Brave Things
The Part 21 Hormone

What I feel right now is, tightness.

Ever since I found out I was pregnant, Jimin seemed to be getting busy with his work. The more I don't have time for it.

His home is often late, even then immediately spent in confinement in his study.

I asked about this, Jimin said he was busy because he was in Peak Season. But impossible to last for 3 months in a row?

Fortunately my womb passed through the first trimester safely, not fussy at all even without enough attention from the husband.

My stomach started to bulge and some of my clothes were already uncomfortable for me to wear. So for a few days now I was looking for clothes in Jimin's closet, in addition to being larger in size, I also scavenged the scent of my husband left behind in his usual suit.

Tonight, I will go back to sleep alone in my room.

I just took a shower at 11pm, found Jimin rushing to bring his laptop into the study and closing the door. He'll spend another night there.

If Jisung so settled here, I would definitely not feel the sudden rush of Jimin. Unfortunately he and Hanji instead returned to training on the spot yesterday. Hanji must have been having a hard time taking care of the boy at school and practicing at once.

My eyes warmed, realizing that the pillow Jimin used to hug to replace his presence, he took to the study. I have nothing else that can make me feel accompanied by him here.

Miris once, how changed his attitude towards me like an 180-degree angle. From the very needy and clingy, so cold impressed keep the distance.

I gasped when I heard the door open, until I couldn't wipe away the tears that ran down my cheeks.

"I missed my laptop charger." He muttered as he opened the drawer next to our bed.

While I was only looking at him who did not even bother to look at me, even though I was sitting at the end of the bed, crying and holding my stomach which contained his son.

"Jim..."

"Hmm?" The answer is, still without looking at me.

"Your charger's in the bag." My voice shakes even though I try to press.

So he finally realized that I was not okay. Because of my negligence in suppressing the voice so as not to sound vibrating after crying.

"Why? Is anyone sick?" He approached, holding and stroking my shoulders gently.

His touch on my left shoulder even felt very soothing, like a palanquin, making me want to sleep in his arms.

But what I did was shake my head and smile, "Since I've seen a sad movie."

"Hahh, you're this. Just make me worry." He immediately pulled out his hand that had rubbed me, "Why have the night baths been going on lately? Dry your hair and you have a fever." Continue turning around and walking away.

He didn't even ask me how I felt, or offend me who always wore his shirt, or ask me if I craved anything.

As busy as Jimin used to be, it never got this little to me.

"Jim, don't sleep here?" I said before he went through the door.

"I have to do some more work. Go to sleep, I won't disturb your sleep."

But my sleep was always disturbed in his absence.

He had gotten me used to sleeping in his arms, then suddenly attracted all that attention when I needed it.

I really didn't want to burden him, let alone worry him. But it seems too excessive if you cut time completely with me to do office work.

Again I fell asleep in a curled position hugging my own stomach.

.

.

"No need to make breakfast, I'm in a hurry."

Jimin looked chased for time to leave, even his watch was still not installed perfectly.

"But the bread is almost ripe."

"Ck, you're quick to serve."

Perhaps because I was too nervous, or depressed because I was urged to rush to prepare food, I tripped on my own feet when I stepped.

The plate I was holding slipped off, falling scattering on the floor. Fortunately I immediately held on to the kitchen counter, I can't imagine if I fell down in this pregnant state.

I squatted down and cleaned up the broken plate, but Jimin pulled my arm,

"How can it be left? We don't have a maid!"

Wow, I don't have the fuss of getting those words out in the form of a shout.

My eyes immediately looked at him, trying to examine whether my attitude had just caused him to be ignited by anger or not.

"Yes, let me do it. You just sit down."

It was hard to believe how Jimin patiently lifted me up and sat me on the kitchen counter, while he picked up the broken glass and vacuumed it clean.

His way of working, how he rolled up his white shirt sleeves, how he styled his hair to comb back...

Just staring at him cleaning up the broken dishes just made my blood rustle violently.

He finally came up to me, standing between my legs slightly higher than his stomach.

"Don't be so careless like that again, yeah. You have a responsibility to keep something here." His hand rubbed my stomach gently.

"Sorry." Say slowly.

For a second I did not let my eyes turn away from his face. Jimin rubbed my head, touched my cheek and tidied my hair with attention.

Ah, it feels like it's been a long time since I've looked at her from this close.

As he drew his face closer, I thought he would kiss my lips. I had even closed my eyes happily, but it turned out that he had landed his kiss on my right cheek.

"I'm hustling. Is it okay if I eat bread on the street?" Soft question.

With a hunting breath and a blank mind, I nodded as long as I did so.

Either because it has not been close to him for a long time, or because of the hormones of pregnancy, it feels a little touch from Jimin can make my hair goosebumps.

I. miss being touched by him.

.

.

.

"Just do it the way you were when you were recently married to him. When he won't touch you." Hanji said casually on the phone.

"Oh, I can't!"

I can't tell you that the first time Jimin did it to me was when he was angry, however I wanted to keep my husband's good name.

"Then just ask, just say you need ****."

"I'm ashamed!"

"Then you just hold it, spend the rest of your pregnancy alone." His tone began to get annoyed at not finding a solution to my question.

I'm also confused, the problem is this is the first time I feel the need to be touched by Jimin. How I dream of his fingers tracing my body, even scavenging the aroma in every item he used to wear.

Anyway, she could have ignored me at a time like this, when I see other pregnant women are usually very spoiled by her husband. Especially my pregnancy.

Maybe the bored factor, too, since becoming pregnant, Jimin has become increasingly difficult to give me permission to travel. Moreover, Hanji no longer works for me, but for Jisung.

If it was before pregnancy, usually bored I can handle it by cleaning the house, taking care of plants, watching netflix and others. If now, I often get tired of doing all that, also my energy is like easily absorbed if too much cleaning the house.

Jimin said, I can participate in gymnastics pregnant women every weekend with a note I have to go with him. There should also be a place to wait while he drinks coffee and works, so he can keep an eye on me while opening the laptop.

It occurred to me, to join the studio that Meredith suggested to me, he said there was gymnastics pregnant women as well. But it felt too risky for me to meet Meredith there despite the different times.

Maybe I'll try to talk to Jimin when he gets home from work, ask him to help me register where he thinks I can go.

After calling Hanji earlier, and finding that there was no solution that could make Jimin cling back to me, I gave up.

I'd rather also look for busyness than cry for the busyness of Jimin who is so bad that he doesn't have time for me.

I need refreshing!

In a moment he said he would be home, had already informed will also go home early today. Maybe that's why he left in a hurry, because he started work earlier than usual so go home sooner than usual.