
1 year later..
A lot of things happened during this year. Ella was free and now she's gone nowhere. Binar and Albiru enjoyed their quiet time together.
After the miscarriage that Binar did choose to close himself from the family, the woman was still reluctant to socialize. Albiru himself left all the options to Binar, he just wanted Binar to be happy in his own way.
"I'm off to work, baby." Pamit Albiru to Binar who is cleaning the dining table.
"Be careful, Bi." Binar kissed the back of Albiru's hand, driving her husband to the door.
Albiru's departure made Binar feel so lonely. During this one year Binar was so lonely, but he managed to cover up his feelings. He did not want Albiru to feel burdened because it was better that he harbored his loneliness alone.
Binar wanted to have a child soon but God still wanted another. That's why he tried to avoid his family and also the Albiru family in order to maintain his own feelings.
...****************...
Albiru had just finished lunch when the phone ring came to his attention, the name Mother Siti.
"Assalamu’alaikum, Ma'am." Sapa Albiru after finding a quiet place to answer her mother's phone.
"Waalaikumsalam, how are you Blue?"
"Alhamdulillah Blue is good, ma'am."
"Busy huh? Why never go home again? I miss you."
Albiru sighed before replying, "the Blue workmanship is much more Ma'am."
"At least come to Mom's house or call Mom. Are you getting any longer and farther away from Mom? Is your wife the one who stopped you from going home?"
"Astaghfirullah, Mom. Please don't suudzon like that as well as Binar, can't you just think good about Binar once?"
"Belain kept your wife, because of her Ella was imprisoned and now your sister is somewhere."
"It looks like I forgot that Ella was the cause of Binar's miscarriage. A bad guy like Ella doesn't deserve to be Blue's sister."
"Blue, you're so mean to Ella. After all, you're all grown up together, she's like your real sister."
"Yes, Mom, Blue won't argue. Blue wants to work, asslamu’alaikum."
Abiru hung up immediately. This is what makes him reduce the meeting with his mother, to be honest Albiru began to get tired of all the behavior of his mother who continued to hurt Binar.
Not to mention the question of when Binar was pregnant, it made Albiru feel depressed. He could not bear to see the sad look on Binar's face.
"Why Blue?" Albiru immediately turned her head and found Raka staring at her.
Albiru simply shook her head slowly, looking reluctant to reply.
"Gue notice your load is increasing yes. Until you forget how to part yourself." Raka's comment invites Albiru to come closer, sitting next to her senior.
"Gue was happy with seeing Binar happy." Reply Albiru sure.
"Gue is also happy to see my wife happy, but there's one thing you're missing. You also need happiness for yourself. Your burden is heavy enough, do you think your wife will be happy to see you like this?"
"Gue doesn't know what else to do."
"Please one by one load lo. One of them is trying to be honest with your wife, no matter how bitter the reality is as long as you are honest I am sure your wife will try to accept. But it would all be different if he knew the harsh reality of it from others."
Raka closed the conversation, leaving Albiru alone. What Raka said was true, but Albiru still needed time to be honest with Binar.
...****************...
Albiru had just wanted to close her eyes when the voice of Binar came back.
"Bi, I want to ask you something, can you?" binar asked Albiru, who opened her eyes again.
"I want to see Doctor Bi," Binar replied slowly.
Albiru immediately sat down beside Binar. "We're sick, baby?"
Binar shook his head slowly hesitating to answer. "I mean obstetrician, Bi."
Albiru paused for a moment then pulled Binar into his arms.
"I told you, baby, please don't charge yourself like this. We're going everything slow."
"I want to get pregnant Bi, I want to have children." Binar spoke with a trembling voice holding back the cry.
"I know baby, but I'm afraid you're burdened."
"I feel lonely Bi, I see people who are newly married and already pregnant, but seeing myself who is not pregnant makes me even sadder."
Albiru did not answer but tightened his embrace. Albiru knew how strong she wanted Binar to get pregnant but Albiru was afraid that she would know the harsh reality she had been hiding.
"I'll take you to the doctor, but please don't make this all a burden. I've been happy with you baby, for me enough you beside me everything will be fine."
Binar just nodded slowly, he did not know the implied intent of Albiru's words. Right now all he wanted was to try his best to obtain offspring.
...****************...
"Where's Doctor?" binar asked impatiently as soon as the doctor finished examining him.
"I wanted to apologize in advance. As I have said before, the womb of Ms. Binar is troubled. The effect of the drug is so powerful, that it makes the wound in your heart."
"I mean Doctor?" Binar asked not understanding. His eyes looked at Albiru who was just bowed listlessly.
"The opportunity for you to get pregnant again is only twenty percent. The drug not only makes the wound of the uterus but damages the egg of the mother of Binar."
Binar fell silent, all the words of the Doctor before him were like nightmares. Unconsciously Binar cried, his heart ached hearing this bitter reality. All his beautiful dreams so far were mere wishful thinking.
Albiru hugged Binar as if giving strength to his wife. Binar was only able to cry, shedding her pain with tears. This is what Albiru was afraid of, he was afraid that Binar would fall like this.
On the way home Binar chose to be quiet, staring at the scenery outside. While Albiru was only able to look at Binar with a look of guilt.
"Please stop in front," Pinar's pinta that Albiru immediately obeyed.
Albiru stopped his car even though the battery wondered what Binar wanted to do.
"Day me alone, Bi. I need time alone, I'm not going anywhere, I just need time alone in this park."
After saying that Binar immediately out of the car to the park that looks crowded by children. Albiru wanted to hold back but knew Binar needed time. All Albiru did was be able to stare at Binar from afar.
While Binar chose to sit in the garden seat alone. Looking around her are so many children of different ages. In his loneliness Binar imagined one day he sat in this park while watching his son who was playing
Imagining it made Binar cry. His mind wondered why God gave such a heavy ordeal. Why does God not let him be happy? What mistake did he make until God punished him like this?
Binar kept wondering without knowing the exact answer. The woman continued to cry shedding all the tightness in her chest in the hope that the pain could lessen, even though she knew there was no cure for her pain.
TB
**Minal Aidin Wal Faizin.apologies born and inner to faithful readers.
Sorry can update now because of the author of many more guests 😁
Hopefully in the future this novel will be more advanced and many like it. Thank you for stopping by and supporting the work of author 😊
Do not forget likes and comments yes. dishare kekeman² others can also let byk read 😊😉**