Love, Life, and Jennifer Season II
The new me...
"Why is mommy like this?! I don't like my mommy like this! I want mommy to be happy! Mommy makes me sad when it's like this... Mommy... Please, come back like the old mommy... Come back like the mommy I knew... I love you so much, mommy... Please please... Come back, and live happily..."
"JOEY!!!"
"Why, boy! What's up, baby?!" My mother was so worried about my current situation
I don't know!
Almost a year, after Joey's departure for good, this was the first time, I dreamed of my only son...
"Ma... Joey, mom... Joey!!!" My words were accompanied by sobs
My mother, who is currently giving me a glass of water, is now trying to calm me down
"Yes, kid... Take it easy, here, drink it..." Prattling
I then grabbed the glass filled with water, then took a sip.
"Take care of yourself first, yes... I'll start the story." Said my mother, rubbing my back
I cried again, without being able to say a word to my mother...
Yeah...
All I could do that night was, let myself get hurt...
Is correct...
I was really hurt, every time speech after speech was thrown from Joey's mouth, even through a dream, ringing in my ears...
That night, it really affected me for days, until one night, as I was about to go to the kitchen to fill my empty water bottle, I heard my mother's conversation with someone, via mobile call...
"Yes, pa... Mama's money is just enough to live a few more days here... You know, the cost of living here, ten times that of indo."
I heard carefully from behind the door of my mother's room, who was talking to my father, across the street
"Well, it's okay, we're pawns if that's it, Dad... What matters is that our son returns to his old self..."
Wait up!
Did I not hear wrong?!
A pawn?!
What are they going to mortgage?!
Silence, until I heard my mother sobbing...
"Mama just wants Jenny back to what she used to be, Dad... Hix... Hix... Mama, just... Hicks..."
Without feeling it, my tears came dripping, hearing my mother's words...
I want to go into this room, and immediately embrace the body of the woman I love most in this world, but...
Nah!
Not now!
Yeah!
Tomorrow, I'm going to tell my mom something!
*****************************
The next day, as usual, my mother, who had finished preparing breakfast, approached me to eat her homemade breakfast.
The soft caress of his fingers, which did not escape my hair and face, seemed to be a palanquin to me, and made me even more reluctant to open my eyes.
"Jenny, wake up yuk, baby... The breakfast is dead, though... Mama makes chicken noodles for Jenny... Jenny said, Jenny wants to eat chicken noodles, but mama made it..." My mother's words were soft
I was getting shuffled under the covers, remembering, the morning air here, always piercing up to my bones...
"Yeah... In a moment, ma..." I'm lazy
No matter what magic my mother used, until finally, it didn't take long, I had been in the presence of this really very tempting chicken noodle!
"Yeahhhh!!! This is great for sure!!!" I said with great enthusiasm
I glimpsed, my mother's eyes are a little puffy...
Of course I know what the cause is, only, I don't want to talk about it, because I really know my mother!
He is an expert in wound care...
Yeah!
If I notice, almost a year as we've been living in this country, the longer the body, the thinner it looks...
And honestly, those puffy eyes, almost every day I see them, it's just... I just realized it, ever since last night...
How foolish was I, so swept away in my own wounds, to not realize such a great thing!
Yeah...
In fact, my destruction also affected my family...
Even my mother who I used to always be proud of her beauty, despite her growing age, now looks no different, with women her age...
And myfather...
The last time I met him in person, two months ago, physically, it was no different than my mother...
Yeah...
Again, I am again the cause of every problem!
And I went back with the people closest to me, into the circle of destruction of my life!
"Well, where did you get the ingredients, ma?" I said while stirring the noodles that previously looked beautiful, to flatten the season
"Yesterday his son Aunty Claire who married an indo, bring mama by-the seasonings indo it, uh... Your inget a few days ago said you want to eat chicken noodles, yes already..." My mother smiled, stirring the noodles
I smiled, glancing at my mother's face, which, though I knew how hard she tried to cover up the sadness in her heart with a smile, was still clearly visible...
"Ma, it seems not very tasty, such as wanting to eat indo cuisine, we should really wait for souvenirs from people!" I said while eating this dish
"You mean?" My mother stopped eating, looking at me in wonder
"Yes, every time I want to eat some indo cuisine, I have to wait for her daughter-in-law Aunty Claire first, and not once a month! Plus, we can't keep them giving us souvenirs, ma..." I said, then put the noodles back in my mouth
"Mmmmmm-mom... Also, really!" My mother nodded, then went back to eating noodles
"You know, next time you want to eat Indo specialties, we just shop online, yes..."
"Deehhhh!!! Nay! Nay! No!" I interrupted my mother's words
"The price can be ten times, you know! Not to mention the shipping! Hadeeuh! No, ma! Don't!" My heart, then sip a full glass of water, as soon as I finish my meal
"Yes out, how else, son..." Said my mother with a look
"We're going home, ma'am! I'm still here, you know! After all, for the past three months, I've been out of psychiatry." I'm sure
My mother looked at me, as if she couldn't believe what I had just said...
Yeah...
Last night's events, as well as Joey's words, which though only through dreams, seemed to be a lash for me!
The whip made me realize that life is not about my destruction...
The whip that made me realize that I should not make people around me fall apart, because of my attitude, too...
The whip made me realize that life must go on, no matter what happens, I must face it...
"You mean..."
"The Swiss, all busy... Where there is time for me who is unemployed constantly, different the same in indo... There's Clara, there's Ginna, there's a lot!" I tried to convince my mother
"Are you sure, son?" Said my mother
I smiled, nodding vigorously, until my mother approached me, and hugged me tightly...
I knew so well that my mother felt so happy at this moment, it was evident from her smile, that even though there were tears there, they were tears of happiness!
"When do you want us to go home, son?" Said my mother, wiping the remaining tears in her eyes
"today? How's it?!" I said with great enthusiasm
"Where can! We'll have to clean up first, find a ticket first, buy souvenirs first!" My mother's protest
"Oh yes, yes! Ahahaha!!!"
Yeah... Today, in the end I can again see the look of happiness on my mother's face, even my father who we contacted through a video call, no less happy to see my current change...
This is the real cure for my pain, left behind by the only son I have in this world...
Seeing the happiness of my parents, in their twilight years...
And today, to the universe I swear, that I will face whatever the universe intends to do to me, without complaint, also without feeling like giving up!!!