather.

Smile with others.

But not with my family.

Especially after my grandmother died.

All my siblings are fed up with the unreasonable nature of my stepfather and the rules.

I am ashamed to call him my father.

That morning the takbir echoed in every corner, my mother and I had been cleaning up the house since the day before dawn.

We want everything to be finished and neat, so we can follow the Eid prayer in the mosque.

"Kin..??, breakfast is ready yet..??" said my mother while arranging a cake jar at the guest table.

"It's open, the clothes are also finished I wash, stay in the shower and go to the mosque, hopefully still had time" I said while looking at Azam who was still asleep in the room.

While Satria had already left first for the Mosque.

And my stepfather.??, I don't know..

Since dawn he's been away dressed well, but no one knows where.

"Azam is still sleeping buk, I take a shower first" I said rushing to the bathroom.

"Ibukkk", Azam woke up and called my name while crying.

Lebaran is exactly 2 years old.

He can run fast and talk well.

Truly it is a happiness in itself for a mother, when she sees her child healthy and growing well.

"Azam, this is the same grandma..??" said my mother carrying Azam who was crying in the room.

"After I finished preparing, I carried Azam and bathed him, dressed him in a Muslim koko shirt.

"The handsome son of my mother" I said smelling her puffed cheeks.

"You are ready.??" said my mother ready with her face.

"It's open, Azam is also ready" said I took the face in the closet.

"Duhh, my granddaughter is handsome" said my mother carrying Azam out of the house while waiting for me.

Seeing my mother being gentle with me, Azam and Satria, was enough for me.

"Nara is ready buk..??", I said looking for an invisible nara from earlier.

"Nara left with your sister" said my mother.

"Yes, yukk has left" I said, locking the door.

Takbir is getting stronger.

Allahh huuu akbar

Allahh huu akbarr

Laaa.ha illallah..

huwallah huu akbar .

Allah huu akbar..

Wallillah hilham..

Lebaran is the first time Azam I pray in the mosque.

Azam was very excited to hear the echo of takbir in the mosque.

He walked alone to the mosque.

Because the distance of the mosque from home is also not too far away.

____

After performing the Eid al-Fitr prayer.

Mom and I rushed home.

Soon relatives will arrive at home.

We should be ready to welcome them.

Quickly I kissed my mother and Satria's hands.

Apologizing to them for my wrongdoing and my caliphate.

I don't feel my tears dripping.

I remembered all my bad words to my mother, even though I only said them in my heart.

I apologized to Satria, in my heart I apologized if my parents had hurt her and insulted her.

I am grateful to have a husband like Satria and a son like Azam.

I kissed my sister Nara.

Nara was my stepfather's flesh, but in her veins my mother's blood also flowed.

She was also my sister, my most beloved sister, although on the other hand her father did not consider me to exist.

"Oh, kinara, I'm sorry", I said kissing the back of my mother's hand.

"I'm sorry mom" said my mom.

"I'm sorry I did" said Satria kissing the back of my mother's hand.

"I'm sorry my mother is also Satria" my mother said.

I was afraid, Satria was still hurt by my mother's words, but I was wrong.

Satria unhesitatingly apologized to my mother first.

Another with my stepfather.

After he came back out of nowhere, he would not enter the house.

"Kin, apologize to your father, just for today" my mother said.

"Yeah buk", I said succumb to the situation.

Satria and I shook hands and apologized to my stepfather.

But he seemed indifferent, uncaring.

Let it be, the most important thing is that I just follow the good advice of my mother no more.

The brothers arrived that day, applauded and apologized to each other.

But not as crowded and familiar as when grandma was alive.

Now even close relatives come only for back formalities.

They were actually fed up with my stepfather's rantings and mannerisms.

For the sake of appreciating my mother, all of them are quiet in the heart.

According to tradition, after the Eid prayer is finished and the brothers have come home.

Now it's our turn to visit their homes, to just connect with them.

Generally, each family is in touch with other family members, children and their parents.

But different from me.

My mother, Nara and my stepfather left without me.

My stepfather won't be with me to visit the brothers.

So every year, Satria and I were scattered just two, separated from the parents, we were looking for all the brothers ourselves.

Connecting our own relationship.

Every relative we visited always complained about my stepfather.

Me and Satria could only remain silent.

We, too, can't dwell on his son.

Wrongly resisted, let it be even outrageous.

Like dealing with a person who has lost his mind.

For me it is common.

Most importantly my little family got along well.

That's enough for me.

Again and again.

God does not sleep, I murmured in my heart.