Brave Things
The Part 23 Looking for Something

"Jimin..."

He smiled, right in front of my face when I mentioned his name and purposely let go of our kiss.

I felt so burned, I couldn't hold on much longer to play with Jimin's fingers down there. While he's like enjoying his time playing around with the parts of my body that he likes.

There was no intention for her to distance our faces, even though I had turned away from her gaze and chose to look up closed. He still faithfully looked at me from the side, his hand still holding me, completely unperturbed even though his left hand was back as a pillow for my head.

"You're gonna be the sexiest mom in the world." she whispered in my ear.

There was something in his voice that made me feel immersed in his game.

"You like it, don't you? You miss me touching this?" Her lips tickled my cheek that was almost attached to her, uttering erotic words in a soft, sensual tone.

Jimin is the master of the bed.

My body was writhing again for it. Favors and pains became one when his left hand that became my cushion, without difficulty reaching the top of my chest and twisting it with anxiety.

"Danghh... Jim.." - Jim..."

If this sigh of mine can feed his ego, then I will continue to sigh with pleasure tonight.

"Anak, Lun?" He raised his face and re-created eye contact with me.

I nodded, not lying. It feels like my thirst for these few weeks has found its spring.

Jimin managed to make me forget all my burdens, feel like young people are just drunk with romance. Even though when viewed down a little, it looks very much how my stomach is bulging pregnant 4 months.

"Jimmm, I also want to spoil you.." I asked when Jimin had left my side.

He positioned his face down there, still slightly raising my head to see me who was still fussy.

"No, don't bother me having fun here." His face was very thin.

"Aahhh, Jim.." I don't know when I received this special treatment from Jimin last time, it seems like when I obeyed him when he was told to go to bed earlier on the weekend.

Her tongue was so amazing, moving it touched my sensitive point sensually. Until it feels like my stomach is also tense in the face of these attacks.

He immediately let me go when he saw me wriggling holding my stomach. His voice panicked, as if regretting having done all this to me.

"Why? Why stomach?" He crawled up and helped me caress my stomach.

Well, how do you say it?

Shame that I said my stomach was tight because it was too excited in this bed activity.

"Uh, can you go ahead? I'm okay." Answer shy. Unable to look at him, trying to hide and stick my head to his bare chest.

But Jimin did not seem to accept the ambiguous answer. He immediately grabbed both of my shoulders and kept them away,

"Hey! Luna Park!" Jimin looked at me seriously, "Look at my eyes when I'm talking!"

Missing already the figure of Jimin flirty and fun earlier, left Jimin authoritarian and do not like to be denied.

"I'm fine, Jim." Answer mid-spirited.

It was uncomfortable, stopped in the middle of the road and had to be interrogated like now. It was also upset with him who was too over-faced with this.

For a few seconds, I didn't hear Jimin's answer. I turned to him and realized something was wrong.

I was puzzled as to why he was so hit, and only realized what he saw when he followed his gaze to my stomach.

My arms turned back to embrace the stomach, honestly I did not realize to do it when he snapped at me earlier, like instinct alone and directly hugged my own stomach.

We both fell silent after both realizing that I was protecting my stomach from Jimin's anger just now,

I screwed up the atmosphere.

Impossible to continue again.

Predictably what happened next, Jimin scrambled his hair slowly and got out of our bed. He grabbed his pants on the floor and put them on.

Jimin even walked out the door without looking back at me.

Oh lord.

I forgot the fact that my husband was traumatized, was he positioning myself to be Anna trying to protect his fetus?

But my position is different, he's my husband. He's not gonna hurt me. I was just moving based on my subconscious when Jimin raised his voice to me earlier. I didn't know it was gonna be like this.

I'm weighing. Should I solve this problem right now? I just don't want Jimin to sleep with a load on his shoulders, I have to explain that nothing really happened to me or my fetus. I also did not feel threatened, just instinct because I had been upset with him.

Finally I took my nightgown and walked out of the room to look for Jimin.

Cold air swept me when I reached the living room, it turned out that Jimin was on the balcony and his Sliding door was wide open, it was natural to feel the night wind blowing in this space.

"Why here? Your stomach will be bloated." Soft words.

