Elvarette Shiro
Episode 12: Nista
No one knows our way of life, only fate can answer it.
Arafis did not think about what my father did, between anger and pity mixed. It felt like he wanted to beat her up, but the wise man forbade her. He knows this is a test for me and an important lesson for everyone. Then she asked me to continue my story further about what happened to my father, mother, and Serena who expressed her desire to meet me. Then I continued my story of the man who was supposed to protect me.
***
That day, my father took me to his acquaintance. His trusted teacher touched me with his wild eyes and his followers. I cried out for help, but I just kept counting sheet after sheet of money received with my face without regret. My screams are only a consolation to those who tear the white cloth of this mortal body cover. That nightmare was the beginning of my heart, a pain I never thought my own father would do.
“Elvy, forgive dad.”.
“Sorry for what? To sell me again?”
“Dad has no choice! Only in this way do we survive debt..”.
“ENOUGH, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYMORE!”
“You know? If you don't want to do it, what about your sister's fate?”
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN?”
“Do you think who's paying for all the medical expenses? He is the one who helps us all with his help! Then where's your mom?”
“Dia..”
“YOUR MOTHER LEFT YOU GUYS, UNDERSTAND!”
“IMPOSSIBLE!”
“Your mother left you to pursue wealth and comfort, she is tired of being a woman who is confined by your burden. Every night he comes with his girlfriend, who is none other than his boss, you understand? That's why he never came home and never returned.”
“No, dad must be lying! That's impossible!” “As far as you are, but what would you do if Rena knew this story? Do you want him dead to hear this story? If you want, I'll tell Rena that I don't have any more burdens!”
“Don't dad, I beg you not!”
“Means you know what you have to do?”
“What do you want?”
“If you want to help Rena, you have to help dad. I promise you, for this alone. Serve the master teacher so that he is safe.”
I can only be silent without answering, it feels heavy to be a puppet without a soul. From here the lie began, unimaginable to me if I was my father's guarantee to pay his debt. A nightmare I won't remember all my life, that place became my eternal fear. My body is torn by the hands of evil holy masked, every night, I am a slave to the lust of the pseudo pleasure hunters.
After serving the bastards with staggering bodies, I placed a look at Serena who was sleeping in her room. Looking at the little girl with sapphire blue eyes, she always wore black pajamas wrapped around her white skin. He's lying down peacefully, if I could be like you. So calm and trusting as our wise grandfather, dear only you have the chance to meet him.
“Kakak?” soapa wakes up.
“Hi dik, how are you?”
I answered him with a smile, closing the grief so that he would calm down. Rena is giving her long black hair with her right hand. Blue eyes looked at me with a glare, asking with a shady smile.
“Kak, why are you lethargic? Does sister work?”
“Iya Rena, sister just got home.”
“What's your sister working until your face turns pale?”
“Sister is just exhausted, it's only the first time working outside.”
“Kakak worked hard for me?”
“Kak, forgive me.”
“Sorry for what Rena?”
“I'm sorry for making you bother kak.”
“What's bothering? Brother never bothered. All you do is want to help you.”
“I know, you must be working hard in place of mom.”
“Serena..”.
“Kak, when do moms come home?”
“Entaihlah, sister also do not know.”
“Then dad?”
“Dia...he has affairs.”
“Finding mom?”
“Looks..”.
I wanted to give this to my sister, but I knew it would be bad for her condition. Then mother? I don't know where he's been for weeks. So I can only be quiet until confession comes, but when? I don't know until when. I'm sick of all this, especially to the father who sold me a lie.
The more lies I hear and see. I can only smile cynically at the world while crying deeply. What he was going through was only the mace in his mortal life. In my story, dark became a journey of life that I had to go through. For the sake of taking care of her I am willing. Dear destiny says something else. Sorry what he said to me was a farewell. She never got back on medication as she should, the proceeds of selling me never got to Serena. He breathed his last in his sleep.
***
Five years have passed, bad luck still faithfully accompanies me who has become a slave to them. The rain is still soaking the earth, my mind is getting dry of the real affection of a father and mother. So the night offers me a pseudo-love of the night creatures in this place, the space of the orgasmic nista. White like silk is a guarantee to get happiness from the invaders of humanity. My face is also beautiful like a porcelain doll from Europe.
All predators will prey on my body, the little girl. What I ask for, will surely be obeyed. But unfortunately my request never materialized, a desire to see my sister again. The news I heard, my father left his community. For his payment he sold me as his currency.
Treasure, love, and fame are the guarantees that I will be saved. The innocent face and the small posture of my body that makes me safe and wary. For this body has always been the target of the rulers of the media for those who thirst for inner pleasures.
In the beginning, I knew this dark world with the glittering palaces of hedonism and the towers of capitalism. I once tasted the sweetness of the fame wine that catapulted me to the elites. Where officials and criminals love the dandyism of my body that is forced to dance on the podium of the world without a cloth that covers the body. A million pairs of eyes glared at my innocent self.
No one knows our way of life, only fate can answer it. As time went on, the dust of the world began to stick to me, the white of the skin he had slowly began to fade covered by the dust of the world. The rays of glory began to fade along with the light of the new arrivals who were more elegant than me. That was my worst time, falling from the tower of sin, I fell into deep regret. At that time I wasn't sure if this self would survive the abyss of disdain.
Fortunately, I did not fall to the ground floor. I got caught in a big tree. My life was almost floating, from there the beginning of contemplation appeared, seeing the bodies of women lying like the carcasses of animals. Inwardly, I imagine what would happen if this self were like those poor women?
The height of the towers is actually an open grave, the glitter of dim light was actually all from the suffering and misery of humans who adore luxury and greed that continue to be pursued. I ran away from them and hid in the park. There is no home for me that is despicable, no shelter other than to fend for myself.
I am afraid of my misguided steps that do not think long, glittering that I have only illusions before death awaits, those who have passed their prime will die like carcasses of animals on the side of the road. I'm afraid, I'm afraid, I'm ashamed. All emotions were united in the heart until he came to extend a hand. Uncle Khidr came to help me.
The beige-clothed old man reached out to me who was in a mess. My hand trembled with his broad palm, from there I knew Khidr the sage from across.
Started by cleaning myself from the stains that have long been attached to my body by bathing in the holy pool.I took water from the pool and rubbed it on the face and all over the body to clean. Then I put on a holy garment, a proper dress to wear and keep myself from the sting of blasphemy.
It was then that I began to learn inner peace, and from him also who asked me to cleanse my heart by stretching my chest through the journey. Maybe with this too I can defend myself from wrong and regret.
***