ARTHUR
34
"The poison is too sweet not to be swallowed vigorously by me. It was too late that I remembered that I had been enslaved by an indivisible obligation. It is easy to hide this obstacle from the eyes of my colleagues, but here my integrity refuses to give up. I can indeed claim a little benefit because of this patience. If there was no alternative between deception and disappointment from my expectations, I would definitely hide the truth with little doubt in this regard as on different occasions. ; but I cannot be blind to his weaknesses that I have to fight.
“Meanwhile a big cut has been made from my money supply, and the rest will be quickly consumed by my current lifestyle. My expenses far exceeded my previous expectations.The luxurious existence I now enjoy, and the respect due to my dear and helpless friend, will make it more annoying than ever. Some scheme to save me from this fate was indispensable; but my unwillingness to work, for any pursuit whose purpose was only profit, and which would require application and attention, was necessary, continue without diminishing.
"I fell again into sadness and confusion. From here I was somewhat relieved by the plan suggested by Mr. Thetford. I thought I had experience of her knowledge and integrity, and the scheme she proposed seemed unlikely to have a miscarriage. A ship must be purchased, supplied with the appropriate cargo, and delivered to a port in the West Indies. Losses due to storms and enemies must be covered by insurance. Every danger must be calculated, and the ship and its cargo are rewarded at the highest rate. If the cruise is done safely, the profit will be double the original cost. If the ship is taken or destroyed, the insurance company will bind themselves to provide adequate, prompt, and definite compensation. Brother Thetford, an alert and experienced trader, is becoming a supercargo.
“All my money was put on top of this scheme. Hardly enough reserves to meet domestic and personal needs. Heavy debt also occurred. Our prudence, as we imagined, has eliminated every possible failure. Too much cannot be spent on a project so perfectly, and the ship, simply mounted and transported, set out on its journey.
"An interval, rather than without tension and anxiety, works. My trading experience made me distrust the clarity of my own wisdom, and I cannot help but remember that my total and irreparable ruin was related to the failure of my scheme. Time added to my distrust and worry. The time in which news of the ship is expected to pass without giving any information about its fate. However, my anxiety must be carefully hidden from the world. I have taught humanity to believe that this project has been adopted more for entertainment than for profit, and the debt I have contracted seems to arise from a willingness to adhere to established principles, more than the pressure of need.
"Moon turns month, and intelligence is still on hold. The records I have given for one-third of the cargo, and for insurance premiums, will be due soon. For the payment of the first, and the cancellation of the last. , I rely on a quick return or loss of the indicated vessel.None of these events occurred.
“My concern is growing from the other side. My colleague's situation now seems like, if our relationship has been sanctified by marriage, it will be considered with joy. As such, no symptoms are equally regrettable. Consequences, such as as long as they engage in uncertainty, are reduced or ignored; but now, when they become clear and inevitable, fertile tribulation and reprimand.
"This vigilance gives me some comfort in my current predicament. It was necessary to hide the condition of women from the world. If this is not effective, it will not be difficult to divert suspicion from my person. The secrecy that I have practiced will be justified, in the fear of those to whom Clemenza's personal condition must be revealed, by the feelings of a father.
"In the meantime, it is obviously wise to move the unhappy woman to a place far from the brash observer. A rural, deserted and estranged retreat, is easy to obtain, and he agrees to fix it. This arrangement was done together, I had the free time to contemplate the evil that every hour was drawing near, and that threatened to annihilate me.
" My restlessness prevented me from sleeping, and I was used to getting up early and looking for rest in the fields. Returning from one of the rants that didn't fit this season, I happened to meet you. Your resemblance to the late Lodi, in person and face, is remarkable. When you first met my eyes, these similarities surprised me. Your next appeal to compassion I dress in such a way that it forms a strong contrast to your dress, and greatly influences me in support of your education and capacity.
"In my current desperate condition, every incident, however trivial, is considered attentively, with the intention of extracting from it some means of escape from my predicament. My love for an Italian girl, despite all my efforts to keep her alive, has begun to languish. Marriage is impossible; and now, in some degree, it is no longer desirable. We tend to judge others by ourselves. The passion I now find in myself tends to stem from a state of chance; a boost of gratitude, and the exclusion of competitors, and believing that your likeness to her brother, your age and personal achievements, are not, perhaps, after a certain time, and as a consequence of the appropriate discovery on my part, give a new direction to his feelings.Your consent, I rely on your simplicity, Your gratitude, Your gratitude, and your vulnerability to the charm of this enchanting creature.
"I also contemplate other goals. Mrs Wentworth is rich. A young man who was once his favorite, and was designed to inherit his fortune, has disappeared, for several years, from the scene. His death was most likely, but there was no satisfactory information. The life of this man, named Clavering, was a hindrance to some of the designs that I thought of with respect to this woman. My goal was rough and barely formed. I don't have to swell my catalog of errors by explaining them. Suffice it to say that the special circumstances of your introduction to me led me to reflect on the possible use of your agency, in obtaining the consent of this woman in my scheme. You are finally persuaded to confirm him in the belief that his nephew is dead. For this perfection, it is very important to guide you with slow steps and detours. Meanwhile, a deep silence, with respect to your original history, must be heeded; and for this patience ance your consent is obtained with readiness more than I expected.