My Mother-in-law's Bad Prejudice
peace with the heart

pov rania's

like in the impact of sharp objects, so is the pain and pain of my heart at this time.it feels like life is never fair to me. not want kufur will be delicious, not want kufur, but the trials I faced felt so heavy.in the beginning with my brothers who until now did not want to consider me part of it, he said, until for eight more years I was shadowed by a mother-in-law whose heart is rotten and cunning. now I have been talak, I do not know who I want to share with. I am fragile at this time, I am, in addition, khaira is not with me. If he is with me, of course I will not feel the bitterness of the problem that is happening to me. sitting in one corner of the room was my best option while hugging my knees and burying my face there. complaining to my mother and father, they would have demeaned me for opposing them in choosing a mate for me. For years they didn't consider me a child. until khaira was born there they began to melt, but I could not complain about this bitterness, which I found they would lecture me at length, wide, not a solution that can keep me out of this mess.

my goal is to listen to the voice of someone is giving a briefing about health that I do not know who and for whom. slowly I blink my eyes, slowly, looking around the room that I knew this room was not my room. In the corner of the room I saw azra one of my cafe sisters was talking to a man in white robes. after I finished speaking azra immediately approached me and the man came out of this room.

"are you conscious ?" azra said as she shook her butt in the chair next to my safe.

"what happened ra ?"

"so when I closed the cafe and intend to deposit the income of the cafe sister today, but my brother did not answer me even though I had shouted to call my brother and banged on the door. I went into my sister's room and found my sister passed out. Me and Nia brought my sister to this hospital." Azra explained why I was in this hospital room. my tears came out of my eyelids.

"patience sister.I know this is not easy.but brother still has us, we love big brother." azra tried to encourage me.

"i'm devastated ra. There's no longer a purpose in my life that can keep me alive !" my sobs.

"hold on my brother.we will fight together to get through this.we are all ready to be a place of complaint brother.and we will always be the people you can count on."

I kept crying until my body shook.sobbing because of the burden that hit the niche of the heart, I was often disappointed and hurt.but it did not feel as bad as this. this time really disturbed my common sense. not one, but two people who in an instant went away from me.

"sister ate first yes. earlier sister said that sister should eat. brother needs a lot of intake" azra thrust a spoon filled with food towards my mouth. but I did not flinch, but I did not flinch, don't eat to live I don't want to.

"sister. hayuk at the meal.kasian was a candidate debay in the womb of the sister if the sister dissolves in this problem and also does not want to eat" he continued to seduce me.

"wh-what ? would-be debay in my womb ?" I scanned azra's face.

"yes sister who is pregnant and the age of the womb sister has five weeks"

"sure brother.I saw for myself just as the doctor again ultrasound sister.I also listened to the doctor's explanation carefully" he said steadily.

"aaaaa.. let's open his mouth brother. brother must eat. brother must be strong, if brother is strong. I'm sure all will return as usual" I opened my mouth to receive a spoonful of food from azra's hands, and as I chewed on the bland food on my tongue, this thought continued to drift far to the side of my heart which was now full of confusion.

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today I have been allowed to go home. Along the way I continue to glance at the azra that some days are always there to accompany and take care of me.

"ra... thank you for taking care of me. After this will you go home immediately ?"

"don't thank me sister has been very good to me, give me a job and also eat me everyday even brother give free. especially when my mother died. if not with the help of my sister, maybe I can't bring my mother's body home because we don't have the cost to pay for my mother's medical expenses during her treatment" I see her tears have begun to dew.

"it's ra. don't bring up something I give you sincerely" I said while throwing my face away from him.

a few moments later we arrived at my house. before entering I took the time to see the state of the cafe that seemed to still remain crowded. there are many memories with my husband and khaira. even this house.yes this house.in every corner there are a thousand shadows that seem to be glued to my memory.

"istigfar sak.." said azra while touching my shoulder. Maybe she knew if I was nauseous carried away. I just answered with a nod of the head. afterwards I went into the house.

lamat-goar heard the sound of adhan reverberating.I rushed to take ablution and perform the asar prayer.There I spilled all my complaints about life and problems that I now face.. only sobbing dominated my complaints. after finishing the prayer I accidentally stood on the side of the closet which contained a mirror that could capture the image of myself from the tip of the foot to the tip of the head. I look at the picture of myself in the mirror.I smooth my tears, there I cling.I will still survive here.There is a life that God put in my womb. even though I will not admit it later on. I will raise him alone.I have to arrange my heart again.if I am weak, surely his mother will ahmad dance to scratch my wounds so that I continue to grimace in pain.

that woman can't win.I have to get up to see what she gets in return.

khairaaa. wait for mom nak. ibun to pick you up.

"bismillah.help me to be at peace with my heart, O God.." I wilt as I write a little smile on my lips.