My Ex
Chapter 4

That night Nadine just busy herself with her phone. Play some videos on YouTube to eliminate his saturation. He misses Arka, if only they were still together, now Arka must be calling her to talk about things that comfort her.

One thing Nadine really likes about Arka, the man was very good at improving the mood of Nadine who had been like a storm in the ocean with a lot of lightning became like a beautiful flower field with rainbows and clear skies. Nadine was never disappointed with the way Arka entertained her.

But now there's no more such thing. Nadine sighed, her mind began to drift far away, imagining Arka who was now cool with Clarissa, making Nadine's heart start to heat up.

Nadine feels very tired today, she intends to take the MC tomorrow. Nadine needs rest for her body, mind and heart. Especially lately the work is very piled up making it difficult to breathe.

‘*bad day, tired of this self*,’

Write Nadine on her whatapp status. A few minutes later, a message came in.

Arka: why? Today it seems like a huge mummy.

Nadine was silent for a long time reading Arka's message. Always so, when he missed and thought about Arka, somehow Arka must have contacted him shortly. Like at the moment.

Slowly his longing was slightly treated, a knotty smile was drawn on his face. Even just like that Arka has raised the mood of a Nadine.

Nadine: just cape, today the feeling nothing is right. Early in the morning I had problems.

Nadine complained to Arka. One that makes Nadine feel very lost from the figure of Arka is the side of Arka who is like a friend confided in her. They exchange stories a lot, exchange ideas like best friends. So when Arka left, Nadine felt lonely. He felt the loss of his confiding friend.

Arka: early in the morning? What problems?

Nadine: yes it is, ordinary. I misplaced the model, so got scolded.

Arka: oh, again?

Arka knows, Nadine often makes mistakes compared to other colleagues. He was a little careless.

Nadine: yes. But this is bad, I made one of the lists. So get a warning letter.

Arka: seriously? Wow you got SP. Ko can get one list, you work while you sleep?

Nadine: yes no, yes sleep time. -_-. Cape cave, lots of thoughts too.

Arka: think what? Yeudah rest

Nadine was furious with Arka. Sometimes Arka even though she knows what the cause is, she always pretends not to know. I want it to feel like Nadine is yelling at Arka if it's all because Arka broke her heart.

Arka: I'm sorry

Nadine: sorry for what?

Arka: I felt wrong, about yesterday.

Nadine felt a little anxious, it seemed like Arka began to discuss a topic that Nadine did not want to discuss at all.

Nadine: oh, yaudah relax, besides I am also self-conscious, I love you compared to your girl. I’m just nothing.

Arcs: hmm...

Arka: sorry, I also did not know you would be complicated like this, sorry.

Nadine: just relax. I'm gapapa. Just a shock, if what I've been worried about turns out to be the case as well. Don't think too much, not things to think too, make money, dizziness yes.

Arka: hahaha yes si, really. Btw be patient because you get SP.

Nadine: yes, thanks to my boss. Laper me.

Arka: laper eat it cook there.

Nadine: ah malezzz..malem-malem gini cook, want to eat me anyway.

Arka: that is, you are that

Nadine: what?

Arka: yaaa males mulu

Nadine: yes hehe, you know. Arka is the best haha. It's the cave again eating bread, laper boss.

Arka: yes, that's it. Fortunately there is something to eat, if there is no you, already skinny getting thinner. That's the vitamin I've been packing on yet? Not drunk?

Nadine was flabbergasted, she just remembered the vitamin. Vitamins that Arka gives for him as appetite-boosting vitamins. Because Arka knows, Nadine is a little difficult to eat, too much mager. Making Arka anxious with Nadine who is difficult to eat.

Nadine: oh yes vitamins, forget me. sorry. Lu anyway ga ngingetin, try if every malem you ingetin me before going to bed for sure I drink.

Arka: habits, if that continues when to be fat?

Nadine: hehehe, uh there's no test? It's raining here, cold, my boss... >.<

Arch: wah...best it is for ‘ehem-ehem’ wkwkwkwk

Nadine: what the fuck you, dimeh -_-, a lot of lightning tau..

Arka: well, better yet, try to record, I want to see the lightning flash.

Nadine: ogah banget, entar gua kesamber petir gimana ceritanya coba.

Arka: calm down my boss, there is a hospital ahaha

Nadine: aah fuck you, so mean

Arka: ehehe, once evil gapapa right...

Nadine: yes once evil, but once evil prick so far until heartache, my heart aches.

