THE MOUNTAINEER'S STRUGGLE
Epsx21

Cindy messed up her hair. Frustrating. All the plans and hopes in his mind could not be realized. His pupolarity has now faded over time.

No more busy schedules. Her work in the world of modeling is no longer calculated. All replaced with fresh newcomers.

The news of the engagement and wedding plans of Judis and Ayu made him more miserable. Replaced lovers repeatedly after breaking up with Judis, but could not find anyone as good as Yudishthira.

All her lovers with no worries easily touch her body. I don't know why I miss Yudhishthira that is starting to change. His attitude that seems indifferent and indifferent just holding hands is so tiring of the heart. Makes him feel appreciated.

Why is it only now realized after Yudhishthira left. Three months to belong to people. Why did Judis not return when he was sure that the heart of the man who had so longed for him was no longer adoring.

Why did you choose him? What's special about that girl? Who will not praise the beauty and the beauty of my body? Many times in contact you ignore. I came back again, you dodged.

Cindy groaned, she was at the peak of anger. The latest expensive phone was thrown to the floor. Crushed to pieces. Pillows, rolls and objects around are also targeted. Everyone is blindly slamming.

Cindy feels at the door of mountain girl. If only Judis had chosen a top model or artist, or a girl from a well-known family. Cindy's heart hurts like this.

Cindy saw how simple and unpretentious the girl who was now the future wife of Yudhishthira. Pain is not a headache. Lose the face of an alien-looking creature. Wearing a loose shirt, a long veil like a mukenah. Mending if stylish. It's not fashionable at all. Away from the appearance of her being branded as a fashionista.

"Yudiiiiiss!"

Cindy screamed loudly. I want to go through space. Tearing down the powerful destiny. May they erase their destiny. Replacing Ayu's position with him.

"Cindy! Oh, my God, what's wrong with your room? Why is it like a ship breaking like this? Your stress? What time is it. It's filled!" shouted Aunt Mira who saw her daughter's room in disarray.

"Yudis wants nika, Mah, she left me for a village girl. What is less Cindy? Why choose that girl? Hicks ..."

Cindy's cry broke. Wailing bitterly as his memories replayed the happy memories with Yudistira.

"Here you go, Dy, why are you torturing yourself? Judis doesn't care anymore. Why would a fool chase him? You are so perfect. Want to get that how it can too. There is no need to mourn someone who no longer cares. It was as if there was only one in the world. What do you want? Mama is ready to help you. Never mind, Mama's been busy all day, it's been night. Mama wants a break. Go to sleep again. Let Mama rest" said Aunt Mira with a yawn. Tired of her body just came home from work.

"Always, Mama's job is more important for Mama than Cindy, once Judis always cared about me. Hence, when I lost her, I was so miserable. It feels like only the madam and Judis are always there in my difficult times not Mama and Papa."

Cindy down. The crying broke. His parents seemed to have done their responsibilities after giving some material. It's not always about money.

Cindy also needs them when they are sad and happy. Only Judis and Si Mbok, Cindy can complain all. However, Judis did not care and disappeared. Cindy felt lonely on her own.

Cindy is rich in treasure, yet poor in compassion. Abundant material, but less attention. So look for it on the streets. Looking for happiness in a frenetic world. Nightclubs and discos were targeted.

"Why are you being a crybaby, Dy?"

"This is the hardest time for me, Mah. Can you sit down for a minute? Stay with me at this time. I need Mama. Just one hour. Let Mama be my Mama. I beg Mah." Cindy stared in tears.

"It's night, Dy. Mama is tired. Just home. Let's talk tomorrow, yeah, now we're both resting." Mira stroked Cindy's back. Pass away

"It always is, for Mama career is everything. I never meant anything. My mom could be happy if I were gone. Nothing to disturb anymore. Spending another dollar. I'd rather die. After all, no one cares if I live or die" Cindy cried.

