Honey For Amira
Candour

This afternoon the sun is still shining brightly. I walked to the terrace while bringing warm milk Mas Farhan ordered.

"This is the milk Bi" I said as I placed a glass of warm milk on the small table in front of Mas Farhan sitting.

I threw my body at Mas Farhan's side. From yesterday Mas Farhan looked glum. Not like the usual days.

Usually he talks a lot and he jokes a lot with me and Laila.

"Aren't you at the Bi mosque?" I looked at the handsome face of Mas Farhan. The man I married fifteen years ago.

"I'm lazy to the mosque." Mas Farhan looked at me for a moment before his gaze shifted back to the front.

"Why?" ask again.

"It's okay. I'm just not feeling well anymore."

"Yes, that's it. In drinking the milk dong. mumpung still anget-anget."

"Yes. Thanks Mi."

Mas Farhan took that cup of warm milk and sipped it. Then he put the glass back on the table.

"You're sick again, huh Bi? If you are sick, you take bi medicine. I'm taking the medicine inside."

"No need for Mi. Abi is okay."

"Bi, what exactly are you doing? since yesterday I've noticed you it's always been moody. What are you really thinking? are you thinking of getting married again?" I asked that made Mas Farhan a little surprised.

Mas Farhan sighed deeply. He then looked at me.

"You said what Amira was. Who else wants to marry again. Marry again if you agree. You just disagree. Yes, Abi will not understand. The polygamy must be with the consent of the first wife. Can't be careless Mi."

"Where do you know Bi, if Umi does not agree Abi married again. Did Umi say it was like that yesterday? Abi hasn't said who the woman Abi wants to marry is."

Mas Farhan was silent. It seems like she is also hard to tell me about who the woman she wants to marry is.

I, who was still in great curiosity, wanted my husband to say that honesty. Who exactly is the woman he is close to right now.

"You didn't answer my question yesterday. Who is the woman you want to marry Bi?" ask me one more time. I wish Mas Farhan would tell me who that woman is.

From yesterday I was still curious. Before Mas Farhan said about who that woman was, my heart would not be able to calm down.

But if Mas Farhan is honest, I also have to be strong to accept the fact that my husband has fallen in love with another woman.

"If you will, I want to marry Zia Santriku."

"Zia's? Who's Zia?"

"Zia is santri Abi Mi. She's an orphan girl. Since childhood, he was cared for and raised by his grandfather."

"Do you love her?" my many.

Mas Farhan looked at me.

"I just feel sorry for him. Actually, I wanted to marry her because I felt sorry for her. I want to marry him, because I want to help his economy. With me marrying her, I can give her a living."

Just the reason, why would he not want to say that he had fallen in love with that woman, my inner self.

I feel like Mas Farhan's words don't make sense. If she wanted to help the girl, it didn't have to be by marrying her.

Mas Farhan was silent. He could only lower his head. Maybe with a heart problem, he didn't want to be honest with me for fear of hurting my heart. He just said he wanted to marry Zia because he was sorry for Zia.

"The marriage can only be done from the basis of love. Love must be because of God. Not because of the others. Do you love that woman? or do you want to marry her just because she's beautiful and still a girl?"

Farhan was silent.

"You're an ustadz. You have been a role model and role model for people. Aren't you ashamed to be the talk of the Mas people? Iba, don't have to marry."

Mas Farhan looked at me. He then grabbed my hand and grasped it tightly.

"I love you Amira. But I have to be honest with you about how I feel about going to Zia . I have also started to love Zia, I have loved her for a long time" said Mas Farhan.

Deg.

My heart ached when I heard Mas Farhan's words. But I appreciate his honesty. Because I'm also a woman who doesn't like lies. Better Mas Farhan be honest, even though my heart aches to hear it.

"You love him Mas?" I said with teary eyes.

"Yes Amira. But I also don't want to lose you Amira. Because I love you and the kids too. I don't want to separate you three."

I rise to my feet.

"I like your honesty. It is true, living in a household that should not be covered up. If you already love a woman, it means we are not true love anymore. You have desecrated the sanctity of our love by loving another woman" I said with my chest still rising and falling in anger.

Farhan was silent.

"I'm sorry Amira. But I can't lie to my own feelings" said Mas Farhan.

"Mas, I as a wife, do not want to plunge the man I love in the valley of sin. "

"You mean?"

"If you want to marry that woman, I'm sincere. Rather than you zina an eye, zina a heart, or any other adultery with that woman. I'm sincere if you want to marry again and have two wives."

Mas Farhan widened his eyes.he seemed to be in disbelief with my words. He then got up from his seat and approached me.

"You're sure you can be sincere if I get married again?" mas Farhan asked me.

I nodded my head.

"If Siti Aisyah was the wife of the prophet Ikhlas to be polygamous, why I as an ordinary person was not sincere. As long as religion doesn't forbid it, I'm willing for you to remarry."

Mas Farhan smiled. He kissed the back of my hand many times.

"I love you Amira. I'm sure that you're a very nice woman Amira. Thank you for letting me get married again"

I smile even though my heart is crying. Actually, I also do not want Mas Farhan to marry again. But I must vindicate him to remarry, to spare Mas Farhan from the sin of adultery, adultery, and other petty adultery. Because every day Mas Farhan met the woman in an assembly. It does not rule out the possibility that they are often close together.

Farhan is an ustadz. But he is also an ordinary man who cannot be separated from sin. It could be that one day his faith wavers and he does something strange with the woman. I don't want to let that happen.

I'd better let her marry again. He wants to be fair to me and the woman.

And also, heaven was wide open for a wife who was obedient to her husband. And I hope that getting my husband married again is my way of getting his paradise.

I let go of Mas Farhan's hand. After that I went into the house and walked to my room.