My Ex
Chapter 3
15 Days after the break up
Nadine just woke up, she saw her phone, opened whatapp and she saw there was Arka status there. Nadine immediately sat down drowsiness disappeared somewhere. This is very rare, because Arka rarely makes status. His eyes were very focused on reading the series of statuses that Arka made.
Give me an answer
Uraikan Lah summing up
Let my soul calm
After a long time of love passed
Nadine pensive, ‘not this lyric song malay?’ inwardly, he resumed reading the status again.
It's impossible to forget
Our agreement
Under the bamboo grove
When the moon is clashing
Nadine began to wonder, she commented,
“what the heck, he wrote the song lyrics?” even though he himself often wrote song lyrics in status to quip Arka. Nadine read her last verse, she remembered some of the Arcan promises when they were together first.
Why did..this separation?
When romance flung its wings
Why did you leave at this moment in my heart
Engraved your name
If there is no soul mate
Especially my son's excited
I'm ashamed of my friend, at all.....
Nadine fell silent, she thought...
“the lyrics are rich for the cave, huh? Ah time anyway? Let alone he wrote this for Clarissa again, rich at that time, anyway they have been reversed, and the same cave he also finished.”
Nadine concluded, there is a strange feeling in his heart, whether it is difficult to explain, there is a feeling that makes him sick....
Why did...this separation happen????
Nadine continued reading, many Arka wrote the lyrics of this song.
Longs.
But you do not understand,
Pilu.pilu....
But you don't care
Nadine felt pain in her heart while reading this,
Embarrassed...
But what power, people do not want...
Want...
But what power, people already hate....
Nadine was pensive for a long time, she felt all these lyrics were fixed for her, did Arka deliberately do this? This partial? Nadine replied to Arka's status, she also seemed to make a counter status for Arka.
‘I never hate you, even if you hurt my heart, it’s could be’
Write Nadine, and go for a bath to get ready to go to work. Surprise in the morning. After the bath, Nadine felt like reading Arka status and then screenshot it, this is very rare.
But just now that this opened whatapp, that status had been erased just seconds after Arka saw her status, as if Arka had indeed deliberately shown that status to her.
Nadine was silent for a long time with so many questions, but she had no intention of asking him directly, because of her ego.
You knew? What makes love tick with time? Lovingly, giving and giving, without expecting to be given. Do you know what makes love die? The ego.
And this is what happened between Nadine and Arka.
***
This week Nadine did not meet Arka at all, this is good for her mental health for the next few days, after last week was so stressful. Nadine could be more free now.
Every afternoon, Nadine went to the back gazebo to sit back and relax. He remembered very well what he usually did there with Arka of course. He missed the afternoon like that.
Have you guys ever been like this? Trapped in the shadow of longing. Want to say but not right, not said tight in the chest. Nadine felt herself at a point of extraordinary stupidity.
Nadine wrote a lyric on her status,
Because you're like caffeine
I can't sleep all night,
My heart beats faster
I hate you
I tried to stay away
I'm trying to forget you
But
But I'm not in power
I can't do it
That's why you're so bad for me,
Like caffeine
Nadine let her status read Arka. Yes, Arka will read it, because all this time, Arka always saw what Nadine wrote on her sosmed. Nadine again made status on whatapp with a fragment of the song lyrics.
‘I was surprised to know I could be so hurt because of you,’
Nadine's writing managed to get Arka to contact her, Arka sent her a short message
From: Arka
‘Nadine, I'm sorry, I don't mean you're rich gini,’
Nadine raised her eyebrows reading the message.
“she called me again? For what? What the hell? This is just song lyrics,” said Nadine.
To: Arcs
‘apa? That's just song lyrics,’
After that Arka only replied with emoticons.nadine did not intend to reply again.
Nadine began to careless with her feelings that were already very troublesome according to him. Nadine plays her phone, opens YouTube who knows something can cheer her up. When times like this Nadine needs advice for herself.
Nadine type searched for a keyword ‘nasehat’, the results are immediately visible. His eyes trace the titles that if interesting for him to watch. Her eyes stopped in a video titled ‘best advice for you’. Nadine was curious, maybe he did need a ‘nesehat best for himself’ who is now being confused.
He put the earphones and played the video, he listened to a lecture that sounded very light with an easy listening discussion. Nadine went back to work, because the break was over.
