The Murder of the Beloved
Chapter 5

Dinda raised her head and looked at her mother. He saw a speck of sweat on his mother's forehead and nose. "What the hell is it, Mom?" he asked back.

"Lho, you'll be asked, Dad."

Dinda stunned. Daddy's? Should he call this man that name? Suddenly his emotions were running. "Ask what, Om?" said loud. Intentionally emphasizing the name Om.

"Hey!" exclaim Lilis hard. But his shoulder was patted softly by Bram.

"I asked what books you read, Dinda. Forgot huh?" he said with patience.

"Novel, Om."

"Seru?"

"Yes." Yeah."

Bram glanced at the chair next to Dinda, but the girl did not like to see her appearance. Her hairy chest disgusted him. Especially now from a close distance. Quickly he stood up while pushing his chair backwards. 'You sleep ah!" she said, then she grabbed her book and milk box.

"Good sleep, Dinda!" bram from behind him. Lilis face just looked on speechlessly. His face still showed irritation. Just like that Lilis recalled back to Dinda's opposition and her behavior that rejected Bram.

But Bram's call was not echoed by Dinda. He half ran to his room. When he reached the stairs leading to the attic where his room was, he slowed down. At that moment he heard Bram's voice, "He needs time, Lis. Be patient. Don't force it."

"If left alone he'll be rude, dear."

Dinda quickened her steps up the stairs. His eyes got wet. He hoped the two men would linger in the kitchen and only return to their rooms when he was asleep. Thus he did not need to hear those voices anymore. Yeah, hopefully they ate a lot, because he just saw for himself that the fridge was full of party leftovers. Let the people who are already talented fat become fatter until they quickly become balls.

The night is late. No matter how upset he feels, drowsiness still comes, to bring him to dreamland. Just before stepping into dreamland he remembered Johan, his real father, the only person he called "Father" and no one else.

Suddenly, Dinda missed her father. And that longing brought him to dreamland. He dreams of the past. Dreams are good at sorting out. All that is presented to be enjoyed are happy experiences. It feels good, like a grief-fighting.

***

Johan parked his old car on the side of the road in front of a famous private school in the capital. Next to it are lined cars that are mostly expensive branded. His daughter, Dinda, went to school there. Since childhood until the third grade of Junior High, Dinda never moved schools. It is likely that SMA is there.

Johan didn't get out of his car. The school has not broken up. He had not seen the group of children in white-blue uniforms, Junior High uniforms coming out of the gate. He took a few minutes to reflect on his spontaneous actions, which was suddenly to pick up Dinda from school and meet her. For years he never did that. Last time he picked up Dinda when the boy was in sixth grade. After breaking up, Lilis forbids her from picking up Dinda, as she can do so secretly without Lilis knowing. He didn't want to do it because he was ashamed of Dinda. The boy knew and saw how he was driven from home. He felt he had no self-respect and prestige anymore as a father. He was also unable to defend himself when he was reviewed all-out by Lilis because he realized that he was guilty.

Now he suddenly misses Dinda. He last met at Christmas and New Year about four months ago. He came to visit Lilis' house, uninvited of course. At that time Lilis received it well even though it was cold. But it's much better than hardship and expulsion. He came with gifts and gifts for Dinda. Of course there are also some to celebrate the big day. Perhaps it was also because of that that Lilis had no reason to get angry at him. Especially during that time he never if give money for the costs of Dinda's school and the daily life of the two children's mothers. This has indeed become his obligation, as required by the court when the divorce verdict was handed down. He must continue to provide that fee as long as Lilis is not married again. At that time he was fascinated to see how quickly Dinda grew into a beautiful girl. His feelings became filled when it occurred to him that he had not seen the growth of his daughter. Know-how is big. How unfortunate that wasted time. It only occurred to you that this is the biggest loss of divorce. He could not observe and enjoy the development of his favorite child. Distance separated them.

Now Lilis is remarried. Of course Lilis tells him, but with the note that he still gives Dinda tuition fees because Dinda is her biological child. He did not mind even feeling happy because thus he could still do something for Dinda. Don't let everything be taken over by another man. Maya is his, so it's his responsibility. Strange as well, but in fact, that love that at one time so felt deep and sincere at another moment can be lost is not left. That's what happened to him with Lilis. Not so with his love for Dinda. Is that a logical thing? Love for a life partner can disappear but not so with love for a child. There is a difference between the two loves. Maybe that difference is the cause.

Indeed there are many other things besides the longing that arouses his desire to meet Dinda. One of the most important is the presence of a stepfather. How is Dinda's acceptance of the new man? Does Dinda like it? There is a sense of worry that he will be excluded from Dinda's thoughts and feelings. Suddenly he regretted because during the recent time did not try to stay in a relationship with the child. If it's hard to meet at least he can call. How can Dinda remember him not having a continuous approach? Of course he never forgot Dinda's birthday or gave her special attention on the feast day. But it's an event once a year. Ah, that doubt made him uneasy. And almost pushed to leave that place.

Johan is shocked when children in white-and-blue uniforms tear out of the school gate. He quickly got out of his car. If it's not nimble, he could lose Dinda. In uniform, children are difficult to distinguish. By keeping watch at the door, it was easier to keep an eye on. If he does not see Dinda, the child will recognize him. Surely Dinda knows who she's coming for.

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