Reference: -_-

Checkmate. Nadine quipped Arka blatantly. After that, there was no conversation between them. The clock is at 12:30 p.m., it's past midnight. Time to rest, it feels like tomorrow Nadine will not be able to get up from her bed, her shoulders and neck are very sore.

Nadine's heart begins to warm after chit-chat with Arka. He was happy, finally Arka no longer silenced him. If in front of the eyes of Nadine looks hate him, but deep down Nadine very badly wants Arka.

“finally there is a gap, as if I am not too awkward anymore if in sosmed.” Nadine murmured before falling asleep.

***

Since the break that day, Nadine felt Arka had contacted her more often. Whether it is an important issue about work, or unimportant things. Nadine did not mind if what was discussed were things that she thought were important, but sometimes she felt surprised, if Arka contacted her only for trivial things.

Nadine did not bother about the problem, what was Arka's motive she did not think too much about it. According to him, separation does not mean being a separation wall between them. ‘As long as he is kind and polite to me, the cave will keep him alive. Although he's ex.’ Nadine's Principles.

Anyway come to think of it, it would be unfair if Nadine hated Arka just because they broke up and Arka left with another woman. It is tantamount to exaggerating one problem and ignoring the virtues that Arka has made for himself first.

Nadine just needs space for herself to feel neutral again. And it seems like this is okay. Even if the effect is like communicating secretly. But so far it's safe. At least when at work, Nadine is no longer confused how to behave when in front of Arka.

Little news about the breakup of their relationship was known by his co-workers. Not because they spread the news, but his friends feel that there is something different with Nadine and Arka that is getting longer as usual. They no longer often sit together at rest, or no longer sit together at breakfast, when they go home always each. Even when passing by, there is no reprimand spoiled like before.

But his friends did not make this news frenzied, when they already knew, they did not ask Arka or Nadine much. Because Arka and Nadine are very uncomfortable with people who care about their personal affairs.

That afternoon, Nadine was made curious about the status of Arka. He v*capture*a writing that tells about the obstacles of someone getting married. He poured out his heart impliedly there. But Nadine understood, Arka's relationship with Clarissa must be in trouble.

Because it is impossible for Arka to make such a status if there is nothing. But Nadine won't interfere, it's none of her business. What if they fight? It has nothing to do with Nadine.

Except the cause was because he made Clarissa jealous and provoked a fight between the two. Maybe Nadine will be happy.

‘EH..oops..’ Inner Nadine, felt her mind was too far away.

Suddenly Nadine recalled the first time she went with Arka, her first impression with an Arka.

Flasbacks...

This is a story where Arka and Nadine are still friends, just ordinary friends.

Saturday was a bright afternoon. Cloudless sky and excellent mood. That day Nadine went to accompany Arka shopping for clothes to a mall. They sat at a fast food restaurant for lunch together.

The first impression of the Ark on Nadine.

‘turned out he was cool too if invited to chat like this, very different if at work, cuek abis. She has the same fashion sense as me. If she is an independent and smart girl, several times I chat with her already rich know old, but only a few days ago we deket.’

While Nadine's first impression on Arka,

‘hmm pretty also ni guy, kirain he pendiem turned out to be a bad tassel too. Good, cute. He also has a lot in common with me, no wonder I immediately familiar with him.’

“Arka, what do you think if I continue *study*?” nadine asked for an opinion.

“hmm yes good, science is important, besides you are also sinter, I am sure you can enter the University. What else do you want to study? It's working,”

“ya..pengen aja, I emang kepo that right, want to learn more, let a lot of science.” Arka nodded her head in agreement, I know Nadine likes to learn new things. It's not unusual for Arka to see Nadine.

talk about something he doesn't know, but Nadine does. That's one of the charms that Arka likes from a Nadine. Arka learned a lot from Nadine, even though Nadine was actually 3 years younger than him.

“already, I support you if you want to continue *study*, while still young, yes,” Arka smiled broadly in support of Nadine's wishes.

“but if I continue to learn, I will resign from the company and will move away from here, maybe not back again.” Nadine's words made Arka eliminate her smile, she was confused what to respond to.

“hmm why do not enter Univ here, can be while working also.”

“gue already nyari and I am not interested, because the majors I want are not here, maybe I will study abroad, so I again *prepare* now.” Nadine drank her cola casually unaware of the change in Arka's mimicry which was a little sad to hear Nadine's decision.

Arka is interested in Nadine, she wants to know more about this girl. Because according to him Nadine was*limited edition*. Arka was silent for quite a while.

“but I seneng got your rich temen, you understand me, so I'm comfortable if you tell me many things just like you, from the ga important until the important thing,” I Nadine honestly.

“iya, I also.” Arka smiling implied something in her heart.