***
After work, Nadine again repeated ‘nasehat’ that she heard earlier this afternoon, she wanted to listen more fervently without work interruptions. Nadine put herself to bed, put up earphones and started listening to ‘nasehat’.
Play
Give advice in a polite way and do not hurt the feeling of being advised, have we ever heard someone who when advised he even replied, saying,
“apaan lu, sok-sokan nasehatin gua” especially if the nasehatin it ‘mantan’, which yesterday was not done...
Nadine smiled at the advice, feeling herself being overwhelmed by what the adviser said. Sometimes he is too indifferent to the advice of others, and considers that others have no right to comment on anything about his life. Nadine was aware of his ego, even though the fact of an advice is a good thing.
When someone feels disappointed heavily, usually do you like to vent in status huh? ‘you're not everything to me’, ‘just go you’ or whatever the languages that show severe disappointment. Or at the lightest he will say ‘hasbi Allah, enough for me Allah, do not need another,’ well if suddenly this is, there must be something. Usually if the abis is cut off, right?
Nadine felt like she had just been slapped when she heard this. He remembered, when his heart was wounded yesterday, to whom did he complain? Allahs. When his heart was broken, he remembered his Lord again. And he also really showed his disappointment percis as described by the advisor, namely through the impingement of language disappointed in status. Nadine was more and more interested in listening to this advice.
Now we will discuss about the content of Surah Al-Ashr, where the contents of which there is a verse that says ‘indeed the man is really in loss, except those who believe.’
Anyway surah Al-Ashr is the answer to 1001 problems deh, let's examine one by one means. Why does God say that man is a loser? Because many of the human traits are detrimental.
Humanity, right, if I have a grudge?
Human if I am angry?
Mausiawi, right if I am disappointed?
Very human, because humans are weak, easy to baper, likes to complain, and ego.
THE PLAQUE!
Okay, Nadine slapped again, listening to this as if the counselor was talking to her, as if she knew that Nadine was baper, angry, disappointed by Arka. Nadine began to realize little by little, if she relied too much on her human side without considering anything else. He is too weak.
If you rely only on the human side, it will not be enough to be happy. Must be upgraded to a mirror. So that it can be more resilient.
Therefore the Prophet said, ‘ajaban li amri mukmin’ is amazing affairs of believers. Because all the affairs of the believers are good. If he gets a favor he is grateful, if he gets a disaster he is patient.
That guy's irritable, you know? Apologize.
Why is it so hard to forgive the mistakes of others? ‘enak aja has made me hurt I am sorryin’ right? Because he's too human.
Why do you forgive easily? Because he believes that if he forgives the mistakes of others, God forgives him at least 10 times.
Do we need to apologize from God? Do we have sins? Learn faith, learn to trust God.
The believer will be easy to recover his human nature.
The human being who is too human is a grudge, can not forgive HIS EX, he said,
Be a believer in the former.
Nadine got another slap in a row, do you remember the many sins she had committed, so why was her heart so crowded just because of one Ark mistake? Was his heart so narrow that this breaking incident left him instantly congested?
Nadine feels she must forgive Arka, is not the cure for a wounded heart is forgiveness? Is not the way to escape from the chest tightness is to weld?
Nadine was pensive, how bad was Arka's fault with her? Until he felt so disappointed and so angry? Is it just because Arka prefers Clarissa to her?
God knows better what is best for you, you may hate him when he is very good for you, you may like him, but he is very bad for you.
Nadine recalls that advice again. He took a deep breath, a lot of feelings raging within him. If indeed God did not intend to unite himself with Arka, then why they were met and why there was this kind of feeling among them.
Because the likes are sometimes not meant to be together.
We never meet the wrong people, only sometimes there are friends, some are lessons. All is God's destiny, be patient...
God will not take anything from you unless God replaces it with something better.
“ya Allah if this is the path you have chosen for me, I beg you to open this heart, fill it with patience, forgiveness and sincerity, hopefully there is good in it. O Allah, reward your servants in this calamity and replace them with better ones. Aamiin..” Nadine prayed for the healing of her heart.
Since that day, Nadine has been so fond of listening to advice. Little by little he rose from a sense of slump, his wounds gradually recovering. But still every time he saw Arka there was still a look of hate there, a look full of regret. Nadine learns from day to day to renew herself.
The new version of Nadine
Nadine felt herself getting more excited, and more cheerful. I am sure that everything in this world will be immortal. All will go and never come back unless do’a.
