Marriage of Debt Relay
*Chapter 15

"Hm .. You're this, Din. Sometimes, I feel that you are the little girl that you chose for me. But sometimes you change. Turned into someone I myself felt less inclined to reach you."

"And when that time came, I was terrified. I'm afraid you're going away from me, Dinda. You're the one who's gonna leave me, make me lose control and live as lonely as you were a moment ago."

Ilya said with a serious face. Dinda who listened to that also immediately put on the same expression as well. Surely, with a thousand confusions filling Dinda's head at the moment.

How not? Ilya's words just now suddenly made Dinda not understand everything. Benak Dinda who had been full of stories Ilya that was quite confusing, now increasingly confused again with the words Ilya who seemed to really need himself more than anything.

"Sister Ilya .. can speak more clearly and casually? I really can't understand what you're saying. The meaning you want to convey to me, seems to be very difficult for my mind to accept now. So ... please speak with a frank word so that I can understand it easily."

Ilya did not answer directly. Dinda's hand, which he had previously held, was now tighter and tighter, as if he was afraid that the hand could be released.

"Dinda ... actually .. I want to say that I'm so afraid of losing you. I don't know why, and I don't know since when. I don't know about that either. One thing is for sure, I want you to always be around me. Don't want you to leave me for any reason."

Ilya's words just made Dinda round her eyes. Really, those words made his heart startle. But, there was also a sense of happiness that he could somehow feel.

"Dinda, I seem very selfish, don't you think? Wanting to hold you back can kind of stay always by my side. In other words, I was impressed to force you to stay by my side even though you didn't like me and wanted to get away from me immediately."

"This shameless me is selfish, Dinda. I want to have you completely. Even though I know the limitations and shortcomings that I have. But I still try hard like a perfect person trying to pursue love. Though I am .... "

"Enough, brother! I know what you want to say. Don't keep saying that because I don't like you always saying the flaws you have. I've told you many times, don't bring your flaws when you talk to me. Because I have never seen anyone of any advantages or disadvantages, Brother Ilya. So, I don't want you to constantly be a weak man just because of the flaws you have."

"Being happy is simple. Enough to feel comfortable then we will feel happy. As for you anyway, no one forbids you to pursue your love, Brother. Perfect or not someone, still, he deserves love. Love is not physical, it is not wealth, it is not position. Rather, it is a subtle feeling that comes from the deepest heart. Can't be forced, can't force."

The explanation that Dinda gave excitedly made Ilya feel like she was getting light in the middle of the darkness. He was very pleased with Dinda's words just now. A signal of hope that can be ascertained if he will not be disappointed by Dinda. Therefore, he did not hesitate anymore to declare love so clearly now.

"Minda. Just now it was ... a sure answer signal, right? Mm ... will you accept if I ask to stay by the side forever?"

His mind still could not believe that Ilya had really changed. There was a small whisper that appeared in his mind, which said what if it was just mere speech. Not real.

But despite all that. Dinda's heart wants Ilya enough. She who somehow felt very comfortable together, also felt the warmth when the two of them, of course, wanted to stay with Ilya. In fact, he had also felt jealous when Ilya with other women. In fact, when Ilya told me about other women, Dinda felt uncomfortable.

Meanwhile, Ilya who still had not received a definite answer from Dinda, immediately said back. "Dinda, I love you. That's why I want you to stay by my side forever."

The speech instantly made Dinda's eyes perfectly round. 'Oh, my God, Dinda. How is it that you are even more surprised? It was clear before that he said he wanted you to be next to him. It's obvious that he has the same taste as you. Now, when he really declares love, why the shock? Your basis is .. dodol-dodol.' Dinda grumbled at herself inwardly.

Ilya who saw Dinda was restless was uncomfortable. In his heart he thought that Dinda might not be able to accept it because of the physical disability he suffered.

'Am I too confident to express this feeling? Why don't I think what he said was just to comfort me. Because all this time, I always said about the shortcomings I had. Maybe, therefore he always felt guilty and sorry for me if I had to hurt him with a rejection.'

'Oh my God .. I am afraid of rejection. But, I also do not want to live too long in uncertain circumstances. I wonder how she feels about me. I like him. Because of that, I wonder if the likes were reciprocated or just clapped one hand. Because if he doesn't like it, then I'm forced to let him go even though this heart feels very heavy.'

That was how the two of them both fell silent with their respective minds for a few moments. Until finally, Ilya's hand was weakened.

"Dinda, don't force your heart to agree. Because as you said before. Love cannot be forced. Therefore, I want an answer that is full of sincerity."

"If you don't feel the same way. Please don't give me false hope that will eventually make me even more sick in the wound. Because the pain first will feel lighter than the pain after too much hope, but only limited to expectations that are not real."

"Sister Ilya. I ... I want to try to live with you."

"Do not if you just have to. Because try, it won't be certain what the outcome will be, Dinda. It can be right, but it can be wrong."