My face is not as pretty as my heart
EPS 12'S

I read this letter as if I were my breath

halted in isolation. My mother still had time to write this at the time of her death

nya. I'm like a selfless child, even I cursed him in front

her navel. Because fate is playing us, I'm getting curious about

my mom's gonna tell me about my dad's figure I've been looking for all this time. I opened

again the box was to search for the book my mother had read, and find the book

that, the color was worn out and it had almost become a less palatable flake

viewed.

I opened the book slowly, and read

sheet by sheet that tells me my mother lived her life to

he scavenged the wind that lived him. Up to the 10th page I saw

a very strange name in my sight and hearing, MARDIAN SMITH that was the beginning of the tenth paper. I

open up and read it.

“ I am determined to work in this city and scavenge for fortune

halal for my son. I went and came to town B at 6 a.m

day, I've pocketed an address that accepts me for work

as a waiter at a ready-to-eat restaurant. Although only a servant but

his salary is good enough to support my son. I also work without making any

tired and sent the proceeds to my mother to support my son.

6 Months I worked already in this city, until I

met a man who sat leaning on an existing power pole

in front of the restaurant I work. He was like in pain and enduring the pain

her chest. I approached him and when I saw his pale expression

and not strong to endure her pain.

I also screamed for help

this man was taken to the hospital. When the man was taken to the hospital

nearby, I continued my work to serve ordinary customers

for breakfast.

After 3 months where the man

fainting, someone was looking for me at my work. I was called too

by the restaurant owner to meet the guests who want to see me. I also went out

and towards the table where there was a man waiting for me, I walked

with the owner of this restaurant.

“bang…. This is the woman that brother is looking for

fainted yesterday.!!” My manjere patted the man's shoulder. And said

I see, I clenched my forehead in confusion.

When the man turned around I was shocked

and spontaneously shut my mouth. Because he is the man I help

a few months ago. “tuan…. You were the one who fainted back then right..?” I asked

while regressing my steps.

“iya I was the person you helped back then, and I wanted to say

thanks to you. About time

it was but I never found you around here, accidentally you

enter this restaurant and it works in it.”

Long story short I started to get close to the male figure

this guy's. I called him bang dian, and we always did

intense to meet. Without knowing where he's from, and what he's working for, I just

thinking I'm comfortable and he's not insolent is enough for me.

Until we have a relationship and will

did my marriage and she's open to each other, even though I've been over

doing it to him about my past, I'm a widow with a child

4. Even I've told my family\, how my social status\, how\,

I've told you everything.

When he started the story, he was the owner

the restaurant I work at. Honestly, I'm surprised like this is how he got to something as important

here he wasn't telling me, and I thought that he judged me a woman

the metrealistic. But I don't really care about that the most important thing is him

to accept me and my son.

Until I met his family, everything was good

and accept me sincerely but it doesn't last long until we have

a son. They only show their true nature.

I feel humiliation every day, even my husband

don't know about the insults and their behavior treating me the same as the maid

my own home. Even my son is treated like a maid.

When my husband goes to work, I will be a bulian and a scorn in my house

by my in-laws and my sister-in-law.

To the point where I was not strong and complained

to my husband but he did not believe, even I was said to slander his mother

by oneself. I harbored all of that with a hold and did not let out my will

to get out of this house. When mas dian went out of the country to pick up

I just found out that I'm having our second child,

I waited for a dian mas for so long and never came from that day

determined, until my 8-month pregnancy I heard that my husband

married again in this country.

I decided to further my intention to leave the house

here, I am like a helper that has no price of its own, I am not

stupid because all this time I kept money from dian mas for my needs.

I used this money to go back to J's city so no one would know I was coming home

to the house by hiding.

Until the day I booked my ticket

coming home in hiding, I left with my eldest son being haunted by

aunt amoy to escape. I accepted violence because I remained

kekeh to come out to accompany my son to the front of the complex.

I stayed out despite getting a bruised stomach

pregnant with me, I brought my crying son to the beat of my mother-in-law,

I hate them I swear I'll never go back to hell

that's. I got to Aunt Amoy's house and told her everything.

I cried and begged him not to tell dian

where I went and what reason.

I left at 3pm local time, I

passed my husband's car, but luck was still on my side

I was invisible to him. Until I boarded that ship, I

sitting my son quietly next to me, I had the determination not to

return to him, though death be before me. I began to recall the time

where everything that was beautiful was harmonious and I was very dependent on the relationship

here's to him. But if I get hurt again for the umpteenth time, I

starting to feel my stomach that began to feel bruised in part of my body, I

feel the cramping that makes the mouthfeel pain. My son who

seeing me endure the pain, he just called me by holding my hand

asking to sit on my lap, please,

“mamak .... mamak.... mamak...... “ while stretching his hand to me. Me too

receiving my son's tiny hand, and sitting on my lap, I felt

the warmth of my son in my stomach.

Maybe the baby daughter in my womb understands that

her brother is calming her in my stomach. To where I was sent

at my destination, I immediately looked for transportation to travel home

my parents. I arrived at my house at 2 a.m., which was advocating

to ride some transportation to get home.

I knocked on the door with pain

cramp in my stomach, and the other hand to carry my son. “

assalammualaikum.....” call me on the third beat.

“mba,,.. this arum mba, …. Open the door...!!!”

“arum came mba....”. after the door was opened I also felt a burden in my life too.

disappeared instantly.

I also sat down directly in front of my feet

my sister, and I cried hugging her.

“mba I'm not strong anymore…. I'm not strong enough to withstand this mba.”.

mba aci was shocked to see me like this, and immediately hugged me tightly.

“nduk.. ayok enter first and talk in dalem. Let

you rest your son.” I was brought in by my brother, and we

changed clothes and clean clean, my brother was surprised to see my very situation

wrenching. Even she hugged tightly and cried as if she knew

I was in so much pain and suffering there.

And when I told him about everything I

naturally, mba aci just asked “does your husband know about you going here.?”.

I just shook my head. After a few days here my stomach felt

cotracts are like lahiran and I saw around my feet that there was blood

it flows from my baby's birth canal.

I was taken to my room because I was not there

midwives or baby shamans who are there because I gave birth during the holidays. Me too

just complaining of pain and not being strong to continue to relieve this pain ….

Pov twilight

I can't continue reading this, I

gotta find out where mom…. ? I don't blame you for everything. If destiny

it is okay to be cruel to me, if I may beg.

begging is not born by you if it will end like this.  What ahrus I told my father ma'am

if I met you again, would I hate you, Mom, would I be angry…. Or me too

the same thing as you leaving him…? Give me all the answers ma'am…..