Man could have abandoned him, man could have thrown him away, but God did not. God will always be there for him, maybe it's time for Nadine to return to her Lord, correct past mistakes, let everything that has happened be a whip for her.
As a reminder of the mistakes he made. He thought about how it was related to the Ark. His heart secretly acknowledged that God was so kind to him, separated him from the wrong people, saved him before his heart fell too deep in the wrong place.
“When your heart has too much hope in someone, God has placed on you the pain of hope, so that you may know that God is very fond of hearts that hope other than Him. So Allah prevents you from that matter so that you return to hope to Him” - Imam Shafi’i
“thank you for letting me down, from you I learned not to wish on man, but on God,” Nadine whispered as if she were speaking to Arka, and as if Arka could listen to her.
Isn't the best revenge to make yourself better?
The storm that raged since a few days ago began to subside, the sea water began to move with waves that were not as strong as yesterday. The skipper could sail his ship more calmly. The sky was no longer as dark as yesterday, a brighter light was seen behind the clouds.
....
This morning Nadine took breakfast with more servings than before. He felt very hungry today, and his energy had to be fully charged. Nadine pulls out the empty seat in front of Erika and April.
“morning!” greet Nadine spirit
“oh, hi to Dine,”
“morning Dine,” reply Erika and April together.
The two looked at her for a moment then noticed Nadine who started to greedily eat her breakfast. The second view seems to say, ‘Nadine has healed?’. It's nothing, they know exactly what happened to his best friend the other day. Nadine who is like an undead has healed into a normal human being again?
“Dine, have you healed?” April opened her voice noticing Nadine's brighter face today.
“cured? What do I get sick with?” Nadine feeds back a spoonful of her purplish food.
“sick what? Heartache, who yesterday rich zombies left dead the lover has returned to being a normal human?” sindir Erika, considering Nadine who has been talking a lot about Arka on her.
“oh it? Calm down, I have not thought too much of it, besides good I also broke up with him, he was too..” Nadine speech cut off April.
“udeh, eat first, do not bother to vent early in the morning,” goda April, Erika just laughed in response to April speech that is true.
Nadine blushed in embarrassment and continued eating.
Nadine's plate is completely depleted left, slippery. Like a person who has just eaten after a long, tiring journey. April and Erika made him gawk . ‘wah crazy, Nadine why suddenly change this way?’
They remember Nadine yesterday. Let alone the net until slippery so, exhausted a portion of Erika and April bet whether Nadine will be able to eat up to half a portion or give up on the 3rd bribe.
April shook her head in astonishment and amazement with Nadine who seemed to have found an antidote for her heart. Erika unceasingly cheered Nadine on with a very burning, she felt happy finally Nadine could smile and ‘normal’ back.
But not just there. In Nadine's heart it was as if something was stirring. His relationship with Arka was still very awkward. Nadine tries to open her heart to forgive him as if yesterday's incident was nothing. But every time he saw Arka, Nadine always felt tense and uncomfortable.
It's true people say, meeting the ex is the same as meeting the devil.
Nadine wants her relationship to be fine, but her heart seems heavy to accept Arka to be her friend, or even just a co-worker. Nadine is heavy-hearted. If he could choose, Nadine wanted to go away and no longer see Arka, maybe he would consider all this just a dream.
***
Arka tidied some files on the corner table, then sucked them back into the shelf. He continued to check the sample of each division alternating from one to the other. Lately Arka more silent than usual, not infrequently he daydream when working.
“Arka, you entered the wrong data, you check how the hell?” namel Zidan's his division's partner.
Arka did not serve Zidan, Zidan pecked annoyed.
“heh! Why the hell you, a lot of daydreaming work, this is also data on the back, focus dong. Lu lemes is so rich abis break up aja,” Zidan's speech fit once felt like an arrow piercing right on the target. Arka stopped her activities, turned to face Zidan with a dazed face no matter what she thought.
“hah? What?” arka said not focused.
“ck, you why the hell, lately you a lot of ga focus, rich people dazed, you cut off with Nadine?”
Jem!
Once hit in the heart of Arka, make Arka dead lice. He silently looked at Zidan and lowered his gaze choosing to look at the ballpoint in his hand, playing it with a huff. Zidan watched Arka, surprised by her response.
“Ka, are you serious? Breakup?” zidan made sure.
“hm,” Arka muttered yes, not until the heart yes answer that question clearly.
