Istikharah
Attending a Husband's Wedding

"Darling, I want to talk to you. But you promise not to get angry, huh?" leon said a week ago.

"Aja by the way! You know, don't you? If I'm not good at getting angry," Arini replied with a smile looking at her husband.

Leon weighed in for a moment before finally saying, "I'm going to get married again. But I promise to be fair to you" Leon said solemnly.

Hearing that, Arini was like a lightning bolt. He who is in the postoperative recovery stage, immediately limp and pale. Luckily he did not faint. He was not prepared for honey.

But after weighing well, Arini finally accepted if she had to be in honey.

And this is the day that her husband's second marriage will be performed. She sat in front of the dresser mirror. Empty views. It seems to have no direction or purpose.

Her heart was so sick, six months ago she had to lose her uterus. As a result, he will not be able to have children. A week ago, her husband said he wanted to get married again.

"Honey. Is it finished yet? Let's go!"

It was Leon's voice from outside the room. The man was finished from earlier and is now choosing the most suitable shoe to use today.

"Yes, this is going out, really," said Arini in a soft voice.

Arini then went out of the room and found her husband was confused to choose shoes.

"Hey! You're so beautiful, anyway," teased Leon as soon as he saw Arini standing behind him. His wife was wearing a peach-colored robe and a wide, matching hijab.

After finishing choosing shoes, Leon then took Arini's hand to get out of the apartment and to the wedding ceremony.

While in front of the exit, Leon stops his steps and faces Arini. "I'm proud of you. And the more affectionate of course," said Leon while kissing the friendly Arini's forehead.

Arini just smiled stiffly.

"I promise. After getting married, it would be fair" promised Leon while holding Arini's shoulder and looking at her fixedly.

Unknowingly, Arini's tears flowed. He did not want to cry, but somehow suddenly his tears flowed.

"What's wrong with you, baby?" Leon gently rubbed the tears flowing down Arini's cheeks. "Until now I will always love you" said Leon softly. She hugged Arini tightly. Like not wanting to let go.

However, Leon remarried not because he did not love Arini. It's just that he really wanted to have children.

"Don't cry anymore, okay! I love you" whispered Leon gently. "I won't be able to see the woman I love shed tears" she continued, wiping the rest of Arini's tears using a tissue.

Arini tightly gripped her bag sling rope. I hope he gets his strength from nowhere. "I'm doing fine. Let's go. If we stay here too long, it can be too late" said Arini lirih with a trembling voice holding the pain in the heart.

Leon nodded and held Arini out. Happy journey to the parking lot, he never took off Arini's hand.

His love for Arini still thrives to this day. But his heart says it must be remarried right now, because to keep himself from committing adultery against Becca-the future wife of both.

Leon knows if his decision to remarry will hurt Arini. Especially now Arini is in the stage of mental and physical recovery. But Leon had no other choice. His heart says he should get married again now. Because right now he really wants to have children soon.

The wound in Arini's abdomen pacsa surgery has not dried, but he added a wound to his heart. Sometimes Leon feels guilty for Arini. But again he had no other choice.

Leon drives his car at a moderate speed. Even if it was a second marriage, she was still nervous. Even this is more nervous than when he wanted to marry Arini three years ago.

Leon comes to the wedding alone with Arini, because both of his parents live in Korea and can not go home because of work.

While Arini, from earlier he threw his gaze to the left window. His eyes were blankly staring at the streets. He does not want to attend this wedding, but Leon continues to insist on the pretext that he and his madman can be familiar.

Arini did not know what kind of woman Leon would marry. Because Leon has never introduced her. Even his name, Arini did not know. For all she knew, her honeymooners worked in the same company as her husband.

"Honey," call Leon as they stop at the red light.

Arini looked over without saying any words. Her forced lips drew a smile, even though she knew her smile was bound to fail.

"I deg-degan. Even more stubborn than our marriage used to be" said Leon Lirih while holding his chest.

Hearing that, Arini was eager to cry. His heart was felt in shreds by Leon. How not? Indirectly, Leon thinks he's ordinary, right? The proof was Leon said himself that his marriage was not this nervous.

Arini answered nothing. It was just a little smile that she gave to her husband.

"Yourf..." Leon exhaled and then breathed in the air slowly. "Darling, look. My hands are shaking" said Leon still staring at Arini as they were still at the red light.

"It's a green light" said Arini slowly. He was grateful that the lights immediately turned green. She felt saved because she did not need to respond to her husband's words anymore.

Both are silent again. Busy with each other's minds.

Arini was once a happy woman. However, ever since she learned that her husband was going to remarry, she became a very quiet and closed person.

But this was not realized by Leon. Because he was too busy with his marriage, so he did not realize the change in Arini's attitude.

Leon stopped his car in a minimalist house with flowers. In the yard even on the fence, many flowers grow diverse.

"Come, baby!" take Leon. He walked in first. And Arini followed him behind.

Arini really wanted to cry. How could he be told to go his own way without being held in captivity while being fragile like this? He even felt his eyes heat up.

Becca and Leon's wedding was very simple. They only invited a few guests. It consists of close family.

The atmosphere of the house also looks lonely because there are only a few guests.

"Arini, huh?" ask a middle-aged mother.

"Yes," replied Arini with a stiff smile.

"I'm Rania, Becca's mother. Let me take you to Becca's room. Becca had a message, she said that Arini had arrived, just taken to her room," said Rania while holding Arini's hand to Becca's room.