The blade on the plate of fruits, as fast as lightning was in hand. Cindy sliced her veins. Blood is pouring. Cindy smiled cynically at her mother who was screaming hysterically. All the residents panicked. Cindy was rushed to the hospital.

\*\*\*\*\*

Judis hastened into the ICU. The news of Cindy's suicide attempt shocked her. How the girl was once enthroned in her soul. The feeling once stayed even though it has now disappeared. Several times

Cindy called, looking but Judis dodged.

Not wanting to sow despair and give dreams. There is no Cindy in my heart anymore. Ayu now filled the heart space. There is Ayu who must be taken care of her feelings. Judis kept his distance from everyone. Not least Cindy.

Judis saw the pale Cindy. His body was so weak that it was drained of a lot of blood. Her mother seemed to be crying incessantly on the side.

The slender-bodied woman was almost 50 years old. Unceasingly wiping away tears of regret. His heart was broken seeing his son almost stretched.

Judis breathed a sigh of relief as she watched Cindy slowly open her eyes.

"Dy, thank God you've come to your senses." Judis tried to check on Cindy.

"You've been through a critical period. God willing, you are fine."

Cindy clasped the hand of Judis who had completed the task of examining her body. Close-fitting. Reluctant to release.

"Well remember my name? Why are you avoiding? Stay away and don't care about me anymore. I'm still like the old days so in love with you."

Judis did not dismiss even though he wanted not to do it. That would make Cindy hysterical. Not good for his health.

"You are like my own sister. Our relationship is over but our relationship will never end. We'll always be brothers."

"lik! You avoid when in contact. Why choose him? What is my lack? Disgusting me? Until you'd rather be a mountain alien than me."

"Before I left I told you to change. But, at that time prefer your career and your best friend. Don't you have Aldo. You guys are happy. Why do you want to be with me"

"I still love you. I'm doing this all because of you. I'd rather die than see you get married. Don't leave me. Keep me here."

Cindy stared. Wailed. He asked Judis to stay.

"I can't stay here, a lot of people need me too. Not just you. I'll see you if rest time. In the Lord."

"You promise?"

Judis does not want to be the cause of death. Still stuck in memory, when he first lost his patient on the operating table. Not because of the error of the procedure but indeed the condition of patients who have been very weak because of late entry to the operating table.

At that time Judis could not eat and sleep for days. The patient's face is full of hope and trust in the ability of his hands. Honey, ajal's picking up. The last breath was in his hand. It was Judis that made him die.

Trauma, if it happens to Cindy. Judis must be able to keep Cindy from doing anything stupid.

\*\*\*\*\*

Judis is like a pasung. His steps seemed to stop. Going home early is also late all because of taking care of Cindy. Submissive, submissive. His feet were in chains. Can't move freely.

All because of Cindy's fear of doing bad things again. The humanist soul that Judis had encouraged to take care of his patients. Not the reason for love. That taste has long since disappeared. Only the spirit of help makes him do that.

Utari was infuriated by the excessive attitude of Judis. Care may be but do not seem to give a chance. Care should be but do not give hope.

"Dis, stay away from Cindy. Inget you're engaged. If Ayu knew this would hurt her heart. Don't want to be Cindy's doll sober, Dis," Pinta Utari.

"Gue never forgot Ayu's, but what if Cindy did something silly again. What would I feel if I saw Cindy slitting her throat in front. I just prevent that from happening. Not because of Cindy's love" Judis said.

"Ok, I know that. Don't give him hope anymore. Don't give it a chance. Let him be aware of his position in Lu's heart. Now it's as if he's Lu high up, but if you know Lu throw him down in the crust of the earth. It's better for you to be hurt by reality than to be lied to by a million false hopes."

"What do I need to do? My brain is frozen I can't think straight anymore."

"Make him feel if he is valuable even if you do not give love. Show her if she's needed, without having to ignore Ayu's status. Let her know what your relationship is like now. He's just a part of the past not gonna be Elu's future"

"Gue knows, but how. Please give me a solution!"

"Call the psychologist, ask for advice. Maybe it's one way."

