Hot Couple: Inspiration From God (I Love You, Ustadz!)
Convince the Heart

"We will discuss this later, after delivering all the invitations," said Mas Ilham while wearing a seatbelt. He turned the ignition and drove his car.

I just nodded, Laila and Laili who were sitting at the back also did not say anything. We both know that this is a personal matter between the two of us and should not be discussed in front of others, including in front of my two cousins.

As planned, after delivering all the remaining invitations without rest, Mas Ilham turned his car into the parking lot of an ice cream shop.

"Dik, Mas Ilham wanted to chat with Mbak Zahra, yes. You guys sitting at the other table is okay, right?"

They both understood. "Yes, Mas" said Laila.

"OKAY. Thanks, Ladies. You can order anything inside. Don't be shy."

Laila and Laili tried to smile, and they had opened the door and were about to get out when Mas Ilham intercepted my hand. I could feel the grip of his strong hand as his fingers coiled around my arm: implied meaning, and not at all to hurt.

"We're talking good, huh? Would please? I don't want to lose you, Zahra."

I nodded, and quickly opened the door beside me as Mas Ilham took his hand off me.

Inside the shop, Mas Ilham ordered chocolate ice cream for me and vanilla for himself, and freed Laila and Laili to choose their own orders. Then, he deliberately waited for our ice cream in the new field he opened his voice.

"Chocolate can relax you" he said.

"Can you just get to the point, Mom? Please?"

"Honey..," he said softly. "Don't misunderstand me. Indeed, between me and your friend just now - we had met, like our introduction at that time. But in the pesantren. That's why I didn't know it was his house. I swear, I even forgot her name even though I remember her face. Please, yeah, trust me. My family has confirmed to H. Junaidi if we don't accept the match. By Allah. If you don't believe it, you can ask Umi directly. Or do I need to call you now?"

I practically shook my head. When should I ask her mother directly?

"No need, Mas," I refused.

I know, I can easily believe in Mas Ilham's explanation. It is also unlikely that Kiai Rahman will risk the honor of his family by hanging up the answers to the match between his son and a girl who expects love from her son. But that's not the problem.

"Say you believe me, Zahra?" He looked at me deeply. Conveying hope.

I also nodded. "I believe" I said. "But, as we saw earlier, Yunita was expecting you, Mas."

"I'm sorry, but it's beyond my right and my power to break his expectations. Only God can turn my heart, not me. I can only say -- sorry, my rejection of the match. And I deserve that. I have the right to decide whether or not to accept the match. I have absolute freedom to choose. In fact, Abi and Umi never forced me."

Again. I'm nodding. "I know," I answered. "And the problem isn't that, Mom."

"Then what?"

I'm down. "Frankly, Mas, all I fear here is one, with other women expecting you, I fear you will be polygamous. I-i-"

"Zahra. inshaallah, I am not that kind of man. I'll be enough with just one woman. One wife to death. Please don't doubt me, Zahra."

Hmm. so sure he is. Isn't that likely to always be there?

"If you change?"

"Inshaallah no."

"If yes?"

"Maybe if you're sincere." She grinned.

"I'll never be sincere, Mas..," I whine.

"That means I'll never be polygamous, dear."

I frowned. "There is no possibility."

I'm just scared. I shed those tears. I hate being a child who grew up as a victim of the past. I should be able to live a normal life without the shadow of Umi's tears that I see almost every night.

"Listen to me" continued Mas Ilham. "The sincerity of a wife is very important, because we build a household as worship. If I wronged you, there would be no blessing in our household. And it could be that just as you are now against your parents, it will happen to our children too. By Allah, I do not want my descendants to lose respect for their parents simply because mistakes can actually be avoided. But I'm sorry, these words of mine don't mean to judge your parents. You understand that, right?"

I nodded my head while looking at him. "I understand everything you say, Mom," I said. "But what if you're going to be like Abi? Without the child's blessing, but she's polygamous?"

"You have the right to demand a divorce if I wish you. Women have the right to speak, Zahra. Do not be weak and learn sincerely, for for me -- in polygamy, sincerely not to be studied. That must be from the beginning. Because I never want your heart to hurt. By Allah, I love you to make you happy. Ask for a divorce if I betray our marriage."

God, I never wanted to be polygamous, nor did I want my marriage to end in divorce. But I must leave it all to the Owner of Life. I only hope that this man whom I have been betrothed to will be exactly like his father: glorifying his wife with loyalty.

And that is what I say in my prayers all the time. In fact, in one of my pilgrimages to marriage, I never forgot to pray: if he was my soul mate, I begged that we be right away, bound in an unobstructed contract. But if he is not my soul mate, I ask Him to annul our marriage, whatever it may be. Because I don't want a marriage that ends in divorce.

"All right," I said. "For this, I'm going to leave. If I had tried to be a good wife to you, but you still wished me, I would have chosen to separate. In fact, even if you only say permission once, I will no longer be willing to continue our marriage. You know, right, that trust is expensive?"

Mas Ilham smiled. "Yes, my dear Azzahra Salsabila, I understand. Can we eat now? The ice cream started to melt. Melted like you."

Ew...!

I nodded my head, and I let him scoop ice cream in his mouth. But my heart is not relieved.

"There are many, yes, women who are betrothed to you?"

Inspiration pursed his lips. It must have been a lot, I thought when I saw his expression like that.

"Honestly, Mommy."

"confused. If I said no, you wouldn't believe me."

"So there's a lot? Hm? Why did you choose me? Yunita is obviously even prettier than me, isn't she?"

Hmm. He laughed. It sucks!

"I have to admit, it's true, many girls are prettier than you. And honestly, whenever there's been a matchmaking plan from my parents over the past year or so, I always honor them by attending whenever there's an introductory process. But I also included God in my every step. Every time I make a decision, I always ask for a week for Istiqharah, and if there is no answer, I immediately tell Abi that I cannot accept the match. Simple, really. But believe it or not, you're the only woman who isn't very enthusiastic about meeting me. You even refused. But for Umi's sake, I got to Istiqharah first before I even met you. And finally you want to meet me. Fall in love again."

Whats?

"Who said? No, yeah. your piquancy."

Mas Ilham chuckled. Again annoying!

"Just kidding, dear Zahra."

"Not funny!"

"But you're funny. How cool is that."

Geez. I shook my head at it. "Well, may I know how Allah answers your istiqharah?"

"Sorry, for that one thing, it may be discussed later if we are married, so that my submission is not wrong if it is indeed an answer from God, and, and, not just an obscure whisper from other creatures."

Ah, he made me grumble again.

"Don't sulk, dong...! We also need chat material on the wedding night, right? Time to go straight...?"

Edan!

Directly what try? Again he made my face as red as a boiled crab. Shame, know...!