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Since late afternoon heavy rain has been seen flushing the city of Jakarta. The rain that was accompanied by lightning seemed to describe the feeling of my heart that was currently being troubled. How not, since this morning I kept thinking about this. Thinking about how sorry I was for not keeping my virginity. I forgot my mother's advice. Advice on where I should take care of that important thing and only give it to the man who is going to be my husband.
"Now how is this? Should I be honest with Denis? But what if he gets angry and hates me."
It's not easy to make a choice. Moreover, my husband Denis Wiratama several times often said that he only wanted to marry a woman who could keep her virginity only for the man who became her husband. And stupidly again, I can only say without explaining anything at that time.
I took a deep breath too. Still comfortable standing under the shower coming out of the shower right above my head. Not only was I tired from welcoming all day guests to my wedding reception, but my mind was tired from thinking about the first night that every woman should have a good night. However, it doesn't seem to apply to me because the opposite is true. I'm very depressed. Feeling stupid and wanting to escape reality.
Suddenly the sound of knocking on the bathroom door accompanied by the voice of Mas Denis also sounded surprising to me. I tried to stay calm so that he could not read what I was thinking at the moment. It would all be a problem if Mas Denis came to know that I was an imperfect woman and far from what he expected. Really, if time could come back, I would like to go back to that time. A time where I shouldn't give up my virginity just for the sake of a material thing. Yes, although the number is quite large, but I really regret it at this time.
"I'm in, baby." Without waiting for my answer, he stepped in. Looking at my plain wet body with both eyes that kept looking at me without blinking. I know, she must have been amazed by the beauty of my curves. Hence, he looked at me like that.
"Mas, aren't you waiting for me in bed? I'm done soon too."
"Don't dong, Mas! I want our first night to be memorable. You wait in bed. Five minutes I'll be there soon."
"All right, I'll wait! Don't you take it long, honey."
Denis smiled. He doesn't force what I don't want to do. Yeah, that's how he is. The perfect man who made me willingly let go of all the striped-nose men who for a year always gave me luxury. Meeting him was a gift to me. However, I wasn't sure if she would agree with me when I found out that I had lied to her by claiming to be a virgin.
His passing left a million fears in me. I was so worried that I could not even let my tears run down my cheeks. I wept, and opened up the pain and fear that had shackled my heart.
"Maybe I can't avoid all of this. Now I'm resigned to what Mas Denis would think of me," my mind while turning off the shower, then took a towel and wrapped it around my body.
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