ARTHUR
88
These words did not dispel the jealousy betrayed by his appearance. He was still reluctant to look at me, and said, "I don't know how I should tell you every single thing . You care so little about me that my— will only be troublesome. I am old enough to think and act for myself, and will counsel with anyone but myself."
"That's right" I said. "I'd love to see you independent and free. Consult your own understanding, and act according to his orders. No one wants to make you happy and useful. I'd like to go back to town, but, if you'll let me, I'll go first to Malverton, see that everything's in order, and that old Caleb's fine. He may, on the contrary, pretend and form wrong views in himself and harm you. He may think himself entitled to manage your possessions. He may have thought a will had been made, or may have actually heard from your father, or from someone else, from what you burned, and where he was appointed executor. His boisterous and dirty temperament can drive him to take away your house and belongings, unless he knows the truth in a timely manner; and, when he knows the truth, he may begin to get angry, he may begin to, that would be more suitable for me to deal with than you the anger of a hat turning him into a vicious madman. Should I call him?"
He shuddered at the image I made of his uncle's character; but these emotions quickly gave him a place to self-deprecate for the way he turned down my service offer. She cried once more, and exclaimed, "I am not worthy of the pain you took for me. I am heartless and ungrateful. Why should I think badly of you for hating me, when I hate myself?"
"ah! how you mistook me! I admire and approve your plan. What makes me angry and depressed, that you consider me unfit to take part in your care and work; that you consider my company to be a hindrance and a burden; that help and advice should all come out of you; and no scene suits me, but what you consider to be laziness and humiliation.
“Didn't I also claim to be a wise, active, and courageous person, like you? If I'm stupid and weak, don't I owe you the same cause that made you so? Is your progress useful to me as well? You want to acquire knowledge, by traveling and talking to many people, and learning many sciences; but you want it for yourself. I you think poor, weak, and despicable; unsuitable for anything other than to turn and stir. As long as I exist, protected from the weather, enough to eat and drink, you are satisfied. As for strengthening my mind and expanding my knowledge, these things are valuable to you, but to me they are discarded. I don't deserve that gift."