“lu promise yes, so my friend at least until my work contract runs out, before I go to study again, promise? Temenin me during work here.” Nadine extended her hand.

“appointment.” Arka greeted Nadine's hand straightforwardly.

“oke deal,” Nadine smiles knot.

“emm...Nad, there's something I want to talk to you,” Arka lowered her voice, sounds more serious. Nadine looked at Arka waiting for her sentence to continue.

“eerr..gimana ya say it,” Arka scratching his nape that does not itch, he became clumsy himself.

“what the? By the way, relax aja sir,” goda Nadine saw Arka awkward himself.

“hmm, but if I talk now, the power is too cepet.” Arka looked straight at Nadine's bead. Made Nadine confused by his gaze.

“emm, what is it? You also saw me on that cake, suspicious of me.” Nadine averted her eyes, she felt a strange feeling coming in her second.

“hahaha, just a minute, let's continue the road. Temenin I choose clothes,” Arka laughs amusedly at Nadine's response which he thinks is funny.

They go back for a walk around the mall looking for clothes and some stuff, *it’s shopping day*.

Actually Arka wanted to tell Nadine about her feelings, but she ignored her intentions because it felt *timing* was not fitting. From that day on Arka was bound by a promise with Nadine to remain good friends, no matter what, at least until Nadine finished her contract.

Flasback...

Nadine remembers her promise clearly. That means there are about 5 months before his contract is actually completed. But what if things were already like this they would still be able to make good friends? Without any feelings coming back??

Nadine bit her lips nervously. He thought for a moment. What's Arka doing to her lately just because she wants to keep a promise? Because he knew, Arka still noticed him, still often contacted him, and still friendly with him. Is it all nothing but ‘janji’? or maybe just because of *feeling guilty*? Does that have nothing to do with Arka's personal feelings for her? Nadine guesses what motive Arka still cares about her.

.....

God will not give trials beyond the ability of his servant,’

‘the promise of God is said 2 times, with difficulty there is ease, with difficulty there is ease.’

\*\*\*

Nadine squirms quietly on her bed, it's Sunday. And he casually went back to sleep after dawn. Nadine wakes up, grabs her phone looking at the clock.

10.30am

Nadine immediately sat down after looking at the clock, patting her head only to realize something.

“mampus me! Late nih...” Nadine noisily himself immediately informed his friends. Because he already has an appointment to go *shoping* with his friends during the day.

Nadine snatched the towel and went to take a shower. They should have left at 11, but Nadine had just finished bathing, she had not ironed the clothes she was about to wear, not to mention Nadine was confused herself to wear what clothes today.

After an hour had passed, Nadine hurriedly got out of the elevator as her friends were already waiting for her in the lower garden. Nadine looks very casual. The long sleeved shirt of army color and blue jeans, and what makes it different now is a green cloth that he wears covering his head.

“hai, sorry long wait huh? Really ngaret me, *sorry* yes..” said Nadine once arrived at the park. Salma gawked at Nadine's performance.

“eih...who is it? Tumben wear hijab, kirain lu longer and and straighten hair,” said Salma who either praised or insinuated it.

“ehehe yes, penitent lah, want to be a good boy.” Nadine said with a smile showing her serikinya teeth.

“Alhamdulillah, nice so Nad, beautiful.” Praise Sarah honestly. Makes Nadine blush.

They left before the sun got higher. Nadine actually intends to give new clothes, she is looking for a dress. A little bit Nadine started to change. A lot of him was pensive about what he had experienced. He knew that everything that happened could not be a coincidence, because for him there was no coincidence in this world. All is by God's will and destiny.

What had happened to him had truly become a whip for her. He felt he had woken up from his long sleep. Nadine is aware now, ever since she dated Arka many of her nature turned into like she was not. At least he forgot his duty to his Lord. All the time, his mind, and his heart were so full of Arka, as if there was no place for anything else.

Nadine begins to understand why God separated her from Arka. He realized, it turns out that Nadine had been playing too far and did not remember the way home.

When you play around on the edge of the abyss, it is likely that you will fall into it. And when you're saved in a very rude way even if you get hurt. You don't deserve to blame the person who saved you, do you?

They arrived at the train station to the capital. Nadine felt a little bit all her memories with Arka spinning alternately. Nadine looked at the station with a deep look to her mind.

***flasback-1***

Nadine sat next to Arka in the car. Nadine deliberately looked at Arka, making her misbehave. Nadine felt funny seeing Arka blush.

“tapan you tuh endanger tau ga?” said Arka blushed in shame.

