Fazila Tipan From Heaven
Pilu

Fatimah Azzahra!

My father and mother gave me that name because they hoped I would grow up to be a strong and loving woman.

From the age of five I lived with my grandmother Alma, my father's adoptive mother. Grandma Alma loves me very much, I love her very much too.

Five years ago Alma's grandmother's husband, Alfa's grandfather, was not trapped when he was going to climb up the Butak mountain.

Mount Butak has an altitude of 2,868 MDPL. Mount Butak itself has two paths, namely the Panderman line and the Blitar line. The path is quite heavy and exhausting. Grandpa Alfa himself really likes a challenge, since he was young he always climbed various different mountains in Indonesia.

But this time was different, many times Alma's grandmother asked Alfa's grandfather not to go up the mountain, he still mgeyel until finally he died because of the cold and lack of supplies.

Ever since Alfa's grandfather died, Alma's grandmother was like an undead. He ate, drank, and even threw his shit on the bed.

Wa wassainal-insana biwalidaih, hamalat-hu ummuhu wahnan 'ala wahniw wa fisaluhu fi 'amaini anisykur li wa liwalidaik, ilayyal-masir.

and we command men to do good to their parents. Her mother had conceived her in an increasingly frail state, and she was discharged at the age of two. Be thankful to Me and to your parents, only to Me your return.

All my life, I will always be devoted to Grandma Alma. To me he is the unsung Hero of my black and white life, there would be no color without his presence.

This time he disappeared like smoke without a trace, I ran all over Surabaya just to find his whereabouts. I ran with her picture, asking everyone I met, hoping someone would see Alma's grandmother.

I was getting sadder because no one knew the whereabouts of the middle-aged woman.

Hikk.hikk.

I started crying a lot. What would happen to my life if the person who had been my crutch was no longer with me. Bad shadows as if dancing in my eyes, I was getting scared.

"Think Fatimah, think!" I'm trying to remember all the places Grandma could go. There's no clue I can find other than to point to the Butak mountain.

Ndock. Last night your grandmother had a dream to meet your grandfather, he looked handsome in his white clothes. He even used the white turban that Grandma bought him last time, his face looking handsome. Grandma was afraid that your grandfather would forget about grandma because he was young while she was very old.

"Yes, that's right. Alma's grandmother must have been up in the mountains of Butak, the last location of Alfa's grandfather when he was alive." I quietly wiped away the tears with the back of my hand.

O Allah. There's no one I can ask for help. Lirihku. I have nothing to be proud of except Faith in my chest and Alma's grandmother who always loved me unconditionally. I can only hope he is okay.

...***...

Mount Butak is known for its sloping but long paths with very beautiful scenery. Sometimes reality did not match expectations, that day the fog was very thick, and the visibility was only ten meters.

The terrain uphill is quite high and in and out of the forest, the stone area is notoriously cold in addition to the rainy season.

The night was a bad experience that I experienced, the terrain uphill quite high and felt heavier in the dark and drizzling rain.

"grandmother. Grandmom. Where's granny?" Call me while you scream. I'm sure Grandma Alma must be in this forest. Every time I miss Alfa's grandfather, Alma's grandmother always looks for an opportunity to escape from me.

I ran while looking to the right and left, hoping that Grandma Alma was in every corner I was looking for. I was shocked when someone pulled my arm roughly from behind.

"What are you doing?" I shouted louder. It seemed that his heart and mind had been possessed by the damned Devil, for a second there was no compassion for me, but I was constantly begging to be let go.

"You dare yell at me? Now look what I can do to you!" Said the man rudely while bringing himself closer to me.

The man locked my body with his two arms, I kept in a fight. The more I muttered the more he strengthened his embrace. I was surprised when he threw my head covering rough. I started screaming while crying. My body was shaking with fear.

"I don't care if you cry until your tears are dry. You dare to play with the other boat behind me, did that guy do this to you, huh?" Snapped the man rough.

"You cried in front of me, while with that curse you smiled sweetly, huh? The man shouted even more loudly and violently.

I can't match his calm. I lost, but I didn't just lose. A loud slap landed on his face, and it further irritated him.

An hour later, I was still crying.

What was my fault God until I was treated this badly...? I can't stand myself, so how will I dare to face you? I'm dirty. I'm dirty. I screamed in my heart.

I feel disgusted at myself. How can I repay this Demon-hearted Man if I alone cannot move my body. I'm too weak to even just scold him.

Ahhhh! The man screaming scared me even more. I cried without making a sound. The devil could not do good, and now that the man had destroyed my pride so badly he covered my innocent body in a suit he had thrown rough.

"A-P-A have you done it to me?" I said with tears of sadness.

"Aren't you afraid of God?" I said again in a soft, barely audible voice.

With the remnants of my energy I had, I began to recite the holy verse.

Wa la taqrabuz - zina innahu kana fahisha, wa sa'a sabila.

And do not approach adultery, for it is an abomination, and a bad way. (Qs. Al-iszra: 32).

The man left me alone without looking back. I want to curse. But who am I gonna fuck? Claiming Destiny? I'm not that brave to question my Lord!

The Torah was written before the prophet Adam the US was created. The Torah was written 40 years before Adam was created. In the Torah there is a statement that the prophet Adam AS disobeyed to Allah SWT it is in line with what is written in the Quran:

And Adam disobeyed God, and he went astray. (Qs.Thaha:12).

How can I blame the fate that was written long before my Lord created me?

I know it's heavy. Very heavy. I can only ask to be given the strength to live the rest of my life with strength and patience.

But still these tears of sadness could not stop dripping, and now I felt dizzy and nauseous at the same time. My eyes twitched, a minute later only darkness existed because I began to lose consciousness.

...***...