ARTHUR
55

The house and its furniture have no tenants and are unprotected. It can be robbed and looted by desperate bastards who many say hunt for booty even at times like these. If this were to ignore this residence, the unknown successor or heir of Thetford would probably take it all. Countless accidents may have occurred at what event of destruction or embezzlement belonged to Wallace, which might have been preventable by the behavior I now had to do.

Drowning in this confusion, I remained confused and motionless. I was finally awakened by someone knocking on the door. Austin complied with that signal, and went straight back, leading—Mr. Hadwin !

I don't know if this unexpected interview made me very sad or surprised. The motive for his arrival is easy to guess. His travels on two accounts were redundant. The one he was looking for is dead. The task of ensuring his condition has been assigned to myself.

Now I realize and regret the mistake I have made, in hiding the journey I am heading towards from my protector. Ignoring the part I had done, he had rushed into the jaws of this pest, and was endangering a very precious life for his children and friends. I must have gotten his approval thanking him for the project I had created; but my bad policy had led me down this secret path. Confidentiality may rarely be a crime. A virtuous intention can produce it; but surely it is always wrong and destructive.

My friend's astonishment at seeing me was not inferior to my own. The causes that led to this unexpected interview are explained to each other. To calm his son's misery, he agrees to approach the city, and seeks to gain Wallace's intelligence. When he left his house, he intended to stop around him, and hire some envoys, who would probably be tempted to enter the city, and get the required information.

No one can be persuaded to run such a dangerous service. Refusing to return without doing his duty, he concludes to check for himself. The transfer of Thetford to this street was known to him; but, not knowing my purpose, he did not mention this circumstance to me, during our last conversation.

I realized the danger Hadwin was experiencing by entering the city. Perhaps my knowledge of the indescribable importance of her life to the happiness of her daughters made me exacerbate her danger. I knew that the longer he lingered in this polluted air, the more the danger increased. A momentary delay is not necessary. Neither Wallace nor myself were able to benefit from his presence.

I mentioned his nephew's death as an excuse to hasten his departure. I urged him very hard to ride back his horse and fly; I tried to block all questions about myself or Wallace; promised to follow him immediately, and answer all his questions in Malverton . My interests were forced by his own fear, and, after a moment of hesitation, he left.

The emotions generated by this incident, in the current critical condition, were extremely painful. My horrible indications suddenly came back. I have reason to regard my condition as my visit to Maravegli's room; but this and its consequences for myself, as well as Hadwin's trip, are the fruit of my unhappy secrecy.

In the meantime, how should I continue? What hinders me from pursuing Hadwin's trail with all the expeditions that allow my anxiety, brain and stomach? I imagine that letting anything get undone, with respect to Wallace, would be absurd. Her property may be under the supervision of my new friend. How do you distinguish it from the property of others? It is, perhaps, contained in a rod, designated by some label or mark. I didn't know the room, but, by moving from one to the other, I was finally able to find it. A few signs, directing my steps, might happen, though this moment is unexpected.

Encouraged by this consideration, I once again entered the Thetford residence. I regret that I did not get the advice or presence of my new friend; but some engagements, whose nature was not explained, made her leave me as soon as breakfast was over.

I wandered around this quiet house, in a fairly large degree, at random. The pestilent effluvia attacked me from every angle. In the front room of the second floor, I imagined finding the remnants of the calamity that happened last night. The bed looked as if someone had just been dragged from it. The sheets are colored in yellow, and with a substance said to be characteristic of this disease, gangrene or black vomit. The floor shows similar stains.

There are many who would consider my behavior to be the final refinement of courage, or heroism. Indeed, nothing confuses me more than a review of my own behavior. No, indeed, death is an object that has always been feared, or that my motives do not justify my actions; but of all dangers, those who are allied with pestilence, by being mysterious and invisible, by being, it is the greatest. To strip them of their terror requires the longest familiarity. Nurses and doctors soon become intrepid or indifferent; but the rest of humanity retreats from the scene with an invincible hatred.

I am sustained, not by the belief in salvation, and the belief in deliverance from this disease, or by the influence of habit, which binds us to all things disgusting or harmful, he said, but by the belief that this is as good as the road to death as any other; and that life is a trivial sacrifice in duty.

I moved from one room to another. A portmanteau, marked by the initials of the name Wallace, at length caught my attention. From these circumstances I concluded that this apartment had been occupied by him. The room was neatly arranged, and it looked as if no one had used it lately. There's a suitcase and drawers. The one I have mentioned is the only one who has a Wallace ownership mark. This I raised in my hand with the intention of moving it to the house of Medlicote .

At that moment, I thought I heard footsteps slowly and constantly climbing the stairs. I am confused by this incident. The footsteps had a ghost-like solemnity and delay. This ghost disappeared in an instant, and produced a simpler conjecture. A human being is approached, whose position and duties cannot be understood. That we were strangers to each other is easy to imagine; but how would my appearance, in this secluded space, and laden with other people's property, be interpreted? Did he enter the house after me, or was he tenant of some room that hitherto had never been visited; whose entrance I had woken up from his trance and called from his couch?