Arini can only resign himself to follow Rania's steps.

Arriving at Becca's room, the woman was on touch up. Looks like the make up show is over.

"Bak Arini, huh?" becca asked with a friendly smile. "It turns out to be more beautiful than the original photo" Becca said and immediately to Arini.

Arini could only smile awkwardly.

"Mama get out first, yeah. Look outside" said Rania and 'yes' by Becca.

Arini sits at the end of Becca's bed, while Becca herself sits in a dressing chair. The make up artist is still touching up her work.

Becca is only made up by one make up artist only. The wedding was very simple.

"We both wear peach colors, Ma'am," Becca said while playing her phone. "Bak Arini likes peach too?" ask Becca kindly.

"Yes," said Arini. He actually likes monochrome, but Leon often buys him colorful clothes.

"Mas Leon likes what food, Ma'am?" ask Becca.

"Soto betawi," replied Arini briefly.

"Bak Arini wants tauch up?" ask the make up artist once he has finished his work.

"No need. Thank you," Arini refused with a very forced smile.

Becca just kept asking Arini to talk about anything. Because he wants to try to approach Arini.

Soon, the wedding began. Throughout the event, Arini often lowered her head and closed her eyes, trying not to see or hear her husband saying kabul.

"Arini's sick?" whispered Rania who was sitting next to Arini.

"No, Aunt. I'm fine," replied Arini while forcing to smile.

"Related?" tanya Rania and nod by Arini.

The kabul ijab is over, Becca kissing Leon's back. And then Leon kissed Becca's forehead.

Accidentally Arini and Leon's gaze met. Arini immediately decided on that look and looked at the floor.

***

After the show, Leon tells Arini to go home alone. Because he's gonna stay at Becca's.

"Darling, you go home alone, yeah! I'm ordering a taxi online for you" Leon said, embracing Arini's shoulder. "Tonight I slept at Becca's. Tomorrow I go home," he continued.

Your clothes?

Arini almost asked like that, but not so because he knew for sure Leon and Becca had prepared everything well.

"Yes" answered Arini briefly.

"Bak Arini wants to go home, huh? Just take my car," said Becca who suddenly appeared from behind.

Realizing Becca's presence, Leon immediately released his embrace on Arini's shoulder. He didn't want to make Becca jealous.

"Arini rarely wants to drive, Honey. He'd rather take a taxi" replied Leon.

Arini smiled wryly staring at the floor, she did not expect the fate of her romance would be like this.

It turns out that they already have a dear call, Arini said in her heart.

"Early in order, mas? Poor little Arini, want to rest," said Becca.

"Already, really. It'll soon be there" said Leon, shuffling Becca's hair with affection.

Seeing that, Arini's heart was like in shreds again. I want to hurry back to the apartment and spill all the tears on my pillow.

"Sit, yuk! Don't stand still" Becca said, walking to the sofa.

Arini and Leon followed behind.

Arini had not been able to sit down, the taxi that was ordered had arrived. He then said goodbye to Becca, his mother, and Leon. Then after that get in the car.

Once in the car, Arini immediately cried. He threw his face into the left window so the driver wouldn't see it.

But unfortunately the driver knew that after accidentally seeing the middle spy.

"Bak cry?" ask the driver who is about three heads old.

"Oh. No. gabe. I have sore eyes, Mom. Don't look at it! Can be nular!" said Arini while looking down and wiping her tears using the back of her hand.

The driver could only nod and ask nothing more. He knows his customers don't want to be disturbed.

After arriving at his apartment, Arini immediately threw his body on the mattress. He was crying so much. The roll he made as an object to vent frustration.

Arini then sat on the mattress and slaughtered the poor bolster. In the broken and in the twisting of the roll.

He had read an article, that when we are not okay, do the impingement on the pillow or bolster. It would be better than us hurting anyone else.

"Why is my life like this? I have to lose my uterus and then I have to go to honey. Why should I?" arini said accompanied by a roaring cry. Anyone who hears will feel slashed to hear Arini's cry.

The loud noise on her phone did not make Arini stop crying. Even the sound of the ringtone was defeated by Arini's crying voice.

He continued to vent his frustration on the bolster, until the foam rolled into several pieces.

After a bit of calm, Arini sat on the floor while resuscitating his head on the bed. He closed his eyes tightly while twitching his throbbing temple.

The voice of Adzan magrib resuscitated Arini. He walked straight to the bathroom and then sanctified, and after that performed the magrib prayer.

After the magrib prayer, Arini checked her phone. It turned out that there were some missed video calls and a message coming in from Leon.

Leon: My dear, take care of your health, yes. I love you.

Arini had no intention of retaliating. He turned his phone into silent mode and put it on the nightstand, after which he went to sleep.

At two o'clock in the morning, Arini woke up hungry. He then headed to the kitchen to make toast and boiled eggs. After that, he ate slowly.

"I have to go to a psychologist. Don't let me sting because of this," muttered Arini while peeling the eggshell in a very slow motion.

I don't know why since a week ago he has lost strength. He often does things in very slow motion. Impressed not to intend.

After finishing filling the stomach, Arini immediately perform the prayers of isya and tahajut. Because he had not been able to sleep isya prayer.

In the silence of the night, Arini solemnly prayed. "Please open my heart, O God. Make me a strong woman" Arini wrote in her do'a.

Tears of pain flowed. Make his eyes blur. She wiped her tears with the back of her hand.

After performing worship and praying, Arini's heart became calmer. He could go back to sleep.