“what? Dangerous you think the cave gaze there is a deadly laser,” Nadine chimed in origin.

“not that, your gaze seduces faith,” Arka smiles flirtatiously making Nadine a dead tick now.

***flasback-2***

Nadine bent her face, she was upset not playing because she had been waiting for Arka for so long. 2 hours already she waited. If the train came before Arka, Nadine would not want to wait for him again, he would immediately go up first and leave Arka.

But it turns out Arka was so lucky when she came before long the train arrived at the station. Nadine snatches an annoyance, during the journey Arka unceasingly apologizes hoping Nadine is devastated. Because Nadine was not only upset waiting but she was also upset because yesterday she had heard the confession of Arka who was still waiting for Clarissa to return.

They arrived at the restaurant for lunch. Not a word Nadine said. Nadine's facial features are really scary now, Arka shudder slowly at seeing Nadine. ‘wrong what I'm trying to’ Inner Arka is confused to face Nadine who is angry with her.

“yang, let's eat first, new time eat 2 mouthfuls don't want to eat again. Don't worry,” Arka is anxious also see Nadine sulking.

He patiently helped Nadine cut her food, Arka scooping a mouthful of rice.

“nah, let's open his mouth, if you don't want to eat let me who bribe,” said Arka softly.

Nadine's heart suddenly ached, her mind began far. ‘begini ya you used to be the same Clarissa if your girl cuddled, now you're the same I'm like this too, too,’ inner Nadine feels chaotic imagining how Arka with Clarissa used to be.

“Nadine dear, eat first..” refer Arka,

“we broke up,” immediately Nadine's speech took Arka in shock,

Arka's gaze changed, I don't know. Arka looks angry, disappointed, surprised, sad and a little frustrated. His face is so difficult to describe. Arka put the spoon roughly.

“ko you say that anyway? You're angry because of the cave late dateng? The cave is sorry..” Arka did not accept Nadine's words.

“not that, but about yesterday too. About Clarissa..” Nadine lowered her gaze, preferring to look at the end of her shoes under the table.

“sayang...gua says it's just ‘*if we've already discussed it yesterday..please..’ persuade Arka to grab Nadine's hand, but brushed it off roughly.

“hmm..gue should think about our relationship again, I feel uncomfortable now,” honest Nadine. He knew Arka was angry now, visible from her sharp gaze.

“Nadine, please.don't do that, my heartache horrified him,” Arka confirmed his voice, Nadine just speechless.

“instead of that mending lu aja heart cave all you satisfied,” Arka speech makes Nadine look at him with wonder, look sad look there makes Nadine heartless, not hearty,

“maaf...gue Just still do not receive the same recognition you yesterday,” said Nadine softened.

...

Flasback-3s

Today was a tiring date for Arka and Nadine, especially Arka. They were sitting in a carriage. Nadine looked out the window at the beautiful night lights, suddenly her left shoulder felt heavy, she turned her head to the side.

Arka spoiledly leaned her head on Nadine's shoulder, making Nadine smile anxiously at him. Dusapnya Arka hair with love. But Arka deliberately raised one leg above Nadine's thigh, making him shocked.

“eh heavy tau,” protest Nadine getting rid of Arka's legs that support above her feet.

Arka smiled jailily, she even deliberately managed it again. Every time Nadine protested and dropped him Arka continued to do the same, until both legs of Arka successfully hit Nadine's feet. Nadine sighed resignedly with the behavior of Arka.

Flasback

Nadine is back in the real world now. He saw Salma and Sarah sitting at the station with him waiting for the train to arrive. His heart was filled with memories of Arka at the station. His gaze was sad, he felt tightness in his chest. He felt missed.

I don't think they've reached the mall. Unfortunately, Nadine did not stop for *flasback* with her sweet memories with Arka. He often went to this mall, he remembered every place he had visited with Arka, to be honest he felt short of breath during this trip.

They didn't feel like they were spending time at the mall until nightfall. With hands carrying a lot of groceries and a sense of tiredness that they bring home. Nadine's face was in stark contrast to her two friends. Salma and Sarah, though both tired, clearly show satisfaction and joy in their faces because they managed to find the things they were looking for. But unlike Nadine, he looks very moody.

“wah really mengeneng.untung shopping today, a lot of discounts, keep the red clothes are also very funny, do not think again I just buy, just buy, ahahah” Salma excitedly told Sarah her groceries.

“iya very lucky for us, but I did not buy the goods just because there is a discount anyway, funny free if I do not need it, I bought 4 pieces of clothes anyway the same 3 veils, I have to buy,” timpal Sarah. They were unceasingly telling stories, whereas Nadine, she only chimed in once in a while.

