Grabbing Asa
Derogate
The sound of the dawn's azan reverberated, waking me up from my deep sleep. Immediately I got up from the bed that was on the mat, to take the wudu and perform prayers.
“Mbak, called Mom to kitchen” said Faris, my sister
“Iya Ris, for a moment, Mbak neatenya” first I fold my face neatly and walk up to mom.
“Sini Ma'am, Iffah help” I immediately take over the job that mom is working on.
“Mbak, today want school?” mother asked slowly, I only nodded doubtfully in response.
“Mom don't have the money to pay SPP Mbak, Mbak still want to come to school?” mom looked at me intensely, making me worry.
“iya Bu, now or later will still happen ‘kan?” say slowly
Mom was silent, her eyes became sad, making me feel more guilty.
“Bu, Iffah does not matter if it should happen now, Iffah never blames anyone, does Allah not give the best for His servant? Mother, Iffah promises someday Iffah will reach the despair that has been strung” my tears flow, somehow the atmosphere becomes sad, I smile even though my heart cries I must still look strong.
“Bu, it's 06.00 wib. Iffah had to leave, Iffah to the room first yes, Bu” I left the mother who was still silent, immediately I room to get ready for school, it did not take long I was ready.
“Mbak, Ma'am want school?” ask Faris
“Iya, Ris” my answer is short
The circular watch on my right hand shows 06:30 wib. That means soon the class will start, I will say goodbye to my mother and sisters. Yeah, I'm the first of 3 kids, don't ask my dad where? Because I don't know either. Dad left behind a wound, crushing the beautiful strung despair.
I soon got to the front of the school gate. I walked down the corridor in slow steps, watching my friends play. Yes, I attended one of the schools in Jakarta, my school was close to the highway until the hustle and bustle of cars sounded until class. The entrance bell had rung, all the students ran to their respective classes, as well as my class. The atmosphere became violent, because the teacher could not get into the classroom, making us free without supervision. However, before long the homeroom teacher came in to make an announcement and called out the names of the troubled children.
The atmosphere became tense, as well as me. Instantly I panicked as Ms. Nia called my name out loud. Even when Ms. Nia had left the classroom, I was still agitated. The lesson bell reads indicating that the first lesson has ended and the second lesson will begin. I didn't pay attention to Okta's explanation at all. Before long the break bell rang, instantly my heart returned unsettled. I walked in slow steps towards Nia's mom's room. One by one my friends who were called had gone to Nia's mother, they were called because they ditched yesterday. Ah, the world is not fair, why do I who really want school is very difficult for me to go to school, why do those who can already go to school, no longer need to think about the cost is very happy to skip?
Tok
Tok
I knocked on the door of Nia's room, it just so happened that my homeroom teacher was a BK teacher, so Nia's mom had her own room, at least no one would hear if Nia's mom would insult me. Yes, the world is unfair, always caste in value.
“Masuk” said to Bu Nia from the inside, I stepped my feet trembling
“Siang, Bu” my cow
“Offah, how? Does the money already exist?” ask Nia ma'am
“Sorry, Bu” is just an apology spoken from my lips
“Iffah, this is a letter to your mother, it seems like the school can not tolerate anymore, you can only promise, without any good faith!” ms. Nia said firmly that I was jerking, there was a pain in me, I was trying to hold back my crying. Nah! I can't cry.
Time passed so quickly, the bells went home, all the students were scattering out of the classroom, pushing each other around in jest. Ah, happy to see it, will I continue to see this kind of atmosphere? Will I still feel the atmosphere I dreamed of? I kept asking in my heart, it all felt unfair to me.
Time has shown at 14.30 wib. But I was still reluctant to get out of my seat, as my tears flowed, I cried alone in class, I don't know tomorrow can I still study here? Can I still write here? Someone rushed into the classroom, I swiftly wiped the flowing tears and tried to be fine.
“first yes, Sis” I said later and left my friend just like that
Thiin
Thiin
“Don't walk while daydreaming dong, Ma'am!” the driver of the car shouted
A very loud voice resuscitated me from the daydream, I sighed softly. I rubbed my chest slowly.
Almost ~ I thought
…
“Assalamualaikum, Bu”
There is no word from within, many times I say hello, the house looks empty. I entered the house, traversing every room.
“Mibuuu” shouts me
I saw my mother helpless in the kitchen, with a pale face and a cold body temperature. I came out screaming for help no one heard. I didn't know they didn't hear or just pretended not to hear. I ran around the streets, approaching house by house. However, everything seemed quiet, as if everything had been planned. Shortly after I met one of the residents, I forced him to go home to check on his mother.
“Innalillahi wa innailaih roji’un” said the person slowly
I cry my world mourns. Again, I lost the person I loved so much. The figure that had been encouraging me, accompanying my days, no more sweet smiles that greeted me in the morning. There's no more place for me to complain. It didn't take long, my house became crowded by neighbors. They helped me to take care of my mother's body. Although in my heart I asked “where are you guys? Where were you guys just now? Why aren't you there when I need you? If not too late, maybe you can still save” those words only get to the throat.
“Mbak, why is Mom's face covered in white cloth?” said Rara, my sister who just came home from teaching
“Mbak, what happened exactly? Ma'am, please answer us!” Faris shook my shoulders tight, but I was still silent, I was unable to speak, my mouth was twisted. Only a cry came out of these lips. Ah, what kind of brother am I? I should have been strong, I should have been able to hold myself back.
Rara, my 8-year-old sister, was crying hysterically near my mother's body, while Faris was just silently staring at my mother with a blank look. Not only did I lose here but they were my sisters. They also would not have thought if mom left too soon. But I'm here to do nothing. I just cried lamenting our next fate.
…
A week has gone by, nothing has changed in our lives, we are still silent, no one dares to start a conversation. I immediately got ready to sell around in place of mom making a living. At least no one should drop out of school like me.
When the time showed at 18:00 wib, I still did not go home, stayed in the park while offering merchandise to passers-by. I look at the twilight with teary eyes, I wish my troubles were just like twilight, coming only for a while. In my heart I always ask, if I am allowed to step why should there be a word of vengeance?