The Heart that is Hurt
Entrapment

Kenan's days were very quiet and monotonous, other than going to the office for work, to Farid's restaurant to hang out and to the house to rest, there was no place for Kenan to go. Every day is almost just Kenan activities for 3 months and he lived it casually and happily.

"Why it looks like there's something Kenan is thinking about." asked Mr. Ustad who came that day to Kenan's house for regular study every week.

"Yes, sir, I am confused. How do I solve my problems, actually I am in a wedge about my ex-wife. She filed for divorce without my knowledge, yes I admit it was all my fault but I felt very sick and did not accept it with all. Because honestly I never wanted to part with him in the slightest, it never crossed the mind to divorce him." said Kenan and Pak Ustad was confused because Kenan said with a very sad face.

"Actually what has happened in Kenan, and if possible you know what the problem is until Kenan's wife sues Kenan mas. Because after the father, however, from the court, there will certainly be suggestions for meditation before deciding on a problem related to divorce." explained Mr. Ustad and Kenan bowed bitterly

"Actually it was all because of a mistake I made myself, Mr. Ustad. I married my wife because of an arranged marriage and there was never a feeling of love for her. At first I was fine because I thought that everything would be good as long as there was nothing to interfere with our personal lives. I feel comfortable living with him even though in our marriage there is no such thing as love. And after 3 years, I also felt strong and finally brought my lover who I had married in series into the house with our baby son, who was still a baby, at first I thought everything was good because there was no reaction from my wife, she did not look sad or angry that until hysterical, she said, his face was ordinary as if he knew it would happen, but a few minutes later he came down with a suitcase and demanded to part with me again - again he said with a flat and ordinary face" Kenan explained about the story and it looks like he listened carefully.

"Then after that, what was the problem? Wasn't supposed to be happy because Kenan mas Kenan can marry the woman of choice Kenan mas and who mas Kenan love. That way maslah mas Kenan should have been finished." said Mr. Ustad who felt confused.

Kenan shed his tears "But I don't want to lose him, sir, I know I'm greedy and greedy. But I felt very sick and tight when I saw her tears, there was a feeling of guilt and regret in my heart. Because for 3 years our marriage never once did he not keep our marriage bond, he was very respectful of the marriage that intertwined without love. And when I saw him close to another man, I realized that the real feeling of comfort was my liking of him." Kenan was crying more and more

"Hem, so all this time Kenan denied the feelings of Kenan himself?" mr. Ustad asked and patted Kenan on the shoulder

"Yes, I don't want to admit it and prefer my wife and my son from my second marriage. But because of the annoyance and anger that tortured me too much, I demanded my rights by forcing him and hurting him. I realized everything I did to him was wrong, but I kept doing it to keep him by my side and depend on me. By all means I made him lose his job and intended to be fair by giving them unlimited ATM cards on both. It's my fault." Kenan covered his face with a sofa cushion while crying like a child.

"Subhanallah mas Kenan, it seems that Kenan's ex-wife is a great and extraordinary woman, because she was able to make tears a Kenan Adi Prayoga, the leader of PT. Prayoga This industry came out endlessly just to remember him." Mr. Ustad patted Kenan on the shoulder

"He can always find his own way, and when he goes and receives me well, he also shows me a smile that he never showed me during the 3 years of marriage, even serving me so gently I thought that he had accepted and forgiven me, but all was peace before the coming of the great storm, when I came back I received the divorce papers and she also disappeared somewhere. It's all so torturous, sir, so excruciating." Kenan again cried loudly as if the house could flood with tears

"No, this is punishment and retribution for me for the crimes I have committed against him, the woman I thought of as love and also trusted so much turned out to be the woman who for many years had cheated and lied to me, even she had betrayed me right before my eyes. I also felt the pain of being cheated and betrayed. Right now I would love to meet my wife and apologize to her and beg for forgiveness for all my mistakes, but I can't find her whereabouts until now." Kenan said with great sincerity that he had regretted and was eager to apologize.

"So, by the way, Kenan has separated from his second wife Kenan, mas Kenan, and now mas Kenan want to meet with ex-wife mas Kenan who has divorced mas Kenan to beg forgiveness from him so?" ask sir ustad and Kenan nodded with his face buried in the cushion of the sofa.

"Hem, yes man is the place of wrong and sin, and every man must have his own problems. But Allah SWT is forgiving and forgiving for all the mistakes of his servants. He (God) can forgive and forgive and receive repentance from his servant who had committed adultery during his life as long as his servant would repent and return to his path. So if the Kenan mas really sincerely have realized all the mistakes and regretted it. so hand over and surrender all to Him (God) let him (God) govern and determine the way." sir ustad said softly

"What do you mean?" Kenan asked in confusion.

Mr. Ustad smiled, "Mas Kenan, maybe this is a trial for Kenan and his protesters, and God is trying to open up the truth of who really is the person who Kenan needs, hence the eyes of the Kenan mas opened to be informed of the wrong choice by showing the traitor from the woman who Kenan mas choose. So nothing is impossible for Him (God), could be currently ex-wife mas Kenan hidden by Him (God) to test the sincerity of the mas kenan, can be, and someday there will be a small hand that helps you to meet and be together again, it all depends on the intention and sincerity of Kenan to admit all wrongs, because God is all forgiving and forgiving, and He (God) is also capable of regulating and turning the hearts of men, so trust and surrender to His destiny (God)." Mr. Ustad explained at length to Kenan, and hearing that Kenan felt a little relieved.

"Do you think all of that is possible? Will he be willing to forgive me for hurting him too deeply?" Kenan asked with a trembling tone

"I can't answer Kenan, because no matter how many people who are hurt because they have been betrayed, cheated, lied to and tortured in their inner birth will have deep pain. Because the human heart is like a wall, if Kenan mas stick a nail there so many times it will leave imprint even though Kenan had plucked it and patched the hole, then, and the wall won't be able to go back to how it was. Nothing is impossible if God wills. So surrender, leave everything to His will (God), hopefully the results are in accordance with the wishes of Kenan. But it remains as I said before in Kenan, that Kenan must believe in qadha and qadar." Mr. Ustad said with a smile and Kenan nodded.

"Well, for today until here first we will meet next Sunday and hopefully Kenan mas has been much better than now. You also pray that what Kenan hopes will be granted, amen." Mr. Ustad said as he patted Kenan on the shoulder and smiled.

"Alright Mr. Ustad, thank you for your input and teaching so far. Agus will take Mr. Ustad home" Kenan said with a mood that had begun to improve than earlier

"Well, thank you, Kenan quickly rest you go home first. Assalamualaikum" he said and left Kenan's house.