They walked in tandem to the escalator that led directly to the train station that would take them home. Nadine's heart was in complete pain now she remembered very clearly as she and Arka so often passed through this escalator.

All the smiles and jokes of Arka made her so longing. Nadine was still pensive, her mind had already drifted far away. Stareawed.

“Nad beware of allotoh, let's go.” Sarah's voice resuscitates her to the real world.

“eh, what? Oh yes, thanks.” Nadine was surprised when she was at the end of the escalator and almost fell down because of daydreaming. Salma held onto Nadine's arm which was about to fall when she stepped up,

“ti ati buk, mute daydreaming, why the hell?” tanya Salma felt Nadine daydream a lot today. Nadine is usually very happy when she comes home from shopping.

“gue, I keepet Arka,” great-grandson Nadine slowly. He felt the prestige of having to admit this.

“ohh jeez, inget ex.iya anyway not long broken up too, you same she got along very well,” Sarah embraces Nadine with sympathy.

“gue also surprised tau-tau yu lase,” timpal Salma. Nadine just breathed a heavy sigh.

‘Arka, I miss a lot..are you also miss me?’ nadine's inner self seemed to speak with Arka in her mind. Nadine was feeling very sad today.

Arriving at home, he felt his energy drained. After he cleaned up his groceries in the form of 2 clothes and some new veils, Nadine went to the bathroom to refresh herself.

Nadine wants to change her appearance, she wants to change her life. Nadine doesn't want to make her God angry at her, she doesn't want anything bad to happen to her again. At the moment, Nadine was truly feeling fragile. He really needs a very strong, sturdy backrest and will never be lost from his life.

Nadine prostrated for so long in her final prostration, she poked all her heart out at the Creator she wept in silence. His prostration for so long, he felt very tired with his own heart. If he could choose, he wanted to just erase everything without any residue. But unfortunately Nadine's heart did not allow that at all.

“duhai Allah who holds the heart of man, save my heart from Arka, if it is my destiny to part with him, eliminate the feelings of the servant to him. Remove him from the heart and mind of the servant, take this heart away. Give the servant a spacious chest and make the servant as a grateful human being, Aamiin.” do’a Nadine at the end of his vent that night.

Nadine doesn't know who else she should complain to. He remembered that if there were no shoulders to lean on, there would still be a floor to prostrate on. Only this way could he use to treat his wounded heart.

He picked up a small book that he rarely opened for a long time. Nadine opened it she took a deep breath.

“A’uzubillahiminasyitonirrozim..bismilbornrahmanirrahim..” Nadine read the scriptures very slowly. Nadine felt her soul shaken now. There was a strange tremor seeping through his chest.

Making it very sad, Nadine could not resist her sadness and feelings of reading verse by verse, until finally she cried herself in her room.

No one knows but him and his God.

Nadine felt very stupid. He let the devil incite him, whisper things into his heart. Though Arka was just an ordinary man, he was an ordinary human just like himself, but Nadine had incited a demon. He had carved the name of Arka in his heart, and this was what he got.

Such a heartbreaking sweet memory.

He has no power to hold his own feelings. Did Nadine follow her heart too much and ignore her logic? Seems like. He felt himself very pitiful now. He was ashamed before his Lord.

Just because of this trivial thing, he became so fragile. To be honest, Nadine is very difficult to fall in love. And he has set his heart on an Ark. Even Nadine herself did not understand what made her fall in love with Arka. This is so weird.

Is this how God punishes Nadine??

*La haula wa la quwwata illa billahil’aliyyil ‘azhim*

This was just a pebble, which if he wanted to, he could kick him as far away from his path as possible. This was not a large stone that blocked his path completely. Wasn't it!

Love is never wrong because love comes from God.

Even if the human being is titipi ‘hati’ but still he will not be able to set it to whom he should like, and to whom he will hate. Then ask for determination of heart to the one who has heart.

Nadine held on with confidence. God is powerful in turning hearts. He hoped that all these feelings would soon wear off as time went on.

He sought all the wisdom of this separation. Nadine remembers well before parting ways, she had a dream about Arka. Twice the dream came to her sleep. Which means more or less is ‘*deep separation*’ turns out this is what the dream means. Tenyata before this he had been warned by God a lot, but Nadine still ignored him.

If this is how God leads him back, he is sincere.

If in this way Nadine becomes closer to God, she is sincere.

If in this way he becomes a better man in the future, he is sincere...

“ya Allah, spread out my chest, ease my affairs and spread my words, so that they may understand my words,” –(QS: Taha: 25-28)