I still didn't dare touch her, afraid Jimin was still emotional and ended up standing over me. I can't imagine how broken my heart would be until that happened.

"Jimin, go yuk? It's cold here."

Finally I got his attention, if I had complained for sure he would care a lot, sometimes even too much and ended up annoying as it just happened.

"You're the one who came in, I didn't tell you to come here." His gaze was so cold.

I don't know what's on his mind right now, but I do know he's hurt. It must be hard to live with regrets and traumas like Jimin.

"You don't have to be like this, I trust you. I just reflexively hugged my stomach because you're a bitch."

I sighed, it was hard to restore Jimin's mood when it was like this.

"I don't believe in myself." He answered after a few seconds of silence.

"I have to stop everything, no more lives can be ruined because of me." He continued, his gaze was empty and far away looked out there.

"No life is ruined because of you, it's all fate!" It was painful to see Jimin continue to blame himself on something that happened outside his power.

"...i don't want to ruin your life either, I'll take care of you, look after the baby..." He kept talking as if he couldn't hear anything I said.

This man was the one who needed the most help, but allowed himself to live without help.

There is nothing more stifling than unresolved trauma. And Jimin is still stuck in that situation.

I don't want it to be sustainable, I want my son to be born and see that his mother's father is a happy couple, inside and out, without being limited to a deadly black line like this.

"You need professional help, Jim." I said slowly, not sure if he would hear me because he was deaf and thought I didn't exist.

With a sigh, I pulled him inside. Didn't expect Jimin to let the body slide in and let me lock the door and close the curtains tight.

"Can you sleep in one room with me or not?" I asked firmly, trying to look big and brave when I saw Jimin's shaky condition.

"Then I'll scare you, then hurt you." Chaotic answer.

"No, you're not gonna do it. But if you really don't want to be in one room with me, then I'll sleep on the couch."

"What?! No!" The sergeant didn't take it.

"I can't keep letting you sleep in the study. You're going to the office early in the afternoon, you have to sleep at your maximum." Obviously I'm patient, I don't want him to think weird anymore.

"... I'm sorry."

I hugged her, this time loving-spirited without tucking in the slightest lust.

Jimin wasn't as strong as I thought he was, he was devastated. Devastated in a sense, she is no longer the same after the calamity that befell her and her former lover Anna.

Seeing his weakness that I thought was not there, it made me fall in love even more. I didn't want to leave because I thought we needed each other the same.

"Are you really okay?" He asked as he rubbed my back gently.

"Yes, I was just tense because it felt so intense..."

I heard that Jimin was able to laugh again, "Is the baby angry?" Jimin said foolishly.

"It could be that she misses you too much, you haven't said anything to her all this time." I said pretending to be upset.

Jimin was too careful, this was the reason. I just understood, she kept her distance not only to protect me and my baby, but she also protected her feelings. He did not want to worry and panic like that which caused his mind to drift too far.

He then let go of our embrace and looked at my face seriously.

"Surely there's been one thing that's been bugging my mind all this time, ever since you fainted and went to the hospital."

Really? Any other reason? Oh lord...

"What?" Me ask carefully.

"I don't know, I feel that my actions towards Jisung are a little excessive."

Is he just realizing this now? After Jisung no longer slobber on his arm or my arm? I don't even know her new phone number right now.

"Why can you think like that?" I tried to be a mediator, not wanting to blame her excessively.

"I saw it, on the CCTV footage when you passed out. He's right here..."

My nightmare has come true, I don't want to hear this if it's real, I'd rather pretend I don't know.

Jimin grabbed my cheek that was still silent, "I changed all the passwords of this house. He's standing at the door every day when I'm working and you're home alone."

"I don't understand what he's doing, but I'm always watching him. Even at night I don't care to monitor all the cameras here."

"That's why you didn't sleep in the room?"

"Yes. I want to know why every morning and evening, he was thrown away and went home from school he always stood in front of the door of this house without trying to enter. He also always runs away from Hanji."

"You should know what happened to him! You left it to Hanji when we went to Australi!" I couldn't hold back my anger so I slightly cornered Jimin.

"Maybe they let Jisung steal something he shouldn't have heard..."