Hot Couple: Inspiration From God (I Love You, Ustadz!)
Single-minded

I opened my eyes slowly.

White light filled my eyes. Slowly, the objects began to be clearly visible and the white light began to recede. Now pink orange-orange. I'm gonna throw my eyes in here and there. I was in the hospital. There was a television hanging high on the wall. The screen is dark, which means it's not on.

Beside me, Mas Ilham was still sitting still, but his tears were still flowing as if he did not want to stop. He still held my hand which he had placed on his forehead, between his closed eyes.

"Mas" I called him. I felt like I hadn't spoken in a long time, and I thought my voice would be hoarse. But it didn't. My voice was clear, flowing out like honey. As if nothing had happened.

Of course, this was a state that was almost completely different from the accident I had before. I hurt myself then, not like now. I lost my life in my womb. It feels more painful than losing my own life. And of course, besides me who lay weak, the same is: when I opened my eyes, whether then or now: there was him, my Inspiration, right beside me. Even though he did not cry at that time, it was not like this time. Surely the doctor told him that my life expectancy was few, because his own patients did not want to fight for life. As is often shown in senetron, right?

"Zahra, you're aware. Thank goodness." He smiled, but the smile soon faded, changing the look of the eyes with an anxious look. He looked at me with worry.

I-i know. I know what I'm going to face. This reality, the reality....

"How are you feeling? I mean... What do you feel? Emm... thirsty? Wanna drink?"

I'm shaking. My tears are dripping. It won't feel better. Never will because I know for sure that I've lost my baby.

"Don't cry, honey. You know, don't I like seeing you cry? I don't want to see your tears."

But I can't possibly not cry. I lost my son. A little angel I've never even heard of her heartbeat. My hands move, holding my stomach - - with pain.

"Zahra, you. emm...." He gulped with difficulty, while his messy thick brows furrowed to hide his glass-like eyes. "We. we lose...."

Yeah, Mas Ilham's voice was raucous when he spoke again. "Not yet rizki us. We need to be patient. Must sincere. God will replace it."

My lower lip was still shaking and my hand was automatically gripping the blanket that covered my stomach. I looked at Mas Ilham expectantly, how aware that I was still hoping, how I wanted that this terrible event was just a nightmare.

Mashal nodded sadly. My lips are shaking more and more now, up and down and I can't stop. My body shook violently and I couldn't stop it either. Tears welled up, but I stopped the scroll. If I start now, maybe I'll never stop.

I make noises. Unusual noise I've never heard. Converting*. Growl. Both combination. Mas Ilham grabbed my hand and held it tightly. His skin feeling brought me back to consciousness. This time he said nothing. What can be said? I don't even know. He just hugged me: such a tight hug.

I know how you feel, the tight hug says, I know how you feel.

Ii'm sorry. I'm sorry, my embrace replied to him: answering unspoken words.

A few minutes -- long enough, Mas Ilham let go of his embrace. He kissed my forehead, with his lips that were also trembling. After that, he looked at me so deeply.

Everything would be fine, his eyes said, and his hand was trying to convince. And I just nodded. I understand, and try to believe.

"Ikhlas, dear."

I nodded back. And in my heart I said: Yes, I am sincere. Everything's gonna be okay....