Dejavu
Two losses

The day after Harya returned from Surabaya to visit Tianing...

"Hallo brother.I want a story.." call Tianing early in the morning.

"There's an e...tumben call early in the morning" replied Harya, who was still on her way to work.

"Sister, last night suddenly my stomach starts bleeding. There were blood clots and like there was meat...I may miscarry, brother"

"Huh...!!" Harya was shocked, and immediately marginalized her car.

"Have you said Fahri ?" Harya panicked

"I mean brother ?" tianing's voice was rising

"Yes..preferably the story to the Fahri tho Dek ?"

"Crazy brother ! Let me be that geger ? This brother doesn't understand yet ?! I'm not KB brother.and I if the same father the King always use security. Meanwhile, if the same brother never uses safety. If it's true I'm pregnant and miscarried, it's our son !" obviously Tianing with a high yet sad tone.

"Sorry Dek, I was panicking so I didn't think until then." replied Harya, her voice changed from a panicked one to a sad one.

Their minutes were silent...

"Sir is sad now. Though I would feel very happy if it was our child" Harya's hoarse voice sounded from across.

"Unfortunately yesterday I just returned from Surabaya yes.not maybe also now back there again"

That was actually what Tianing felt. In her deepest heart she was eager to conceive her son Harya.

They're crying...

"Sister..but why now my stomach is no longer sick ?" tianing said after a moment they dissolved in sadness.

"Is she okay now ? Just check on Dek.." proposed Harya

"Check where ? I don't know where to check here..."

"Wait...Adek remember my cousin who helped find Adek's kost. Brother phone him yes, to take Adek to check into the hospital where he works. Trus later Adek call also make an agreement. I sent the contact yes"

"Isn't it okay brother I'm the same brother brother brother ?"

"It's okay.."

"Okay..."

An hour later..

"Dek, I've notified him, Adek just call ya..."

"Good brother..."

But many times Tianing tried to contact Harya's brother but never responded, just read it.

Finally Tianing undo the intention of the preamble and left for college. She is not 100% sure if she actually miscarried.

She told Harya, and she said that she was fine that morning, just feeling a little tired and sleepy.

Over time Tianing forgot that, although he was once a little jealous, because Arin was pregnant with his son Harya, while he failed. But once again he sets his heart and mind "it's true he should be, he's his wife and you're nobody" to strengthen himself.

A month later, when Harya visited.

"Since yesterday we lost our son. And another month Tika's mother lahiran. I want the child who was born later to be Adek's son"

"What does brother mean ?" Tian asked confusedly.

"Brother of you Adek gave the name of the boy"

"Cowok did the big sister get her USG results ?"

"Turkey"

"Well, what a coincidence.formerly school age I ever thought, if you have a boy would not love the name Gabriel" Harya auto shocked

"I know.thats not a moeslim name.but I really like that name. Its sound so angelic. But it can't happen either. You know what Fahri is like" Tianing replied

"Adek know..kak when it read the book "About Islam You Need to Know" sent Adek, And brother fell in love with the same name: Kamil.which means "perfect" right ? Alright, I will make it happen for Adek" Harya said steadily, while ruffling Tianing's hair.

"Thank you brother"

The next few days

"Sister.how's the news about Arin ?" these few days Tianing just suddenly thought of Arin continues.

"Why is it that suddenly nanyain's mother Tika ? Tumben" asked Harya back.

"No idea, I'm just thinking about it. Lately he confided in sosmed always about patience and prayer. Trus sister-sister, including cousin brother who was also on the comment strengthen it so." Tianing.

"Mbak Arin know I went to college in Surabaya ?"

"Yes know Dek.masa does not know.." Harya was astonished to hear Tianing's question.

"Well, I guess Arin knew my sister used to come to see me. Lest he often scrapped to his sister Brother, his real brother returned to the house of Surabaya or not. I'm just worried sis; yesterday brother story lately tension mbak Arin high. Let's not think of us, brother"

"The time anyway ?. Not ah.."

