Dejavu
Chapter new lives and unexpected news
In the first days of college, Tianing focused on taking care of everything in college. Thank God, all of his classmates were made specifically for Bappenas class. So everyone expected the same fate as Tianing, separated from their respective families. Tianing was still grateful that the distance of his house was not too far away, because many of his classmates were from outside Java. Tianing could easily blend in with all his friends so Tianing's turmoil and fear were reduced.
Tianing's college days went smoothly without any obstacles.
As for Harya, she fulfilled her promise to continue accompanying Tianing from afar. He always called Tianing every morning.
But there are still things that make him sad. At the boarding house, he had no friends. All the hostess residents are very selfies, no matter each other, all confine themselves in their respective rooms. Tianing had asked some of his campuses to move around with him, but no one was willing. Tianing was completely unprepared for this condition, considering that when S1 first attended college in Jogja, in one boarding house, all the residents all knew each other, helped each other and became close friends.
Tianing was getting sadder, because every night he felt lonely. Fahri rarely responds when he chat.
"just fall asleep, it's night"
"Snakes busy doing Dek work"
"Just like Adek's college friends just talk about it. Brother is also the same college friend Brother"
"Take Adek now bachelors...Adek can be free to play with Adek's friends, do not depend on Brother, because Brother is also a heavy college load here"
fahri's answers made Tianing sadder and more alone.
Fahri did not understand at all that Tianing still needed support. Tianing every night could not sleep because he was used to sleeping with the King. The hot air temperature of Surabaya city, also made Tianing feel uncomfortable. No friends at the boarding house, while he feels bad if the nights bother his college friends. There's no way she's been calling Harya at night. Tianing had been keeping up, not to disturb Harya at night. Not out of fear of being discovered by her mother Tika, but more out of respect for Harya's privacy, because the night is entirely for her family.
Wanting at all times to call the King, but he remembered the message of his brothers not to call the King first. Tianing every day just called Uti, to make sure that the King was okay. And he was also determined not to go home until the Eid holiday. He longed deeply for the King until it was time for a holiday. A longing that made him never sleep at night. His eyes can only be closed if the clock has shown at 04.00 in the morning.
Harya repeatedly asked that she could visit Tianing to Surabaya, but Tianing always said that he was still very busy in college, so he did not have time to see Harya.
Tianing struggled to conquer Surabaya and his own fears.
Although it was heavy, Tianing was finally able to get through the first 1 month. For 1 month Fahri had not visited him to Surabaya from Malang. And can be counted by the fingers they communicate. Tianing was completely taken off by Fahri. Hence he soared with excitement as he was finally able to go home. Fahri himself had gone home first to Solo the day before.
Arriving in Solo, he picked up Fahri and Raja at the station from Uti-Kakung's house as they were going straight home to them. Tianing's heart was bursting when he was about to meet the King. As he opened the car door, Tianing was stunned in shock. He saw the King was very thin. The king looked at the old Tianing with puzzlement, a pushy look and no reaction. From the look of the King's eyes, Tianing caught that the King was trying to remember who the figure in front of him was. Tianing's heart seemed to be shattered instantly.
"Hey baby.this is mom...The king forgot yes the mother" Tianing said slowly holding back a cry. The king put him in his lap. Tianing could no longer stem his tears.
"I miss you so much baby" the King looked at Tianing fixedly, held Tianing's face, smiled, then kissed Tianing's cheek. Tianing's cry broke out. He hugged the King tightly, kissed him for a long time. The little hand of the King hugged Tianing tightly. The king is not a talkative boy, but he is a very intelligent boy. At the age of still PAUD, he was fluent in reading and writing because he taught himself by self-taught. He also memorized many world maps. Names of countries, cities of the world, islands, mountains, rivers. In fact, he memorized many state flags, because he really liked the book atlas given by his brother.
"I'm sorry dear mother.sorry mother.." only that word can be said from Tianing's lips. He felt so guilty to the King. At once he promised that he would come home at least 2 weeks and would call him often.
Tianing had 2 weeks off, and he was full to spend his time accompanying the King. In week 2 he shuttle the King of the school, so he gets a report of his development at the school. He was very happy because his father told him that the King was a special child with his intelligence. But they also said that the King sometimes looks dreamy silent on his own and when asked he said kangen Bunda. Tianing's heart felt scratched hearing that.
