Chaos Wedding
It's exhausting once

Bella looks up at the sky while breathing out slowly as Satya who just tried to question Bella's departure and runs out to see who. Just looking for the right answer to the question, suddenly the man fell asleep with his head falling on the side of his collarbone.

For a moment, Bella felt her heart would soon explode if the influence of alcohol did not first eliminate Satya's consciousness. He really didn't think of any answer to say to Satya if only the man still insisted on wanting to know where he was and who he met out there.

Because really, Bella is not ready if Satya knows who Rayhan is and previously had a relationship with him.

Should he be honest or continue with everything as before? Pretending nothing happened?

Actually, that's not the only thing that makes Bella nervous. To be honest he was also thinking about other things, things that were previously very far from his shadow. Maybe in a conscious state Satya will not think about it or easily Satya could have said that the man had no intention of doing anything to Bella.

Not until Bella agrees to do it. But different if the man was unconscious due to the influence of alcohol, something impossible could have happened if someone was khilaf or intentionally.

Moreover, the sentences that were thrown sounded so ambiguous, making Bella on one side frightened. Fortunately, the influence of alcohol quickly took over Satya's consciousness, or else she no longer knew what to do.

It's nothing, Bella's just not ready and she's not sure she'll be ready any time soon. Doing it with Satya whose heart is still attached to other women makes it hard to believe to give everything that has been well maintained so far.

Moreover, his heart was still in pain after deciding to end his relationship with Rayhan. His chest was even still throbbing when he recalled how Rayhan was looking at him with a nanar gaze filled with deep sadness. If only he had not tried so hard earlier, he was sure his cries would have broken and said all the reasons for severing the relationship between the two. In fact, he will correct all his words about the word break up before he stepped foot out of the cinema.

Bella breathed heavily again. He was tired ..very tired of his life. He felt his calm life was now inversely proportional and felt heavy. Living a life of marriage without love turns out to be so torturous.

"Why is all this so exhausting, Lord?" sigh Bella with a voice that sounds squeaking.

Bella then turned to stare at the man who was still asleep comfortably by her side. He could even feel how each of the man's breaths touched the skin of his neck.

"Why are you going?"

The voice came from Satya, although it was spoken clearly but Bella could hear it clearly.

Is that word meant for Luna? How much did you suffer for the woman's departure to the point of being carried away into a dream? Did you meet her in that dream?

Imagine that, why does it hurt, huh? Bella feels that she and Satya are just two foolish humans who choose to survive this torturous bond. Just because they wanted to please the crowd, they agreed to persevere. Though their hearts are equally tormented, because they both have their own happiness.

Seeing Satya who looks restless in her sleep, makes Bella take the initiative to calm her down. As she calms a baby, Bella pats Satya on the back. Trying to provide a sense of comfort to return to sleep soundly.

Not long after, the man actually fell back asleep comfortably. Hearing Satya delirious, her fear of loss made Bella's heart break.

Although he is sometimes fed up with the man, but like him, Satya must have gone through a difficult time as well.

If only, Bella or Satya had not given up all feelings to someone before their current life partner. Maybe, the problem won't end so complicated.

Isn't it always easier to paint on a canvas that has never been inked, rather than changing the canvas that has been illustrated with another image, right?

Once again, Bella looked back at Satya. This time he wanted to try to stare at the man longer so that he might feel tired and fall asleep, but like the warm summer light when it is cold, Satya suddenly appears like a sun in Bella's view.

"It's weird" he thought to himself.

There are many reasons why someone can easily fall in love with a man like Satya, besides because he is handsome and rich, Bella also believes that Satya is a sincere figure.

The man may not be as bad as Bella thought. Maybe no longer a teenager whose naughty is not playing by constantly mocking and bullying his physique, then laughing at him when he saw his eyes had turned reddish and ready to cry. Nor is it the man who suddenly disappears from his life and makes the love that has not been able to bloom it runs aground instantly.

There used to be a lot of questions in Bella's head, like how she could like the guy. Bella thinks her former self is nothing more than a teenage girl who yearns for the perfect figure to fill her teenage years, and Satya meets all those criteria.

But since long ago, was not Bella the one who never tried to get to know Satya better?

The relationship between the two could have gone better if Bella wanted to try to understand Satya as the same human being as herself.

"Does this relationship work, Satya? Or should we end it all?"

Bella said as if asking Satya, which of course had no answer because the man was still fast asleep.

Yes, Bella can only express her heart when things are like this. He wouldn't have possibly said it all when Satya came to his senses. Because Bella won't be able to, until anytime.

Bella then pulls her hand in a careful motion, then moves Satya's head where it should be, on the other side of their bed. To be honest, he felt much better afterwards. At least, Bella should not be tormented to hear her heart beating very hard, even felt will explode at any time.

The woman pulled back the blanket to cover her body and Satya. Before falling asleep, Bella looked back at the ceiling.

Maybe ... maybe, everything will just be a possibility. Possibility to be loved and to be loved.

Bella's mind was filled with questions. Is it possible that he can be a fulfillment of the emptiness of a Satya Brawijaya?

Is it possible that he could have things that from the beginning were not his own and were not meant for him?

Could it?