"I don't know, it's just a girl's instinct. If you look at his sister's comments, they seem to know too, including cousin's brother, so he did not respond to me. Their comments always strengthen Mbak Arin, mbak Arin can not give up, fight with diligent prayer, and the like. So brother...Maybe my sister's family was thinking too, used to rarely go back to Surabaya, but when I went to college in Surabaya, my sister became very diligent going home and forth. I think Arin knows, but he chose not to make a fuss with brother because he was afraid that brother would leave him" Tianing made a lengthy analysis.

"But at home he's doing fine and it's normal Deck. If the tension is high, it has long had that history. Tika was pregnant once too. Adek do not need to feel guilty so Dek, not overthinking. It's just Adek's mind.It has nothing to do with Adek really"

"Let's see brother.I just feel that way.."

That weekend Tianing remembered that the day was Arin's HPL. Tianing decided to go to Malang to visit Fahri. The reason is because it does not want to interfere with the busyness and happiness of Harya to welcome the birth of her child. But the real reason was to seek escape because he would feel very envious of the birth.

Tianing plans to take Fahri to the streets of Malang city and play to the mall all day.

The next morning, Sunday morning, when Fahri was still sleeping Tianing saw there was a phone call from Harya. Tianing hurriedly exited the room and headed for the bathroom.

"Hello.why brother ? it's me again in Malang" Tianing's voice softly.

"Sir.I want to inform....The first person I told....Gabriel did not exist.." Harya's voice sounded soft, hoarse and stammering.

"I mean ?"

"Gabriel was born, but apparently already died from the stomach of Dek. said the doctor poisoned because the tension of his mother is high" explained Harya lirih.

"What !!" Tianing instantly blank no longer powerfully said anything, the two of them held back miserably and ended up crying both. In Tianing's heart of gratitude, it was fortunate that Fahri was still sleeping.

"Yes yes Dek, I want to contact other families, and prepare everything"

"Yes, brother, I am patient..."

After he could control himself he returned to the room. And as previously planned, he and Fahri were on the streets of Malang City, but Tianing was already no more spirit. He also did not release the news of Gabriel's death, only to hope that Fahri will soon get news from the sosmed.

They had lunch at the mall. It turns out that Fahri put up the status of those who were eating at the mall. Tianing was shocked when he saw her.

"Why did you put up this status ?" tianing panicked

"What's the matter ?"

"Have you seen the news yet ? Ms. Arin gave birth but the baby died"

"Already" Fahri replied briefly without any expression.

"Then why are you still putting up the status of kayak gini ? isn't there empathy for my brother and sister ?"

"Why the heck Adek is always concerned about things like gini. Yes let them there, we're here" Fahri's voice rose.

"Not a problem that sis..other friends if you look at the status of the brother how their comments.dikira we do not care.shame is brother.." Tianing's voice held back emotions.

Fahri stopped eating, then said loudly "that's not the real reason Adek tho ! But because this is Harya's son ! Hence Adek kayak gini. Why Tho Adek always cares so much about Harya. It's all about Harya, Harya !! Brother deliberately put up this status. Satisfied !" It was like Tianing was shouting furiously, but they were in a crowded mall. Finally Tianing just kept silent, held back his anger and held back tears.

Tianing decided to return to Surabaya that night, when he usually returned to Surabaya Monday morning. He reasoned to Fahri that there were still unfinished tasks.

The next morning on campus, he told Wulan. It felt like he went home to Solo that morning to hug Harya as well. Wulan proposed how about just get on a plane. And sure enough, they immediately looked for the flight schedule, but unfortunately did not find the flight schedule that morning. Finally Tianing resigned and called Mbah kakung to represent them to the house of Harya. Tianing was monitoring hp and sosmed daily, looking forward to the news from Harya.

In the afternoon after about the completion of the funeral, he got a photo of Harya giving a sad rendezvous on a frangipani tree in front of Gabriel Kamil Saputra tomb. The perfect angel.

"Oh brother.If I could be by your side soon.want I soon hugged big brother..."