Did not feel the time of 2 weeks has finished Tianing must return to Surabaya. But Fahri had returned to Malang the day before because there was a lecture schedule. Knowing that, Harya immediately gercep ready to take Tianing to the station.
They chatted at length during the trip while taking off longing. Until then..
"Sir, I want a story." said Harya carefully, but a twinkle of happiness in her eyes that tried to hide.
"i deliberately waited for Adek to come home, because I wanted to tell this directly to Adek, not by phone" continued Harya.
"What story ?" ask Tianing. He's already smelled an unpleasant gelagat.
Harya clasped Tianing's hand.
"Before Brother apologized yes Dek if for example this news will make Adek disappointed"
Harya tightened her hand.
"The first time Tika was pregnant" Harya said slowly
Tianing. The world seemed to stop. Overwhelming shadow of his moments of togetherness with Harya and all the series of plans and hopes ahead collapsed instantly. He wanted to scream loudly at that moment, but a second later he remembered the twinkle of happiness in Harya's eyes, even though it was hidden. He looked back at Harya desperately trying to find answers to his heart's unrest from Harya's eyes, but not a single word came out of his lips.
Harya caught the mimicry of Tianing's face.
"Sorry Dek, disappointed Adek. But Tika had a little sister for a long time" Harya said later.
Tianing continued to look at Harya. In the heart talk "ohh.real what is in our hearts so far is not the same tho. It turns out that my only hope, my only hope, was not my hope together. All my future plans are just my imagination. Already, the further away is this false hope"
"No need to apologize, brother. That's right, Tika's age has been 9 years too. It was appropriate that he had a younger brother" but these words were spoken on his lips.
"Congratulations, brother" he continued flatly
Harya silently did not answer because she realized that she had hurt Tianing. And no more chatter between the two reached the station.
"Pamit ya sis" Tianing kissed Harya's hand without looking at Harya's eyes.
"I'll take it inside, yes, I wait until the train comes" Pinta Harya.
"no need. Brother just go home" Tianing replied. He smiled and entered the station. A smile that seemed made up.
Harya felt very sad to see Tianing's reaction like that. He didn't expect it to be like that. He had thought Tianing would be happy as well because he was happy about getting his second son who had been waiting for him for a long time.
All the way on the Tianing train was crying. He felt it was unfair to him. What will he do next. What decision to make. The shadow of memories flashed in his memory. "Do I have to end this relationship, so he can focus on his wife's pregnancy"
"But a 3-year relationship is not a short time. And we've been able to survive this far, despite the ups and downs, finally the power of love reunites"
"But I have hope, I have a plan that I've been working on going forward. And now I feel like everything's collapsing 'cause of the news. I feel like there's no hope anymore"
"Hope ? Which hope is it ? it's just your wild imagination Ning ! not a good hope. Divorced from Fahri, then Harya moved to your religion, so he will automatically divorce from his wife, then you will be able to marry, then you will live happily with King and Tika? It was just the wild imagination of your dirty brain product Ning. Reality is not that simple"
Tianing.
A second later came Harya's words when Tianing asked for certainty from Harya, wanted to go ahead and dare to make a big decision with all the risks, or just stop here.
"Oh..if Adek peg currently should be so, I can not. Because for me, we are like this is enough, I am happy. But if Adek wants more, I can't, and if we have to part, I follow Adek's will. But remember, it's Adek's wish, not mine. I just follow Adek's wishes if it makes Adek feel better. But I, I don't want to part from Adek"
Yes, for 3 more years they established closeness, already 3 times Tianing asked for farewell. Harya always complied with the note as above "I do not want to separate from Adek". He took that step only so that things would not get worse, because he understood very well the character of Tianing that he had to obey his wishes, and if not then things would get worse. And always too, the breakup only lasted for a maximum of 1 month. After that Tianing will return to contact Harya, as she cannot live without Harya's support. And Harya would definitely gladly accept Tianing back.
Tianing's heart was like it was sliced into a chill remembering all of that.
"So all this time, it was just me who was too hopeful, while Big Brother was not..."
Tianing continued to cry, until he finally fell asleep from exhaustion. Tired of heart, tired of mind.
The sound of a special roar of the train sent Tianing to Surabaya, adding to the heartbreak penetrated into his soul.