"Alright, I tried, some days did not tell Ayu. I miss him. Until he forgot. Dizziness of the head," cried Judis scrambling her hair that was drizzling.

\*\*\*\*

A week has passed. Cindy's health condition has recovered completely. His body looked fresh, his face was bright. How not, no more staying up late and hang out the night with friends. Alcohol is no longer in our hands.

Cindy was happy. My mom is always next to him. Never left because of work. A week is a top priority. Just felt this his whole life.

"Mama has done the administrative work. We're packing. In the afternoon we go home, baby," Mira stroked the back of her son's hand with a happy look.

It's been imagined a pile of office work waiting. Everything will be back to normal again. Already tired of energy drained for the sake of his daughter. It's time to clean up the abandoned office work.

"I don't want to go home" replied Cindy with a wry face.

"Well, it's been cured cook should stay here again. It's just Dy"

"I want to stay here forever. If I'm sick, Mama's just taking care of me, have time for me. Papa, Mama, Judis is pampering and always there when I am sick. When you're healthy you never think I exist"

"Ngaco you are, Dy. Who's going home in the morning for whom. Mama wants you to live without flaws. We want our lives to be worthy. All those fancy facilities don't come by themselves. Mama has to find rupiah to make. You can ask for anything Mama. What Mama can't give. Your life is everyone's dream. Everything is in the grip.

Mama gave it all to you."

"Mama hasn't given everything to Cindy, Mama can't give it her all"

"Everything for you my sweet heart. Mama will give everything. Tell me what you want?"

"Please give it back twenty-two years ago. Restore Cindy Mah, nurse and care for Cindy. Don't be like before. Cow's milk Cindy enjoys. Baby sitter Cindy's care get. Do it yourself without the help of others. I want to be like any other kid. They know when their child is sad or happy, they know what they like or not. Want to spend time shopping together to the Mall, nyalon together. Mama just gave Cindy the material. For Mama if there's enough money. Cindy doesn't need Mama's money. Cindy needs Mama. Let's not live fancy and well, as long as we can be together. That's enough."

Cindy sobbing spewed a load that was stored for years in the chest cavity.

Mira was surprised not to be a bitch. Career success during this time turned out to be a big zero. When faced with reality, if the child who is thought to be the happiest turns out to feel the most suffering.

"I want to die because I feel worthless to anyone. For Mama is only made an excuse to look for rupiah. I am even the most useless human being. The trash is still picking up, then what am I? It's not for me to live, Mah. I'm worth nothing." sob Cindy.

"I'm sorry Mama, if you can repeat Mama wants to that time, son. But, Mama promise from now on will always be there for you. You are our most precious jewel. Mama is willing to lose all your possessions and your original career is always there. Don't tell me you're trash. Cindy look! My mother has been with you for a week. The hovering tenders and the neglected work of Mama don't matter for you. Stop thinking of doing stupid things again. My mom promises to always be there for you. Don't ever think of leaving your mom again. Please, son."

Mira sniffled and hugged Cindy tightly. I just realized how much I love Cindy. All the property in the group for whom if Cindy's gone. Isn't it for Cindy's sake looking for rupiah. What is the point if his only child dies.

Judis was also in tears. Blissfully. Seeing Cindy finally get the love of Mama.

"Congratulations, Dy. May you also find your true love, though not mine. I'm sorry I could only be a brother or a friend. There is someone else waiting for you."

\*\*\*\*\*

I flipped the device in my hand. Quiet, it's been more than a week no messages or calls came.

Why did you give this device, brother. Is it just a hand ornament? Waiting for your message to come, but not anywhere. I miss your writing, your voice.

Should I start asking you about it. I'm shy. I want you to be sensitive to this longing. Is it so busy that there are no seconds to say hello and type, "how are you, over there?"

Ayu was stirring herself because she missed. How much you want to meet but can't. Where is the pujaan. How are you doing there. Ah, if only she knew her lover was in a dilemma.

To be continue~