“wah, shocked cave, yesterday still romantic, nothing know tau break up. Ko can? When?” Zidan was curious, because he knew their relationship was never a problem, even Zidan had never seen them fight. Arka had no intention of answering, she breathed her rough.
“gua to the back first take the goods,” Arka directly go to leave Zidan, lazy to serve.
Zidan looked at the back of Arka who left just like that, he shrugged his shoulders cluelessly and chose to continue his work, moreover he had to rearrange the wrong data entered Arka.
Arka went to the back, he deliberately chose the road that would indeed cross Nadine's place. He secretly stole a look at Nadine. Slowed her steps and as if she wanted Nadine to look at her, but Nadine did not look at her at all. Arka sighed disappointed, he did not know whether Nadine did not see him or accidentally did not see him.
Arka arrived at the goods storage on the back shelf, he took the red map and immediately returned to its place before Zidan followed him backward. Arka deliberately turned her way past Nadine's place.
At least Nadine wanted to see it, even if she wouldn't return her smile.
Arka slowed her pace, deliberately stopping at Erika's place which incidentally next to Nadine's place. Arka began to talk with Erika, erika without any thoughts of anything against some questions Arka which is actually just a stale talk.
Sometimes he watched Nadine with his eyes.
Nadine did not respond at all, she remained focused on her work, her ears were attached to earphones, no matter what she was listening to. Arka looked at Nadine with disappointment. Don't look at it, just glancing at it doesn't.
Arka left from where Erika returned to her division, her head bowed for a moment. ‘Nadine really angry with me,’ Inner Arka sad.
After Arka left, Nadine slammed the goods in annoyance, making Erika surprised.
“woi! Relax ma'am relaxed..bikin shocked aja lu, why si,” protest Erika stroked her chest surprised by Nadine's behavior. Nadine did not serve Erika at all.
“fucking, what the hell he wants, a lot of behavior!” as if Nadine was upset with Arka's behavior.
Because all day Arka had somehow paced in front of Nadine, making her upset.
At first Nadine did not think anything, when she knew Arka would pass, Nadine always pretended to be busy, turning her eyes away from Arka. Once, twice, until many times like before, Nadine was annoyed. He knew Arka did it on purpose. Because if it passes through its place, it is the same as it must turn the road.
After work Nadine has stood by in front of the gate, queuing to go home with other workers. Nadine stepped back a few steps so as not to get too close to the person in front of her. His back was held back by someone, Nadine's reflexes twisted her body because she felt it had hit the person behind her.
“eh so...rry,” said Nadine was slow to realize who she was a nudge,
“eh, hi. Yes gapapa,” Arka smiled kindly in response to Nadine.
Nadine rolled her eyes irritated, she felt fed up with Arka's expression as if there was nothing wrong with her. Nadine threw away her face, not wanting to serve the Ark.
“basar ga tau self, there are yes people who have done so wrong, still have a face to face using the expression of watados so,” muttered Nadine very very slowly.
Nadine thoughtlessly, after Arka had built her wish, then suddenly left her, and now left with another woman, breaking her heart just like that, she said, now innocently still without knowing he looked at her with such a smile?
Arka was surprised by Nadine's response, who looked at Arka as if she had seen the most disgusting thing in the world. Arka did not understand, that was not the response he wanted. Nadine has never been as’galak’ before, even though she only intended to be friendly, Arka did not want to linger ‘cold war’ like this as if she was hostile to Nadine. But it seems Nadine already hates him, rejecting him outright.
***
Nadine recoiled after performing Isya’ prayers, she pondered for quite a while, recalling some of the advice she had heard the other day. Nadine sighed furiously, she did not want to behave like that at all to Arka, but when she saw Arka, Nadine seemed to see her mistakes first, and it made her feelings very indescribable.
It feels like Nadine is normal like Arka who behaves ‘ has no wrong’, but Nadine can not be so. He was too honest with his feelings.
Will not enter heaven a person who is hostile to his brother and deliberately cut the cord of friendship.
Forgive the faults of others, and God will forgive you,
When you are in trouble with someone, do not think who is wrong who is right, but who first wants to apologize/forgive.
Nadine was pensive for so long, never did Nadine feel this heavy to forgive someone, but she felt like she had not been crushed either. It felt like he also wanted Arka to feel what he felt. Dumped and abandoned and prefer the others. Nadine breathed a tired feeling.
But on the one hand he is very uncomfortable with situations like this, especially they are still in one place of work. Still fortunately Clarissa is not one place to work too, if the three of them are one place, it feels Nadine better to choose to go as far away than to see the former with her new partner. Suddenly he remembered the counsel's words at the end of his advice.
