You are the Only One
21. Oh, My God

Olavia

I've been following around not sleeping all night. Oleander finally got a fever. Her body temperature was very high when I checked at three in the morning. Thirty-nine point five degrees Celsius.

Oh, my God.

Not wanting to leave Oleander alone, I immediately called Mama who was sleeping in the main room in the western wing of this house. Not long after, my parents appeared in front of the room. In Mama's hand there is a disposable child fever compress that we always provide in the refrigerator for this condition.

"It's a fever, huh?" ask Mama who is sitting on the edge of the bed.

I just nodded.

"What's up, Sweetie? You and Ole, really, from yesterday it didn't seem that calm. Keep on worrying." The woman who gave birth to me continued. He rubbed the back of my hand that was in his grasp gently.

"I'm not nervous, Ma. Oleander is not calm. Don't know why."

Mom smiled, but her head shook. "Sweetie, the boy's heart is directly connected to his mother's heart. Especially if he is this small. He is still very sensitive about your feelings. So, yes, if your heart is not comfortable just a little, he must feel. He also became unsettled and restless at last."

"Yes, yes, Ma?" I asked hesitantly.

"Hm-mm," mummy Mama confirmed.

I can only breathe out a long breath.

"Why, anyway, Sweetie? What the hell's been going on? Are you and Angga in trouble?"

"I don't know, Ma," I replied immediately. "I don't know why, but it feels weird. We didn't fight, though. Mama see for herself how Angga. He should not dispute my childish actions. He always supported me. Did I overdo it a lot of times, huh, Ma? Because it's the first time Angga's out of town after we're engaged, so I'm a parno myself."

Mama gave me a smile full of understanding and typical tenderness of a mother. "Maybe it is. You believe Angga, right?"

For one, there is no need to doubt. I quickly nodded for sure. "Hu-uh," I replied.

In the afternoon, Mama got up and tidied up the blanket that covered my body and Oleander. "Yes, already. What else to worry about then? Now you rest too, yeah. Later Ole added kaaihan if you follow fell ill."

****

Goslings

Staying up all night doesn't make me innocent. Lamenting all the time will not make what has happened, change. Avoiding the call of the woman I love most in this world will not make me feel better.

Therefore, I decided to stop doing all these futile things.

It's been quite a crying and sorry event that I did all day yesterday and all night. It was time to be a man and acknowledge what I had done.

Yet, still. It all seems easier to do when the form is just words.

But how else? I can't keep hiding here. Sooner or later I have to keep doing it.

Alright.

Start with the easiest thing first. Gave word to my future wife.

Shxt. I would have enjoyed the call before Olavia revoked my right to call him that.

Fuck: hi, babe

Angga: sorry I just saw hp

Angga: yesterday was hectic af

Angga: this I just want to rest first

Angga: tickets I reschedule

Angga: to afternoon flight

Angga: give a kiss from me to Ole yes

The angel: love you

Angga : so much

After deactivating the phone and putting it on the nightstand, I moved to the bathroom to clean the body. After rubbing my body cleanly (shxt, the wound that was still wrapped felt very sore when exposed to warm water from the shower pipe), I stopped in front of the sink to brush my teeth. When I looked at the place where the mirror was hanging, my heart slipped. Gye remembered my mistake again.

Fxcking. I didn't know that one day I would feel the sadness that I had, even more so now.

Banum, I deserve this pain. Both the gye felt inside, as well as the one that came from my wet wound.

After brushing my teeth, I opened the damp bandage and I threw it in the trash under the sink. I noticed those gaping, soft-looking wounds.

Fxck. So ugly.

Like my behavior.

The holy fxcking shxt. Although I was determined to accept my guilt and would admit it to Olavia when we met, I did not make the guilt and the demons in my brain feel satisfied. They continue to torture me with toxic thoughts like this.

Let's try to turn it off.

Is correct. It's time I went to sleep and stopped working my brain which was clearly overdrive.

****

Olavia

Everything felt better after I read the messages from Angga when I woke up. Mama's right. Angga is just busy. He's fine over there. I'm the one who thinks too much here.

Oleander's body heat had gone down when he woke up around nine in the morning. After confirming it with a thermometer, thank God his body temperature was already close to normal.

"Bental again Papa's home, huh, Ma?" Oleander asked the same question many times throughout the day. When I do, he'll ask a follow-up question. "How many hours, Ma?"

Eight hours.

Six hours.

Five hours.

Three and a half hours.

The smaller the count of hours left, the more carefree my son is.

Oh, my God. This fact inevitably moved me a little. How not? My choice of letting Angga be part of our little family has given the boy his own happiness. Angga's presence does not make him miss the moments he should have gone through with the figure of a father.

If there's one thing in this world that I do right, I guess.

At half-time seven in the evening, someone rang the bell while we were playing together in the living room. Papa and Mama were sitting on the couch, while Oleander circled them on his third-wheel bike. I was folding Oleander's clothes that Bi Jumi had finished washing.

Oleander immediately left his bike and crouched behind the chair. He touched his lips with his index finger, giving us a sign to keep quiet. "Lele wants to go, Ma. Shhh. Shh."

We followed the game by giving the same signal. "Okay, okay." I whispered.

Shortly after, footsteps came closer.

"Master, Madam. There's a guest."

Behind Bi Jumi's body stood a different person altogether.

Oh, my God.

Connect ....