If we have the same problem as the ex how? It's heavy, huh?
Do we need to connect the relationship with the ex?
NO NEED...WHY? he is just the past, has escaped, now focus on asking God for forgiveness for our past dating sins. May God forgive us.
Why not build a good relationship again? Because even though our intentions are good, but our intentions are good ridden by Satan. Emang wants to still be overshadowed by the former, continue to baper again, even though he is the same as others, is that not really good huh?
Nadine strongly agreed with the advice, her heart agreeing to it. It seems like the best option. Because that way he can take care of his feelings, and he also does not want any more heart hurt, be it between himself, Arka or Clarissa though.
Besides, while Arka still notices him, does not stay away from him and does not hate him, Nadine feels that it is enough. What else can you expect from a broken relationship like this?
Because the heart will only lean in one direction, it is impossible in both directions. If it is leaning east, then it will be away from west, and vice versa it is not possible to lean both ways at the same time.
Nadine is trying to accept her destiny, she has to know her position.
***
“Nad, you're called the leader, just go to his desk,” Johan said in the morning when Nadine just kept her bag in the locker.
“oh?! O.ok ntar I went there,” Nadine feels strange, what's so early the boss has called her.
Throughout the window he thought of the reason his boss was looking for him this early.
The table the boss looked straight in front of his eyes, the closer he saw Boss Sam the clearer. But there was something strange, Sam looked at him with an intimidating sharp gaze. Nadine's feelings began to feel bad, what's wrong?, Nadine's mind is not calm.
“morning boss, earlier call me?” nadine asked as calmly as possible, he felt that something was wrong.
“iya, sit.” Sam pointed to the chair in front of his desk. Nadine sat down.
“so, just go straight. The reason I called you this early in the morning to ask for your answer. Yesterday I checked your work, I want to ask...you always check the goods before you work?” Sam begins to interrogate Nadine, making her nervous.
“eeenngh, check...What's wrong Sir?” nadine asked, beginning to worry.
“if you check, why can this report be on me?” Sam thrust a piece of paper in front of Nadine.
Nadine read it carefully. There was a mistake he had made that was the reason why he was called boss this early.
“try to explain if indeed you check the goods why you can combine the right model item with the left model, do you not know the model? All items listed are misplaced. Nadine, how many times have I warned you that it is mandatory to check the goods, if this is who wants responsibility? If there are only one or two errors I can still hide, but if there is already one list like this how should I hide? We will all have problems if this is the case,” Sam entertain Nadine in the morning with a series of complaints in the morning, making Nadine's mood is damaged in this sunny morning.
“because this is a serious offense, sorry Nadine I can not help you, I have to issue a warning letter. And maybe this will result in your bonus in the next month.” Said Sam while thrusting a sheet of warning form that Nadine had to fill out.
Without many words, Nadine just silently listened and observed the form proffered to her. Whoa, fuck me. Inner Nadine.
“actually why did you get it so wrong? Until there is one list anyway?” ask Sam curious, because although Nadine often makes mistakes but never up to a list like this.
“i also do not know sir, maybe I am thinking a lot, lately I do feel tired also because it is difficult to sleep.” I'm Nadine, I'm not entirely wrong.
“indeed what the hell that makes you a lot of mind to not focus so, wonder me. This, you fill out the form, because inevitably you still have to get punished for your actions that harm the company.” Said Sam.
Nadine inevitably filled out the form, it was a really bad morning, ruined her working reputation because of this. This mistake is not the first, but if this is the case there will definitely be an effect on the bonus later, or worse in will get monitoring from his superiors, and this is bad news.
‘morning is great Nadine’ sings to himself for his stupidity.
After that Nadine worked as usual, but this time she was really focused. Even he was completely unaware of Arka who was pacing to his place. He's too busy today. Arka watched Nadine silently, knowing that something was wrong with the girl. Nadine worked very carefully as usual.
Feeling noticed, Nadine raised her head and accidentally met Arka, making the two immediately hit by awkwardness. Arka threw a smile at Nadine and raised her hand about to wave, but Nadine quickly turned her gaze back down and did her job again.
‘hgg damn, please, do not make the mood more ugly,’ inner Nadine.
Nadine wrote a status on her whatapp
‘ya Allah protect the servant from the temptations of the damned Satan, both from the jinn and from the class of MAN’